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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say that as the mother of teens who did stick to the rules and whose mental health suffered no I am not over partygate

204 replies

L1nc0ln729 · 04/06/2022 08:50

I’m steaming angry actually and will be for some time. Particularly given how dire mental health support is for teens and those pushed into nothing at 18.

Getting sick and tired of hearing how tedious partygate is from those that want it to go away. Some of us are still living with it and reliant on services that are overwhelmed with a massive increase in those needing them post lockdown. Teens and kids who would have loved to have get togethers, parties and sit exams but who followed the rules and stayed at home damaging their mental health instead.😡

OP posts:
treenu · 04/06/2022 08:52

I completely agree youth mental health services are appalling - shame on them.

There is no thought of the younger generations.

TheSummerPalace · 04/06/2022 08:52

Pressed the screen in the wrong place! I totally agree with you!

mum2jakie · 04/06/2022 08:55

TheSummerPalace · 04/06/2022 08:52

Pressed the screen in the wrong place! I totally agree with you!

You can click again if you chose the wrong option! This needs to be 100% yanbu!

Noorandapples · 04/06/2022 08:55

I'm not either, and I'm sick of them telling us we are all over it. We aren't.

lightisnotwhite · 04/06/2022 08:56

So write to your MP and vote for a different party at the next election.

Peoples mental health would be a lot better if they could live in the now.

pastaandpesto · 04/06/2022 08:56

I hear you OP.

I'm actually joining the TUC march on 18th in London. It's the first time I have ever marched in my life but I am just so desperately angry. The march is actually a protest against the cost of living crisis (which I also feel strongly about) but I suspect many people there will also be protesting more broadly against the current leadership, specifically Johnson.

Carpy88999 · 04/06/2022 08:58

I'm over it. Mostly followed the rules but couldn't give a shit anymore and there's more important things going on in the world now, which I think Boris has handled pretty well so far and I never thought I'd give the guy praise at all.

pastaandpesto · 04/06/2022 08:59

And no, I am not remotely 'over it', and never will be, no matter how much gaslighty moving on rhetoric they spout at us.

rainylake · 04/06/2022 08:59

My child is a lot younger, but I feel I'm only now starting to get back the kid I had before covid. The restrictions (which we abided by) took a big toll on her. I am not over partygate and I feel such anger every time Johnson or one of his sycophants pops up to tell us how important it was for him and the people in Downing St to gather and socialise (while the rest of us and our pathetic little lives don't matter by implication)

itsjustnotok · 04/06/2022 08:59

I’m angry but right now I’m more worried that the party gate saga is overshadowing other issues like cost of living. Nothing to do with being ‘over it’. I wish that the same level of effort was given to those other issues because we can’t change the past. Johnson isn’t going to step down so I’ll bide my time until elections.

MarshaBradyo · 04/06/2022 09:01

Dc are ok here which I’m very grateful for know some really sad situations where teens were massively impacted by pandemic response, and still are.

I don’t think I’ll forget how we treated dc in all this and I’m not surprised people are angry if it’s still impacting them personally.

Mally100 · 04/06/2022 09:01

What is stewing over something that has happened and can't be undone going to change? Genuine question. Is it helping your anger and mh or causing more harm. It can't be change, you won't get the time back but you are taking away from the time you have. I'm over it.

JuliaDomna · 04/06/2022 09:02

Well said. So many people stuck to the rules and suffered as a result. Boris Johnson shouldn't get an easy ride over this. I hope your teens' mental health is improving now L1ncOln.

Fairislefandango · 04/06/2022 09:04

YANBU. I'm not 'over' partygate. Not because I ir my family suffered particularly due to the pandemic - I have been very lucky. But because I expect elected representatives who break the law, lie about it, and generally treat their voters with contempt to resign. The fact that Johnson is a lying scumbag is not a manifestation of people's (understandable) mental issues. It's simply a fact.

TulipsGarden · 04/06/2022 09:04

I'm not in the slightest bit over it. He should have resigned months ago.

GreenLunchBox · 04/06/2022 09:04

Well I'm glad it's taken 'partygate' for English people to wake the fuck up

SirChenjins · 04/06/2022 09:05

Hopefully enough people ‘not being over it’ will push Johnson and his crowd of morally repugnant cretins out of Govt.

I understand that some people like to shrug at things like this, but fortunately anger and disquiet from the majority moves society forward.

Vernonia · 04/06/2022 09:08

Totally with you. The reports rightly focus on the worst situations of people missing opportunities to say goodbye to dying loved ones. But our teens suffered and there are ongoing implications for so many of them.

Mine seem to be relatively unscathed on the surface (unlike teen friends who have been hospitalised with eating disorders) but the isolation has had a huge impact. They were chucked out of secondary school without warning - told not to come back the next day - so had no opportunity for the goodbyes that apparently adult civil servants deserved. It’s sickening.

AppleandRhubarbTart · 04/06/2022 09:10

I'm not over it because although I didn't adhere to the regulations after the first lockdown, these are the people who decided my DC should do without schooling and socialisation in the fight against covid. Whilst having piss ups themselves. It's the hypocrisy, the forcing others to do what they wouldn't themselves.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 04/06/2022 09:10

My DD was younger, 5 when lockdown started but I'm not over it. The reason is because of the blatant lies. We all know that politicians aren't always entirely forthright and honest but this level of barefaced lying tells us that we can never ever trust anything that this government says and if that's the case then how can we rely on them to do what's in the best interests of us, the people that they represent?

I saw on another thread someone saying that of course a leader would have to show up at a leaving do, what kind of leader would they be if they didn't? They completely missed the point that the leaving do wasn't supposed to be happening. That people all over the country had left a workplace after years of service and had no leaving do, that multiple thousands of people across the country had died and their families not been allowed a final farewell.

The rules were simple, especially in the first lockdown, and Boris was the one communicating those rules so should have had a very very clear understanding of what they were. To impose such restrictions on us while enjoying regular piss ups with his mates was an insult and a clear showing of how little he respects the people he is supposed to be working for.

BreakAwayTime · 04/06/2022 09:11

Holding a grudge isn't good for you. It ensnares you in anger and makes you prone to persistent rumination rather than moving forward with your life. You might think that harboring ill-will harms the person(s) you're angry at, but ultimately you're the one who suffers from it. It doesn't solve your problem(s) and it won’t make you feel any better. There is research that shows that fixating on negative emotions rather than resolving them is also harmful—and can even make for an unpleasant demeanor and substantially erode your well-being.

Its also bad for your mental health to harbour anger and bitterness about something that a) you had no control over, b) happened two years ago and c) was not personally directed at you. Research has also shown that holding on to these negative feelings all beget more negative feelings. Forgiveness and acceptance, on the other hand, often lead to a more emotionally stable mindset, less stress, and healthier well-being. Holding on to anger creates unnecessary stress and living with this additional stress makes you more prone to burnout and other mental ill health like anxiety and depression.

Essentially, the people that have let it go are probably happier right now than the people that are still frothing about it, even with the other current life stressors.

Strugglingtodomybest · 04/06/2022 09:11

I am not over it, and won't be until their are fair consequences to it. It's the absolute injustice of it that gets me.

I don't understand those who say that it was nothing and we should get over it. It has literally been one rule for the rich, and another for the poor during covid.

Strugglingtodomybest · 04/06/2022 09:12
  • there
roarfeckingroarr · 04/06/2022 09:12

I think it's incredibly tedious. I genuinely do not care about Boris, civil servants, or Starmer's rule breaking.

The world is warring / burning / starving / energy costs more than gold... I couldn't care less that some people drank wine at work 2 years ago.

babybythesea · 04/06/2022 09:12

Mally100 · 04/06/2022 09:01

What is stewing over something that has happened and can't be undone going to change? Genuine question. Is it helping your anger and mh or causing more harm. It can't be change, you won't get the time back but you are taking away from the time you have. I'm over it.

The way I see it, being ‘over it’ means that Boris has got away with it. Which means that we are saying that we don’t mind having someone who breaks the law and lies about it for our leader. I do mind. How the hell can I trust him on other issues, which have even more critical implications?

I’m still very angry with him. But it doesn’t spill over into my life or mean I’m unable to function or anything. It just means that I think he should be held to account. I’m trying to channel my anger at him in a useful way - like using it to write to my MP, making sure I vote etc. My anger means I don’t just say “Oh well, never mind.” Which I’m sure is what he’d like.

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