Is Best Friend ignoring me 🤔

[Safarigiraffe]

Hi I have a best friend whom I’ve been friends with for years now however lately past 3 months she ignores me as in leaves me on read & will reply back 2-3 days later saying she was busy & when I’ve said to meet up (always me that initiates the meet ups never has been her) she always says she’s working or let’s me down last min on the actual day - could this be the end of our friendship? Not sure how to address this with her as I really do want to bring this to her attention without her thinking I’m being clingy if that makes sense

Just told her exactly how I feel (basically what I’ve said here) so will see what if anything she will say

And if she doesn’t just delete her please.

Blueberry6 - I def will if she doesn’t this is her final chance now to let me know & I be able to tell if she wants to continue our friendship

So far I’ve just got a hello out of her 🤷‍♀️ Maybe she’s thinking of what to say or she may say something I don’t want to hear who knows 🤷‍♀️

What did you actually write in your message to her?

Basically just told her how I feel about our best friend friendship of many years being one sided where I message, leaves me on read for days on end & she don’t message me back & basically how I feel about that more or less what I said here

Wow, you are scary. You need blocking. I feel sorry for your friend. You obviously are unable to read social cues so I'm here to make it easy for you.. she is not interested. Leave her alone. But you carry on. Ignore all of us who have told you that and cling on to those who agree. I actually think you're a troll now and we are all feeding you. So I'm done. Good luck to your friend.. she's gonna need it.

So you just ignored pretty much every single bit of advice on here to relax and stop constantly trying to psychoanalyse your friend or send her any more messages related to her not messaging you.

Please hang back op.

Even if your friend wasn't annoyed with you before she very likely will be now.

Sit down and breathe.

You sound more intense than most relationships. The answer is obvious. You are more invested in the relationship than her and have more time on your hands. Are you trying to end this friendship? Friendships don't have to be all or nothing. You sound very needy.

You need to stop messaging her. You do sound quite intense! I think she's sending you the odd message to keep your friendship on life support in case her other friends don't work out. Sorry - I know that sounds harsh, but it's time to make some new friends.

Have you taken anything away from this thread at all? Almost everyone has said to leave her alone - she’s made it very clear that she doesn’t see you as her best friend.

She’s told you it’s too much hasn’t she?

No she hasn’t said it’s too much however what she has said is she knows it’s a one sided friendship & she will do her best to keep in regular contact like she did before however I’m not convinced

What more do you want from her.
she said she’d try and has acknowledged she hasn’t been as active in the friendship as you.

if you want accept that she will try then what is the point.

just block her and move on.

I had sympathy initially but now your just seeming more and more unreasonable.

If you’re not happy with the level of friendship she can give you then end the friendship. What you can’t do is force her to give her more attention than she wants to (and even if you could, you’d know she’d only be doing it not because she wanted to, but because you’ve forced her to do so. It wouldn’t last and quite frankly, if you have to beg for someone’s attention, do you really want it anyway?)

You need to just leave it now and see how much effort she puts in but FGS, try and find some other friends to put energy into as you’re coming across as creepily obsessed with this friend. I also find it concerning you’ve mentioned a husband and daughter, you sound very young. Usually, by the time someone has got into their 30’s they know when someone is being a shite friend and have more self respect and boundaries than when they were in their teens and 20’s and will just accept and move on from these situations even though they really, really hurt and are sad and shit at the time (because it is, I know) as we realise we can’t force people to want to be close to us.

please just back off now and go and fill your time with something else.

Is this a romantic relationship?

Otherwise this is mental. I've known my best friend for over 20 years and there are periods when I don't message her back (because I have other things to do/don't feel like it). So what?!? Doesn't mean she's not my closest friend. If she was pestering me about how I feel about our friendship 🙄I would think she lost the plot. Our friendship is effortless and easy and we don't have to discuss the status of our friendship if I don't immediately respond to her messages.

OP you are fixated on this friend. It’s overbearing and intense.

I have read through your updates and can almost feel your frustration that your friend won’t be who you want her to be.

you need to let this go. If that is very difficult for you, if this need to text constantly is something you can’t shake, I think it would help if you talked to someone about your feelings. Before this spins further out of control

This is fucked up...sorry but it is. You are like a dog with a bone, I would have binned your ass weeks ago.

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW YOU....SHE DOESN'T CARE....SHE WANTS OUT.

Now other than painting this on a very large white sheet and erecting it in your bloody front garden, what is going to make you stop.

Seek some counselling because this is NOT normal. Pages and pages and pages of people telling you to reel it in and you still messaging her demanding answers. It's weird, it's obsessive and it is downright harassment.

I take my hat off to her that she has not lost her temper with you......although maybe she is scared. I would be if i had this person baraging me with messages and not taking no for an answer.

Like something off the true Movie channel.

Stop it.

Update - Best friend messaged me today saying that its not a one sided friendship, I don’t know the real her & if I don’t want to message her she understands & it be very sad if I do decide that as we have been best friends for years but she’s leaving that up to me. So basically what I think she wants is out from what she’s said.

She did say she wants to meet up to talk this out more with me in person as well & just to meet up in general

So she’s basically gaslighted you about how she’s been acting and is now setting it up so she appears blameless wgeb the friendship ends. She’s a peach.

DaffodilGreen - Basically yes

Friendship is 2 ways and I would think that I am the one trying my best to maintain this friendship while she’s taking a step back as my best friend while I put in the effort so as much as my trying may be too much she needs to maybe put her part in this as well

Maybe she's going through a hard time? Why does it need to be "all or nothing"? Sometimes life gets in the way or people feel down and don't want to message/meet up. Doesn't meet you have to end it all so dramatically.

If it's not a romantic relationship, I honestly think posters on this thread are inventing drama that may not be there at all.

My best friend of over 20 years messaged me today a voice note and I was in the middle of trying to transport my daughter, her friends and our horse from one yard to another after a competition. It was super stressful and I didn't have time to listen to the voice note there and then and then forgot about it until now. It doesn't at all mean I don't love my best friend. It wasn't at all personal. I was just busy doing something else