Is DH being unrealistic...when are kids most expensive??

[Keha]

Having a big debate with DH. He thinks we should move to a more expensive house in next couple if years. Currently have DD aged 2 and am 30 weeks pregnant. Things would be tight financially, but DH reckons it will be much easier financially once kids are in school/getting 30 hours nursery. In his words "they'll never be as expensive as they are now".

I think he is being unrealistic. Yes nursery is a lot, or in our case we both work part time to provide child care so our income is reduced. But even at school surely we'll spend a fortune on wrap around care, activities, hobbies etc. And as they get older they'll eat more, want more. We've just come back from our first proper family holiday and it was eye opening looking at entry prices for older kids etc. I don't want to be scraping by for the next 20 years to have a slightly bigger house.

So who is right? When were you kids the most expensive? Pre school? Primary? Teenagers??

(For context, our jobs are such that we don't expect huge increases in salary over the years)

No comments on the independent figures found online then?
Plenty of sources like that it’s not just that one.

They are always expensive and the University stage is incredibly expensive if your income is such that you are only entitled to the minimum support.
If you are able to trade-up to something approaching your 'forever home', then it may well be worth doing it asap, so long as it does not make you feel financially insecure to do so. I think mortgage rates are only going in one direction from now on and it isn't down.
If your current house adequately meets your needs, then it may be worth staying put for the peace of mind and extra disposal income.

I couldn't find the article you posted the image from and what I did find didn't agree, e.g. this from the Guardian which says university years is the most expensive but that after that it's preschool, not earlier in the teens: www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/feb/16/cost-of-raising-children-in-uk-higher-than-ever

It was the times, but the source of the figure is at the bottom of the table.

For so many younger kids parents direct their choices. My own children would have stayed home. Obviously I'm talking about what you can influence.

Plus of course not every child can do what they wish to. Just as pursuing horse riding is out of reach for most, dance can be just too much for some families.

Your article is 6 years old!
The data from the source I provided is from this year.

And of course all mums are wrong too 😂😂

Mums *here

We can't spend the childcare vouchers we've saved up (primary age). DD does football and swimming, Beavers, DS does Cubs, 1:1 swimming but only in the holidays.
Compare that to the year before DS got his 30 hours but they were both in nursery 3 days a week!

Teenagers (from 13 onwards) to young adult.

(I can't see DD getting into football enough for it to be expensive! But I suppose school trips might be at some point.)

Childcare is so expensive, and there's not really a choice if you have to/want to work.
Other than that, small children are fairly cheap in that they can have second stuff and their expectations are entirely set by you, so not buying food and drinks when you are out, passing down clothes and toys, doing mainly free outings, all that is easy when they are little. With teenagers, their wants are more expensive and more specific..phones, tech etc.
Holidays and outings are much more expensive with older DC, but those are optional. You may need a bigger car, depending on size and number of teens - 3 6-footers in the back of a Clio doesn't really work that well!
Also older DC probably won't be happy with all their stuff coming from boot sales and charity shops, although I do know plenty of teens who are happy to rummage, and of course once they are old enough to care, they are old enough to find a job to pay for some of it.
School trips can be expensive - eg skiing ( state comp)for DS3 some years ago was almost 1k but you don't have to go, and you are only paying for one, as opposed to the whole family. We would never be able to afford for the whole family to go, btw.
So optional costs can be extortionate with teens, but still not as much as childcare for preschoolers. HTH

Of course they cost the most now. Presuming you'll be on maternity pay and then have childcare costs?
At least as teenagers you can work more and you won't be paying circa £60 a day EACH for childcare
Mine are 3 and 4 and paying for two in nursery costs over a grand a month.

Teenagers

This seems like a niche thing - how many teenagers are good enough at dance or similar to have a real shot at making it professionally? Compared with the number of toddlers in nursery, not many.

To be honest, I would not encourage my kids to pursue something like that unless they were really extraordinary at it, it doesn't seem like a sensible move Vs having hobbies and focussing on schoolwork

I think nursery is a particularly expensive time. Childcare before and after school is cheap as chips in comparison. My two are 12 and 14 so no childcare costs. Things like clothes and trainers are more including more complicated school uniform. Obviously they have more tech but even then probably less expensive than full time nursery. Some hobbies are expensive but that's more discretionary anyway.

I’m sorry that you interpreted my comment about the bolognese as snide, it wasn’t intended to be at all

Thanks @RedGazelle

Teenagers I’d say, but then they can also earn money themselves as teenagers, so that helps.

Don’t forget the huge nursery fees are only from age 1-3 (assuming maternity leave taken and 3 year funding kicking in ) so in total for the first 5 years it’s probably less than 5 of the teen years if that makes sense.