Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset my friend hasn’t paid me ?

213 replies

Germanpandalover1987 · 02/06/2022 21:46

I’m a nanny for my friend’s little girl and she was due to pay me yesterday on the 1st but she hasn’t so I think she will pay me next Monday (because of the bank holidays+ weekend) and I’ll get zero apology for the lateness. I won’t ask her because I don’t want things to be awkward between us but I’m upset with her. Its not the first time she doesn’t pay me on time. Would you also be upset or just let it go because she is a friend ? Thank you

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 02/06/2022 21:48

She doesn't seem to mind upsetting you

Dominuse · 02/06/2022 21:49

Just text her and say hi x I’ve just checked and I’ve not been paid yet - it was due on the 1 st please can you sort it asap by bank transfer. Thanks

no biggie - this is on her not you

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 02/06/2022 21:49

I think if anything you need to be stricter with friends.

do you have a clear payment schedule?
text her now and ask about the payment.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 02/06/2022 21:49

Just send a message and say you have still not been paid despite it being the second and can she chase it ip with her bank.

EinsteinaGogo · 02/06/2022 21:52

That's awful, OP.

How formal is your job / arrangement?

ilovesooty · 02/06/2022 21:52

Well if you're not going to be assertive enough to ask why payment is late she's just going to mess you around isn't she?

Landlubber2019 · 02/06/2022 21:53

I would send a polite reminder, don't be afraid to ask for what you are owed!

Cocomelt · 02/06/2022 21:54

I run a business & I also have friends/family that purchase items & don't send payment when they're supposed to. I've learnt to just ask for it. They always always apologise & send it over straight away. So, in short, just drop her a message & ask her to send the payment over :)

Rogue1001MNer · 02/06/2022 21:55

Unfortunately, @ilovesooty is correct... the way cos work is to charm/scare you into not raising it

Original poster
Germanpandalover1987 · 02/06/2022 21:56

Thank you so much ! I will never work for a friend again. I hate feeling like that ! I’m going to text her and hope for the best. I’d never dare paying anyone late, I’d never make anyone ask for their salaries. At least, I’d be in touch and offer an explanation for the lateness and apologise profusely

OP posts:
DreamingofTimbuktu · 02/06/2022 21:57

Ask her now - she’s presumably got online banking and it should be with you in seconds

Original poster
Germanpandalover1987 · 02/06/2022 21:57

@EinsteinaGogo we have a contract in place

OP posts:
Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 02/06/2022 21:58

A bit of an overreaction on your behalf. It’s probably slipped her mind and she will be very embarrassed.

TheLadyDIdGood · 02/06/2022 22:00

Message her for the late payment and going forward don't mind her daughter again. If you are assertive enough you could issue her with a penalty fee for late payment.

I have a rule not to conduct business with or lend money to friends and family. It makes life much easier to manage and the boundaries are very clear.

EinsteinaGogo · 02/06/2022 22:01

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 02/06/2022 21:58

A bit of an overreaction on your behalf. It’s probably slipped her mind and she will be very embarrassed.

Eh?

An overreaction to not pay your employee???

Should OP tell her mortgage company or landlord that they are overreacting when she can't pay her rent?

LoudingVoice · 02/06/2022 22:02

Dominuse · 02/06/2022 21:49

Just text her and say hi x I’ve just checked and I’ve not been paid yet - it was due on the 1 st please can you sort it asap by bank transfer. Thanks

no biggie - this is on her not you

This! Just be as business like and factual as you would be with any client, don’t let itv drop or it’ll become more regular.

ilovesooty · 02/06/2022 22:02

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 02/06/2022 21:58

A bit of an overreaction on your behalf. It’s probably slipped her mind and she will be very embarrassed.

Why is it an overreaction? The OP might have DDs due to come out and she has every right to be upset not to be paid on time.

Anonnnnnnm · 02/06/2022 22:02

Don't do it anymore, or request payment in advance. It's that simple.

orwellwasright · 02/06/2022 22:03

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 02/06/2022 21:58

A bit of an overreaction on your behalf. It’s probably slipped her mind and she will be very embarrassed.

So the friend doesn't pay the OP, in fact has paid her late before but that's ok because it's 'just slipped her mind' and the OP is 'overreacting'?

You'd feel the same if you and your OH didn't get their salary each month would you? Not to worry! It's just slipped their mind!

MrsRinaDecker · 02/06/2022 22:03

Just send something like “can you check your bank, your payment isn’t showing on mine? Maybe something weird with the bank holiday or something! Thanks, OP x” I know what it’s like not to want a confrontation, but if you can give the person an out it can be helpful.

ElenaSt · 02/06/2022 22:04

You have provided a service for her and therefore she should pay you.

Does she hop into a cab and then get out and not pay the driver? No of course not.

Does she go round and do the shopping and then walk through the till at the supermarket without paying? No of course not.

You have cared for her child and require payment.

ellesbellesxxx · 02/06/2022 22:06

You say you don’t want any awkwardness but I think it’s more awkward that she hasn’t paid you?
I would definitely chase it x

Rogue1001MNer · 02/06/2022 22:09

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 02/06/2022 21:58

A bit of an overreaction on your behalf. It’s probably slipped her mind and she will be very embarrassed.

Can I be the first to ask if you are the friend?

Tidyupbuttercup · 02/06/2022 22:09

I voted yabu because why won’t you just message her!
come on, there’s no need for it to be awkward.
I haven’t been paid can you send it over by fast payment?

notanothertakeaway · 02/06/2022 22:13

Polite but firm is the way to go

I find people respect you more when you respect yourself