to be upset my friend hasn’t paid me ?

[Germanpandalover1987]

I’m a nanny for my friend’s little girl and she was due to pay me yesterday on the 1st but she hasn’t so I think she will pay me next Monday (because of the bank holidays+ weekend) and I’ll get zero apology for the lateness. I won’t ask her because I don’t want things to be awkward between us but I’m upset with her. Its not the first time she doesn’t pay me on time. Would you also be upset or just let it go because she is a friend ? Thank you

When bank holidays happen, employers always pay early, not late. It is up to them to spit a bank holiday coming up and ensure their workers have been paid on time or early if that’s what’s required to make it happen.

Late salary means that when Direct debits start going out, people can go overdrawn and incur difficulty or charges.

Working for friends is always difficult. You have to stay professional when discussing contracts and pay etc and separate these issues from friendship.

To those telling OP to chill, this isn’t a £10 loan the friend had from her and is late replaying. This is her salary which she depends on to meet month,y living requirements. It’s not acceptable.

I would email the friend with a short and formal message saying your salary hasn’t arrived, so you’d appreciate an immediate transfer as your direct debits will be leaving the account on Monday and you don’t want to incur charges. At the same time, include a sentence asking that whenever bank holidays fall at the end of the month and could make payment late, you’d appreciate payment in the day before as is standard with employers, so this doesn’t happen again.

If you do t feel comfortable sending this message, it’s not working fir you to be employed by your friend. It’s vital to be able to communicate simply and factually and to not have blurred coundaries. of course your friend is wrong to out you in this position. Would she do this to someone who she employed who wasn’t a friend? Possibly. She’s not a good employer.

@SmartieRants that is definitely becoming more the option I'm leaning too now, I just need the payment as it's a good chunk of money.its been two weeks since I sent the invoice, so seven days over due. I don't know how many more times I can say can you please send the payment that's due, without sounding like I'm begging - luckily I don't have DD going out on a certain day but that'll be included in my next message to her. I am trying to avoid driving over there with a print out as it's a 25 minndrive and not sure if that'd come across as full on.

To the poster who is a cleaner and who hasn’t been paid, I would email and if that’s not possible, drop a wittten letter to them next time you attend.

’Thank you for your custom. Can I please remind you of the terms of payment, because there have been some delays in payment over the last weeks. It is vital that I am paid on time, as like other people, I have direct debits leaving my account on set days and require my salary in time. ‘ Follow this with your payment terms or if necessary adjust them if required.

Things you could consider are payment in advance or saying that if payment isn’t received within 48 hours of the work being done, an additional £5 charge will be added for each day.

Finish by saying that you appreciate their custom, but hope they understand how important it is that your invoices are paid on time.

I run a little housekeeping business and have been really shocked at how many people are happy to take a service but not to pay for it. I issue invoices with clear payment terms and still have to chase for payments. One client recently took six weeks to pay, and only did once I finally added a late payment charge and threatened further action if she didn’t pay.

I hate chasing for payments, it takes time and energy and it makes me feel uncomfortable, and ultimately I shouldn’t have to. I’d I were you OP I’d feel shitty, like you don’t matter to your friend. Just get the text sent - ‘Hi x, sorry to message on a bank holiday but would you mind sorting my wages please?’

@starlingdarling

"OP check your tax and national insurance is being paid. Missing NI contributions could affect your entitlement to benefits and the state pension so it's not something you want to ignore, even if it's her responsibility."

Op once you sort this pay please check on government gateway she's not forgetting her responsibility as an employer . As @starlingdarling it could affect you long term

I really wouldn't worry about being full on.
Embrace it.

CF's behave like this.

Look at replacing them and then drop.

Late payment being the reason.

You need to separate out the friend and the employer. Definitely follow up for immediate payment, just as you would of it was a company employing you.

? What criteria? I know a couple of nannies who are self employed. It's not a complicated concept.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas

Are you the friend?

How do you get to this level of entitlement? Like, honestly, please tell us.

OP has provided a service. She should be paid for it.
@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas do you do me this in restaurants? Supermarkets? I think not.

I am wondering if she is also guilt-tripping you @Germanpandalover1987. Telling you how much her DC loves you and how relieved she is to have someone she trusts with their care, etc… Letting you know that you are family, blah blah… People like this often dangle people and pretend that they’re “sensitive” when confronted with bad behaviour.

If you read the thread you would see that’s not what I meant. Please read my other post.

If she is paying you the payment needs to be on time like any other business arrangement. Send her a polite text reminding her that you need to be paid.m Its cheeky. I'd be looking to get out of this contract.

@LimpBiskit
Are they nannies or childminders. Most nannies don't meet self employed status .

Is it set up as a direct debit/recurring payment? If so it will probably appear on Monday as payments don't tend to show on weekends and bank holidays.

Even if she did send it yesterday manually, it might not show up until Monday for the same reason.

Talk to her! It's all you can do.

to be classed as self employed you need to meet certain criteria. one criteria is that you decide what work needs to be done and decide the hours worked (not the employer) there is also a right of substitution e.g you can send someone else to sub in for you. as a pp said it’s unlikely anyone would agree to those conditions for a nanny and without that and other conditions they couldn’t be classed as self employed by hmrc.

“can you check your bank, your payment isn’t showing on mine? Maybe something weird with the bank holiday or something! Thanks, OP x”

for OP and the cleaner above who also hasn't bee paid, don't write wishy-washy passive messages like this.

Just say: I haven't received my payment. Our agreement is that your payment is on my account on x date. In this case i am applying a late fee of X (% or flatrate) which must be paid by x date.

That's it. No "sorry" certainly no "x" and no reasons why you need to be paid like bills. It is absolutely none of their concern if you want to go to the bank and withdraw the payment in 5p pieces so you can roll around in them in the bath. They owe you money and you must be businesslike.

Although in the cleaner's case I'd be tempted to say "money by end of today or I'm coming round to trail muddy footprints through your house"

@Fraaahnces how do you know ?? 🤣

Just message her and politely remind her. You don’t need to wait till Monday as money can be transferred in an instant online. It’s not like she’s a big company that is sending large amounts of money that can take 3 working days.

I won’t ask her because I don’t want things to be awkward between us

YABU. Being a wet lettuce is expensive. Your choice.

When she pays message back "thanks, sorry to chase but I need the money on the 1st as I have direct debits going out 😬 knowing what the banks can be like can you please set up a standing order as lve been drafting a late payment contract which will come into effect next month and I'd hate for you to be stung!"

If this continues to happen it will sour your friendship. You need to let her know you’re not putting up with it

I’d have loved to see my employees reactions if it slipped my mind to pay them.

OP, text her. Bank Holidays mean nothing now as you can pay via Apps 24/7.

She wouldn't be okay with you turning up late to nanny her child so you shouldn't be expected to be okay with being paid late.

Just ask her, pay for the 1st but o haven’t received it has it been sent???
grow up and ask instead of moaning on heresy

Meanwhile, in the real world...

🙄