Is DH being unrealistic...when are kids most expensive??

[Keha]

Having a big debate with DH. He thinks we should move to a more expensive house in next couple if years. Currently have DD aged 2 and am 30 weeks pregnant. Things would be tight financially, but DH reckons it will be much easier financially once kids are in school/getting 30 hours nursery. In his words "they'll never be as expensive as they are now".

I think he is being unrealistic. Yes nursery is a lot, or in our case we both work part time to provide child care so our income is reduced. But even at school surely we'll spend a fortune on wrap around care, activities, hobbies etc. And as they get older they'll eat more, want more. We've just come back from our first proper family holiday and it was eye opening looking at entry prices for older kids etc. I don't want to be scraping by for the next 20 years to have a slightly bigger house.

So who is right? When were you kids the most expensive? Pre school? Primary? Teenagers??

(For context, our jobs are such that we don't expect huge increases in salary over the years)

my DD is 9, so far much more expensive now, but childcare when tiny can be expensive too.

Teenagers are the most expensive

They're always expensive!

0-4 you've got nursery
5-11 you've got wraparound/holiday childcare
12-18 you've got tech/clothes/school trips/pocket money/more expensive to take on holiday

Oooooh he’s in for a shock!

Nursery age and Uni age. But once school age you’ll have holiday care, wrap around and activities it’s not as big saving v nursery as you think.

Childcare costs go down as they get older but all other costs go up.

Clubs, uniforms, expensive toys, clothes and shoes, birthday parties, days out, holidays and so on it never ends. By teenage years they want tech and gadgets and then late teens there are uni fees, rent, etc.

I know everything does cost more as they get bigger, and teenagers eat a lot, but surely they will never cost me the £1k a month I paid in nursery fees? Every month? Mine are 9 and 7 now and definitely cheaper than the nursery years.

Nursery hideously expensive (two in p/t at the same time)

Primary school much cheaper but after school clubs, fairs, collections etc add up

Secondary school uniform dear in Y7 but it lasts and apart from odd school trip and money for food if needed, all clubs free

University monthly allowance to top up living fees but still much, much cheaper than nursery years!

Teenagers are insanely expensive. If he thinks they cost a lot now, he’ll have a conniption round about 2034!

In my experience friends who found them to get more and more expensive had relatively small childcare fees (family help/break from work etc).
My toddler costs £1150pcm in childcare and activities (1)
My 5 year old costs around £200pcm in childcare and activities (3)
It makes a massive difference. You can choose not to spend loads on various clubs/shoes etc. childcare is non negotiable.

Teenagers are an expensive species. So I’d say teens in what THEY actually cost. They eat more, wear adult clothes and shoes, have expensive hobbies and have to pay adult prices for days out holidays etc.

but childcare for tinies is extortionate. Littles kids are cheap so long as you don’t need to fork out for too much childcare.

Driving lessons, young driver insurance, uni, house deposits, weddings.. What they cost depends on what you intend to fund.. Mine are still expensive as young adults but that is because I didn't gav

Fat fingers! Didn't have the money to spend when they were younger so doing it now.

So we don't pay for nursery because by working part time and some help from GP we don't need it. But we are down £1000 a month by being part time. I reckon this is less than the cost of full time nursery. We will go full time once they are at school.

I'm not being mad to think that £1000 will be swallowed up with wrap around care, activities etc when they are at school? (I appreciate I can't account for inflation, costs of living etc as don't know what they'll be)

Teenagers are most expensive for sure

When they learn to drive!

From what I can gather from my own experience and my needs and wants growing up they only get more expensive as the years go by.

My teenage DS's eat about half a supermarket every day. Teenagers are the most expensive. Yes, you don't have childcare but instead you have sports kit and footwear, trips, activities, allowance, tech, plus no more hand me downs as younger one now bigger than older one!

@Keha in your case possibly it will get swallowed up to an extent. It could be worse- I work 4 days so around £600/month down then pay £1200 for 2 kids childcare 4 days! We will definitely see a difference when they start school especially as I can up my hours.

I was paying £1500 a month for nursery when they both under 3, more than twice the cost of the mortgage. That's when they were most expensive.

It depends how much you need. To put them in a school breakfast and after school club probably wouldn’t cost anywhere near that (it wouldn’t at my dds primary anyway). Little kids don’t need to do loads of activities a couple each is plenty. They vary in price, anywhere between about £30 and £100 per term.

if you’re paying a childminder it might be more. Never had one so don’t know.

I think teenagers are still more expensive. Dd1 is 17 and is costing me more than ever.

We are still funding our young adults. By the end of this year one should be working as a teacher, one might be working Year after that. Another two at Uni.
it just gets worse

If you are both full time when school age so you’ll need wrap around breakfast and evening plus a lot of the school holidays. If you need the 8-6 holiday care it’s £30 a day here. Plus hobbies, Swimming lessons etc. He’ll be able to check prices eg aftercare provider should be on school website.

Teenagers and university living costs

Nursery bill £1,150 per month. So.. £13,700 per year? Plus clothes, toys etc.

I'm pretty certain that is the peak!

But if you don't pay for childcare then yeah they will get more expensive over time for the reasons pp have given 😂