to be upset my friend hasn’t paid me ?

[Germanpandalover1987]

I’m a nanny for my friend’s little girl and she was due to pay me yesterday on the 1st but she hasn’t so I think she will pay me next Monday (because of the bank holidays+ weekend) and I’ll get zero apology for the lateness. I won’t ask her because I don’t want things to be awkward between us but I’m upset with her. Its not the first time she doesn’t pay me on time. Would you also be upset or just let it go because she is a friend ? Thank you

She may be self employed.

But you shouldn't have to remind your employer to pay you, just like employers don't have to remind their employees to turn up for work. It just happens.

I don't see the point of all the angst. She's your friend. Just phone her and tell her you haven't been paid and ask her to sort it out.

There could be all manner of reasons such as she forgot, which would be solved by a standing order if you get paid the same amount on the same day.

Or if not, she needs to organise herself better and use reminders. It's inexcusable for an employer to not pay people the right amount, on time.

Or it could be a bank issue and she might not be aware, so she'll be able to get into it with the bank.

I'm having a similar problem, except we aren't friends. I'm a self employed cleaner and this one client hasn't paid me. This is the third month I've been going and last month there was an issue, but not as late as this and she asked me to invoice her husband instead as she just forwards the email and he pays. I have a strict pay within seven days of receiving the invoice policy, on day seven I contacted her. Took two days for a reply. She said he had been working away for a week and it was the first day that theyd spent together as a family, he checked email hadnt received it, checked junk after I suggested nothing..another two days to reply to my request to resend his email to make sure it was correct, it was, resent, attached invoice into the what's app conversation, nothing, no reply. Have sent another message asking for payment, again no reply or payment.
I've tried ringing, it doesn't get answered - they are in the middle of nowhere and signal dodgy but I have tried. She'll come up with an excuse, she's very flakey, polite, but arrgh, just pay the bill!! I'm taking a print out of the next one, and then applying a late fee I think.

Nannies rarely meet the criteria for self employed and almost no parents would accept a nanny who does.

That’s outrageous, how disrespectful to you to have to keep chasing them.

What’s the cleaner job market like around you? I would ditch these clients if at all possible. Far too stressful.

YANBU!

I would make it clear that it’s essential you get paid on time i.e the 1st of every month, as you have DD that go out at the same time.

I would feel awkward too as it’s a friend but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and make things clear, although surely your contract should have already been clear enough for her!

Hope you get sorted and apologies if this thread has moved on, I haven’t RTTHT yet.

Donotgogentle yes it's getting to that point, I was trying to keep things polite etc as she's the friend of another customer so it'd be awkward but now I don't care, I just want the payment, it's a good earner as well, so I'd miss it, bit yes there's a lot of need for cleaners round here so I'd soon fill the gap

I'd try and replace her slot and then ditch her, totally disrespectful.

I was mortified when I forgot to pay my nanny once, I paid her early this month as was worried that I might forget due to holidays.

In your shoes I would send her a business like message asking when you will be paid.

Would you say that if you didn't get paid when you were supposed to?

Could just be a bank problem because of bank holiday, I have a s/o go out weekly on Thursday , it didn’t go yesterday and was scheduled for Monday presumably because of b/h. I ended up having to cancel s/o and do a bank transfer. Although 1st was Wednesday so maybe not that.

Employers will pay before a bank holiday if the timing lands that way, not after. You still have bills to pay, food to buy etc. Life doesn’t pause. You need to get your money off her, and a formal agreement in place to protect you from being taken for a mug.

I wouldn't be upset, and I wouldn't let it go for fear of upsetting her. I'd act like a professional and tell them my wages need to be paid on time every time and if not I will not be workign for them anymore.

I'm with everyone else. A polite but firm message.
"Just checking my payment has been sent as I can't see it in my bank account?"
Not paying on time is a complete disregard for you.

This is why I never work for friends or family, too easy for them to take advantage!

She should be embarrassed and pay her employee on time. You, the employee, should speak up. She's doing this because she can get away with it. You don't want to say anything because of the friendship, but she isn't acting like a friend, is she? She's a cheeky fucker at best.

Baffling how you could come on Mumsnet and write four posts yet couldn’t send a simple text - ‘Hey x, something seems to have gone amiss with my pay going through, not sure whose end the technical gremlins are at but can’t see any obvious issues at mine. Could you try and push it through again please and sms so I can look out and I will confirm it’s been received. Thx and have a great weekend’.

I couldn’t imagine anything less awkward or friendship limiting and find it quite worrying that you have sole responsibility for kids and can’t manage something so simple to be frank. Realise that sounds harsh but it’s true.

The fact that it's not the first time is the issue here. We can all be forgetful / miss a reminder, but it should be a very rare occurrence.

examples: once I forgot to pay my cleaner (not sure what happened, just went out my head) - she sent me a message saying I hadn't paid this week and I paid immediately, and haven't forgotten since in the 3 years I pay her weekly.

Once our childminder (who's a very good friend now) didn't get paid as there was some issue with the childcare vouchers but didn't say anything for about 2 weeks.. as soon as she mentioned it, we paid with major apology and strict instructions that if it ever happened again to please say something the next day because it would never be intentional (once in 6 years).

Both know that we pay on time 99.99% of the time, so if they don't get paid, they should say something because something isn't right and there is an error somewhere.

If it was a one off, then things happen (even with PAYE employers there can be occasional errors), the fact that it's not the first time means that you need to take steps to address it. It's uncomfortable, but so is not being able to pay your bills or buy food..

I agree with anyone who has said that you need the money because your structured payments like DDs won't wait because your employer hasn't paid you.

I hope that the money is transferred very quickly and you don't end up moving into overdrafts etc. over this.

Imagine you didn't show for work on the expected day.

Text her now op.

In all honesty, I think you are both being unreasonable. She certainly should pay you on time, without a doubt. And if the childcare you provide is regular then setting up a standing order to pay it ought to be obvious - then it doesn't need to be remembered. That said, some people are just awful at remembering stuff, even important stuff. And it may seem stupid, but these days remembering what day of the month it is can be a challenge with all the auto-fill stuff around. I wouldn't excuse the not paying - but there can be reasons why someone is simply scatty about such stuff.

But you are also being unreasonable. She's done this before, and this is a business transaction, not a "friends" thing. You could have been more asserive in the past about missed payments. You could insist on automated payments being set up. You could send payment reminder texts a few days before payment is due. Or just be more business like generally. So I think you have to shoulder the responsibility for being lax in your business dealings with her.

I'd call it 50/50 - you both need to up your game.

Golden rule number one: never ever mix business and friendship/family. It doesn't work. You need to tell her she pays you as agrees or she finds alternative childcare. Either way the friendship is on it's arse because of the way she's treating you, so don't be overly concerned if you don't speak to her again.

Does she pay you directly ( run her own payroll ), or via a payroll service ( nanny pay ect )
If it direct I would be considered she's also forgetting to pay you tax ,NI as well

This would be my worry too. OP check your tax and national insurance is being paid. Missing NI contributions could affect your entitlement to benefits and the state pension so it's not something you want to ignore, even if it's her responsibility.

What’s happened OP?
what did you do in the end and did she pay up?