To say that as the mother of teens who did stick to the rules and whose mental health suffered no I am not over partygate

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I’m steaming angry actually and will be for some time. Particularly given how dire mental health support is for teens and those pushed into nothing at 18.

Getting sick and tired of hearing how tedious partygate is from those that want it to go away. Some of us are still living with it and reliant on services that are overwhelmed with a massive increase in those needing them post lockdown. Teens and kids who would have loved to have get togethers, parties and sit exams but who followed the rules and stayed at home damaging their mental health instead.😡

Both my teens are still in bits. The younger one is starting to come together, but the older one is a disaster. Camhs have been quite good, but the improvement is slight. I don’t know what to do.

Every time I think about him and his pals partying whilst my kids were sat on their own and miserable, I get the rage, and no one close to me died, so I don’t come near their anger. It doesn’t consume me, but when the time to vote comes I will not forget what he and his party did.

I have - I was invited, along with others, to talk to a cross party group of MPs and peers at Westminster!

What will your anger achieve? Stewing about it will only make you feel worse. You'd do better if you channelled your energies into something of practical use.

I was answering this!

I was on mn throughout lockdown - people get what they deserve. People on here were vile in their love of petty rule enforcement. It didn't matter if it was logical or not, if it stopped a virus or not, they just loved having a rule to enforce

This is so true.

Two things stick in my mind. The charming poster (no doubt tucked up with her husband every night) berating someone for 'shagging it about' because she said she missed her boyfriend (before support bubbles).

And the poster who screamed MILK IS NOT ESSENTIAL WHEN YOU HAVE TAPS in a discussion about visiting the supermarket.

Absolute fucking vile nutters.

I agree, the issue is that all debate was shutdown. So risks weren’t balanced.

Anyone who questioned any aspect of the lockdowns was shouted down, shamed, and their career limited.

Its even more frustrating that there was no opposition. Labour and the SNP were far worse. Their only contribution was to argue for lockdowns that started sooner, lasted longer and were more stringent. And, when you looked at the opinion polls, the public agreed.

I wonder what the final stats on Sweden were?

It wasn't just the Tories breaking the rules though was it? It was civil servants and senior labour politicians too

The civil servants who did this should not get away with it either - especially the senior ones. What senior Labour politicians have been found to have broken the rules?

My MP is conservative and she has never replied to anything. Of course Tory supporters would love this kind of advice: don't tell anyone about grievances, write to your MP (who will ignore you if they are conservative and can't help you of they aren't) and vote differently (of course no one with an iota of morality should vote conservative but one vote is not going to make a difference).

Mumsnet is a great place to remind lots of people what a self serving, opportunistic bunch of chancers we've got in government!!

Thanks op.

This 'move on, people' is so convenient for those who make the poor decisions. We had it ad nauseum with brexit too. Such a great way of avoiding accountability and scrutiny. Fuck up all you like then just tell people to 'get over it'.

I don’t know. But if anyone wonders what the mindset of most of the public was like back then, and why teens were deprioritised mn is a way to understand it.

Initially, it was clear that Boris wasn't in favour of lockdowns but had to give in to public pressure and the selected experts.
Unfortunately, this is what happens when you behave without conviction and authenticity then try to blag your way around it. You end up not agreeing with what you put out there and behaving in a manner that exposes that.
It is always better to be honest.
I would have had much more respect for him if he'd admitted he did have gatherings, was lenient with those who did break the rules and explained that he did want to consider other options but went with what was the best info at the time to protect the majority.

Yes I do think it would have been better to have allowed visitors although I understand why not, I appreciate you know of others who lost parents however it sounds as if you have, fortunately, not been in my position. It was torture. I followed the rules and done my bit at the time as I wanted to do the right thing, however now knowing what was going on inside downing street I am angry about it. Also, just as a side note, I see you mention care homes etc, my mother was 53. She went into hospital for a routine operation & never came out. For the week she was in intensive care we couldn't visit and prior to that she had been shielding due to an unrelated condition. So I essentially didn't see her for 6months then she suddenly died. I know there are many, many people in my position but I am absolutely allowed to feel angry that our prime minister thought it appropriate to party whilst this was going on. I empathise with him losing his own mother but, again, I'm allowed to be angry.

Also further to my last response @lightisnotwhite 'work yourself into a tizz but it's done' is incredibly patronising. I know it's done & nowhere in my post did I say I was 'in a tizz' I actually said I'm trying not to dwell on it and I am just moving on with life, what other choice do I have!? I know everyone has had it tough & I don't go around complaining about it irl.

To all those saying, let go, time to move on, not healthy etc.
Actions have consequences - you break the law, you pay the penalty. Lying to parliament has a very clear penalty - resignation. Until that is paid, I will not move on ("Hey... I broke the rules a couple of years; nothing major, just resulted in a few thousand people dying... let's just move on, eh?")

My personal view is that the ones setting the law should be held to a higher standard and exemplify what it is we need to do. Otherwise, they are simply being hypocritical - and that is what we have here. A bunch of hypocrites who thing one rule for them, one for the oiks.

Totally hear you.
I've said it before here and I'll say it again- due to following the rules, my baby son didn't get a proper funeral. I had to hand his little coffin over to the staff at the crematorium. No service.
So I am totally with you that what he did is unforgivable.
I think he is likely quaking a bit though getting booed by tories a few days ago.

Easy to say get over it if all you can remember is that lockdown was shit and didn't miss out on precious last moments with loved ones. My compassion is for them.

So sorry for your loss @IRunbecauseILikeCake it is absolutely unforgivable. Although my circumstances are nothing like yours, I think knowing that people were having parties whilst you have to grieve in the most unnatural of ways actually adds to the trauma of it all. I'm so sorry you weren't able to have a proper service for your baby boy.

Yeah, I dont really think you get how mental health works. It isn't a choice!
My dc , I think, suffered PTSD after her gcse year, when they didn't know which test would count to their final grade and quite literally every day was an exam day.Overva year of extreme stress.Most of her friends are in counselling

I’m no Boris fan, but if I try to be fair…he nearly died of covid. I think that could explain his change of attitude. Can you imagine being weak, frightened and having the whole apparatus of government and the inteligencia telling you that Covid needed extreme measures and if you didn’t go along with it you would be killing millions? Add to that a completely hysterical public.

The point is we need open debate and clear facts. This is an example of one group getting ahold of the narrative and shutting down all real discussion. We are not a dictatorship, one person does not, cannot control everything. Our system is meant to include diverse opinions. When it works, we get the value of multiple experts testing their ideas with rigor do that the best ones win out. In this case we had well intentioned gatekeepers controlling all information and all discussion. Turns out, they weren’t as wise as they thought they were.

Why did liberal democracy crumble so easily? This was a bad virus and killed many vulnerable people early. But it was the reemergence of small pox or the bubonic plague. What on Earth was going on?

Sorry typos.
do = so

not the reemergence

Thank you ❤️ I'm sorry for your loss too

I agree - telling people to get on with it is not the answer. I think it's been such a polarising time. For some people it was just not being able to get out and about, and for others there was trauma that will take years to recover from.

Apparently nearly dying from covid has now become a mild case because it was exposed to be yet another in his stream of interminable lies to garner sympathy.

I'm not over it because my nan died alone. Her care home was brilliant, but all the facetime conversions won't take away the fact she died without family holding her hand.

I'm angry and can't bear to look at Boris on TV. Because we listened to him her last days were spent frightened and surrounded by well meaning strangers who were also wrangling other frightened and vulnerable people at the same time.

We didn't have a wake, straight home afterwards. No friends came to the funeral and some family watched on video because of the number limit.

While Boris and his staff held parties, my nan died alone.

I am so sorry.

All the heartbreaking first hand stories on this thread are the reasons why we should never get over it.

The rules were wrong. Over zealous. We should have been given personal responsibility. Why they brought them in should be the main question. Rather than who broke what. The hypocrisy is appalling but they were at work and the rules were illogical. If someone new comes in they must never do this to our young and old again. If he stays he must say rules were wrong and stop prosecutions.