to be upset my friend hasn’t paid me ?

[Germanpandalover1987]

I’m a nanny for my friend’s little girl and she was due to pay me yesterday on the 1st but she hasn’t so I think she will pay me next Monday (because of the bank holidays+ weekend) and I’ll get zero apology for the lateness. I won’t ask her because I don’t want things to be awkward between us but I’m upset with her. Its not the first time she doesn’t pay me on time. Would you also be upset or just let it go because she is a friend ? Thank you

Meanwhile, in the real world...

🙄

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas

A bit of an overreaction on your behalf. It’s probably slipped her mind and she will be very embarrassed.

I can only assume you're speaking from a place of privilege and / or ignorance to think it's an overreaction to be pissed off someone hasn't paid your wages on time, repeatedly.

OP has bills to pay. Has direct debits and commitments. And this isn't a one off.

Please read the rest of the thread and see my next two comment on this.

Thanks for the advice regarding my post - I'm the cleaner - I will be doing as suggested because nothing else is working.

What does your nannying contract say? If it has late fees, start applying them. What does it say about repeated late paying? Do what your contract says you'll do.

She's either a cheeky f**ker or in financial difficulty. Neither of those are good for paying you. Get your money and get out.

Did she pay you ?

Not being assertive is not an excuse or explanation for someone else to 'mess you around'. It's very difficult to raise the subject of money with a friend, especially in the dual role of friend/employer.

My close friend does online language tutoring, she does a lesson a week for my eldest dd, when I asked he if she was able to I was VERY clear on my expectations, absolutely no mates rates, this is her living and if I ever forgot to pay her (which I have no intention of ever doing but I can be a ditzy mare) she is to tell me ASAP with no shame, its her living and i am paying for a service!!!!

You need to nip it in the bud otherwise they will continue with late payments as they know they can get away with it

To everyone who is saying this…if she processes it on the Wednesday, depending on the bank and method of the payment, plus the cut off times for processing, it could be that it is not processed until the next working day.

I work for a bank, and if I processed a payment to a customer after 7 on the 1st, they would not get it until the next working day

I didn’t say anything about it being an excuse, just that she might not know.

best option is to text and let her know it hasn’t come through, then you’ll find out what the issue is, or she may just process a transfer there and then, or go get cash from a machine

Do you often have things like that slip your mind. She's taking the he piss. Maybe it's time to give notice and not mix friendship and work again.in the meantime, send her a message asking for your pay.

most if not all employers pay early if payday falls on the weekend/bank holiday.
Definitely raise it with her.

on an unrelated note, @DenholmElliot1
I love your user name. Loved him in Bangkok Hilton.

My husband is semi retired now - takes the odd contracting job now and again. When he was working full time as a self employed person, he would check every month if people had paid. If they hadn't he'd telephone them up and ask why. If they failed to pay, he'd stop work for them till they did. Now some people are just too diffident but if there is any awkwardness it should belong to your friend who has deliberately not paid you. My husband's method meant that when one company went bust he was one of the few not to be hurt financially. They paid him because they knew he'd remind them and stop work if they didn't pay him. It is outrageous that your friend hasn't paid you - truly outrageous. I employed nannies for years and they were always paid on the dot. I was always conscious they had costs to meet.

I worked as a nanny and the best person to pay me was alm I had to do was text the bill and instant payment .You have bills to pay so she should and she couldn’t work unless you looked after her child .Just remind her

You´re definitely not being unreasonable!
You did a job for her. She needs to pay you.
That´s how all jobs should work.
It´s really bad that your friend is taking advantage of your friendship like this.
Same thing´s happened to me and I didn´t say anything for a long time, because I didn´t want to cause a confrontation.
As I got older, though, I developed this amazing quality. It´s called The Art of Not Giving a Shit.
If someone behaves unreasonably, friend or not, I´ll tell them. Politely, but I won´t let it rest.
Good luck getting what´s rightfully yours.

Set aside a few moments with her and say ‘ can we sort out an agreement about exactly which date you are going to pay me every month?’
you do not owe her any explanations but you could add that you need to know to organise when you r standing orders/ direct debits come out of your account.
Good luck. She’s taking the piss.

Thank you all ! I didn’t have the balls to say anything but will say something on Tuesday when I next see her !

I’d like to address the following message to everyone who may be concerned : Pay your employees on time, respect the contract you have signed, there are no excuses, none for not paying on time !

I would look for another job. This friend is taking advantage of you so shame on her.

I am a terrible person I admit it. I work full time. I have 4 kids living at home. My DH works loads outside the home and my lovely cleaner comes for 5 hours once a week. I wfh and if I have a minute while she is cleaning I make her a cuppa and pay her. Sometimes I don't have a minute .. and she will either make her own cuppa or go with out. She sees me sitting there on calls and typing away.
She sends me a reminder the next day.
I think I'm going to make it an automatic payment from now on.. 🙈

Definitely just set up a standing order, it makes sense for everyone involved.

I used to work as a childminder and had a late payment fee in my contract.

She should have paid you on time - bloody cheek. She wouldn’t like it if she wasn’t paid on time - I am a reg Childminder and this kind of behaviour is common place amongst my peers - people seem to think we don’t have direct debits or mortgages etc going out of our bank accounts and that it’s ok to pay when they feel
like it - ffs makes me mad!
tell your ‘friend’ you need payment on the 1st of each month - that is all !

All too often family and friends take advantage and don't seem to feel the need to pay on time. When you question irts always 'Well we're friends/family didn't think it mattered....'

Tell her the money hasn't hit your bank yet and like most people you have financial commitments that need to be met and failure to pay on time causes you issues. You need to make clear this is a business relationship and as such she needs to pay on time, and if she can't you stop being her nanny.

Seriously if that's how you treat your cleaner, you are a terrible person and lack empathy. Most cleaning ladies do it because they need the extra cash to make ends meet or because they can't get something better.