To say that as the mother of teens who did stick to the rules and whose mental health suffered no I am not over partygate

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I’m steaming angry actually and will be for some time. Particularly given how dire mental health support is for teens and those pushed into nothing at 18.

Getting sick and tired of hearing how tedious partygate is from those that want it to go away. Some of us are still living with it and reliant on services that are overwhelmed with a massive increase in those needing them post lockdown. Teens and kids who would have loved to have get togethers, parties and sit exams but who followed the rules and stayed at home damaging their mental health instead.😡

You might think that harboring ill-will harms the person(s) you're angry at, but ultimately you're the one who suffers from it

This is a politician we're talking about, a person whose fellow parliamentary Tories have the opportunity to remove and who if nothing else can be kicked out via the ballot box. The stuff about your anger not harming the other person doesn't really apply here. By all means throw out the cod psychology if posts like this are still happening once he's out of office, but it is not a sensible take now.

I’m not so focussed on partygate but I don’t want to see the same response again, without thought to impact.

I really feel for people whose dc are still suffering in any way.

I'm not 'over it' because if people are 'over it' it means that they have such a low opinion of themselves that they are happy to shrug their shoulders and accept that we are only worth enough to have a PM that sees himself as far more important than ordinary people.

He lied, lied and lied again. How could he stand on the doorstep clapping the NHS and then go indoors and drink and party? How could he stand there week in week out in press briefings and tell us we all have to keep the rules because we were all in this together?

I was unable to be with my family - including my two adult children for months. And it really hurt. Yet he was having boozy parties with his work chums.

I am still bloody furious. Every time I see his lying face on TV giving yet another apology that is no apology at all I want to scream. he is getting away with is all in plain view. All because well. it's just good old buffoon Boris isn't it. And who else is there, so let's stick with him. If we truely believe that there isn't one other person who would make a better PM then we really are an embarasment of a country.

We deserve better.

@Mally100 if people, historically, hadn't stewed, got angry and taken action about it we wouldn't have seen change or progress. Individual anger can lead to collective anger - the message 'don't be angry, it will ruin your MH' is damaging. I have been told repeatedly to let go of my anger and move on and get over my childhood abuse. No thanks.

Not letting go means I have been driven to a two careers where I safeguard, protect and research better lives for thousands of DC now. Anger is sometimes a driving force and justified. Telling people like OP to forget it, not stew and move on is simplistic. Adults need to turn round and tell and direct anger towards elected representatives for what they chose, for their behaviour. As children in this country don't have that power.

I care about those things too. There isn’t a limit on the number of things we can care about.
but I also care that my gran was sitting in a care home in the early stages of dementia- she knew enough to know she had family who weren’t visiting her but not enough to remember why she couldn’t have visitors. She died before I was able to go
and see her and tell her I hadn’t forgotten her and that I loved her. The rules he made and didn’t follow took that from me.
And how can we trust him on any of these other important issues when we know he breaks laws and lies about it?

I’m not over it. I’m not over the huge gulf in power, wealth and privilege between most of us and the people who are in our government.
partygate is just another example of one rule for them and one for us. This government have no idea of the impact that the rise in the cost of living is having on us. How could they when they are from such privileged backgrounds?

I can't sustain that kind of anger. I was pissed off enough about it in 2020. How can you maintain anger for 2 years - it's just not healthy. It was obvious from the beginning that people in charge didn't believe in or follow their own rules so it was your choice to do so in the same respect - their parties were hidden, behind closed doors, many other people did the same also behind closed doors.
Whole thing was a pathetic sham but that was obvious from March 2020. The great majority were more than happy to enforce petty rules and had a great time doing so. Perhaps even some posters on this thread had a wonderful time being sanctimonious about other people not mask wearing/social distancing/not sitting on a park bench. That was your fun time, as provided by the government. I hope you enjoyed it.

I see the Boris-bots are here attempting damage control 😂

I’m not over partygate.

But it’s not just about partygate , it’s how this current government have continually lied to us, it how our current PM wouldn’t know the truth if it not him in the arse. That they are more interested in covering their arses and staying in lower than doing any actual good.

Its about how badly they’ve handled (and created) Brexit, and they dealt with Covid - and none of this hindsight shit, we knew what was coming, we could all see what was happening.

How badly they are handing what’s going on now, how to make things all better, let’s bring back imperial measurements wtaf?

I’m furious that we have food banks and so many people reliant on them and how it’s only going to get worse now.

The whole lot of them live in cloud fucking cuckoo land, they haven’t got a clue what it’s like to live in the real world.

I won’t be over partygate until they’ve gone and can’t wait til the next election and we can vote the corrupt useless self serving fuckwits out.

My grandfather died alone in a nursing home whilst those entitled fucks were getting pissed up. I'm not over it - that's not holding on to bitterness. It's being justifiably angry that the government of this country were fucking us over at one of the worst periods in modern history.

“But he’s apologised.”

Oh wow I didn’t know there was such a simple solution to lawbreaking! Let’s just get everyone in prison to apologise, so we can let them out asap!

“Downing St staff needed a morale boost”

So did everyone! No one else got a Christmas party.

“It’s in the past now.”

So are literally all crimes.

I am normally reasonably confident in my views - not that I necessarily believe I’m always right, but I think I’m fair and reasonable enough.

I don’t know what to think of ‘party gate.’ I didn’t stick to the rules. I didn’t put anyone at risk, but I did use my common sense rather than following the rules to the letter.

It does seem to suggest lockdown wasn’t really necessary. In which case, why did we do it?

@lassof because I’m not a fuckwit and wanted to do the right thing, not have more people dying because we all fancied a birthday party. It’s called being part of society and taking responsibility for all of us. Shame our government don’t have the same morals.

@babybythesea I am angry at the rules that were put in place - driven by sage and the media stirring up public fear. The rules were abhorrent and inhumane and I'm very sorry you went through that experience.

We broke the rules in small ways, such as having one or two friends over when we weren't seeing anyone vulnerable for a while, because ultimately I chose my baby's development and own mental health. Perhaps that's why I'm not angry - because their rule breaking made total sense to me.

Not 'over it' either. Btw what does 'delivering for the people' actually mean? Delivering a broken Brexit and letting all the other infrastructures go to the wall?

It would be a lot easier to forgive if the Tories were not on another planet with bringing back Imperial, sending asylum seekers to Rwanda and other mad schemes in the middle of crisis.

It was obvious from the beginning that people in charge didn't believe in or follow their own rules so it was your choice to do so in the same respect - their parties were hidden, behind closed doors, many other people did the same also behind closed doors

It wasn't all choice, though.

My household stopped observing rules on socialising quite early on. Cummings in May 2020 made it very obvious which way the wind was blowing in terms of one rule for them.

However, there were plenty of things people had no choice but to observe. When Johnson and co deemed my children unworthy of an education, their schooling collateral, I couldn't do anything about that. Some people lived in areas where neighbours and police harassed them. Some people's loved ones were in hospitals and care homes. Not everyone had people nearby they could illegally socialise with like me and by the sound of things you did.

@SafeMove well said

Do you genuinely believe that, for example, Boris studied in detail the pros and cons of a vaccine development strategy? Or did he just let someone more capable than him get on with it?

Leadership

Not leadership

It's only halfwits and flag-shaggers who are over partygate. Decent people who care about integrity and standards in public life aren't so you're in good company, OP. Ignore those who roll their eyes. Their opinion, on this at least, is literally worthless.

Completely agree.

We broke the rules in small ways, such as having one or two friends over when we weren't seeing anyone vulnerable for a while, because ultimately I chose my baby's development and own mental health. Perhaps that's why I'm not angry - because their rule breaking made total sense to me

The distinction being that you didn't force other people to observe the regulations. Your actions make sense to me too, but an essential part of that is you not being a hypocrite.

We did it because it's what the majority of people in the UK wanted.
So blame them/most people of mumsnet moaning now if you want to blame anyone.
People have short memories, hey. Don't you all remember the absolute screeching about how we needed to be even more strict. That came from all the people around you, your friends/neighbours/colleagues.

I am angry at the rules that were put in place - driven by sage and the media stirring up public fear. The rules were abhorrent and inhumane

yep. I hope we wouldn’t accept it again