Is this rude?

[Ritascornershop]

My family is staying with me. They eat meat at every meal, I’m vegetarian. I said it’s fine that they cook meat (though the smell really bothers me but I act like it’s fine). Last night I made dinner for us with veggie “meat”. My son-in-law, who is a wonderful person, ate everything but the protein. And then went out and ordered a meat pizza.

He just doesn’t like the taste of fake meat (whereas I don’t eat meat for ethical reasons). I was taught to eat what’s in front of you. My mum was a terrible cook but I had to eat her food 3 times a day for 18 years. I’m a pretty good cook, I’ve taught cooking, took cooking classes for years, I have a real interest in it. Should he have eaten the whole curry?

I’m glad my daughter married him, just wondering if thinking on this has changed. I ate a lot of my mother-in-law’s good that I found pretty weird (crisps crumbled on top of spag bog was one) as I didn’t want to offend.

@Ritascornershop I'm a carnivore and would rather eat a full vegan diet 7 days a week than touch Quorn or tofu. I quite liked M&S soya chili con carne (although it seems to have been discontinued) so maybe the curry would have gone down well with me.

I don't think many, if any, people expect every meal to be "amazing". But they do expect it to be edible in the sense of not having to close your eyes and think of England with each mouthful. And they do expect it to be filling. Which apparently this one wasn't.

To me it’s rude but my fussy kids would probably leave it too. My younger two. My oldest wouldn’t. But yes it is rude

Obviously they did not eat meat in the brief period they tried being vegetarian, but now that’s not the case. They tried being veggie about 5 years ago.

Who has said they won't eat some meat free meals? I imagine if the OP had served up margarita pizza, macaroni cheese etc the guests probably wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

I understood (or misunderstood) this from the first line in the OP's first post.

I understood that as meaning they choose to eat meat at every meal (when they are cooking/eating out etc). Not that they would refuse any meal served up to them that was vegetarian. That would be a bit odd, since the OP said they were vegetarian for a while.

There are dishes which don't contain meat which are commonly eaten by non-vegetarians and wouldn't really register with most people as a deliberately vegetariandush (like the examples I gave). Tofu and Quorn are at the other end of the scale imo - in that very few non-vegetarians would choose to eat them.

Actually that's probably not true about tofu, is it? There are lots if people who love tofu for some reason. But it's prtrue of lots of fake meat products.

• probably true

A vegetarian diet incorporates every single food item with the exception of meat and fish so unless someone only ever eats meat and fish its ridiculous to say they don't like vegetarian food. (Vegan is much harder, granted, as to get your food groups you have to include specific things some people don't like) If you steer away from substitute foods, which I don't like either, there is no need for meat eating guests to struggle to eat foods they enjoy, or go hungry in a vegetarian household.

Maybe they’d eat a meal without meat, but I haven’t seen it happen.

But they ate your veggie curry, just not the fake meat? That, and them being former veggies, make it pretty obvious they will eat veggie food.

No, it doesn’t. They eat vegetables, but they’ve now decided they won’t eat any plant-based protein. I didn’t know this when I made dinner, I’ve since found out. They feel that eating meat at every meal is required for their health (& he doesn’t like any vegetarian protein, including lentils - excluding nuts I suppose, but I doubt he’d be into a nut burger).

They once wanted to try being vegetarianism but it didn’t take and they’ve now swung the other way.

Well that’s their preference, now you know 🤷🏻‍♀️. At least you won’t keep making him meals with fake meat for him to either force down or reject.
When they leave you won’t have to worry about it again.

Bloody hell, you need to stop focussing on their diet! They have different choices to you, the same weighting, but if you go to their home and don't want meat, then make sure you cook them something they'd like when you come to them - be the bigger person, ask what they'd like to eat and be decent and make that, vegetarian yes, that's fine, but something they'd actually like (it's not a secret fake meat is shite)... save all this bloody drama that I'm wondering whether you're not actually causing this maelstrom yourself to act like the bigger person ... you're not, be reasonable and thoughtful of other peoples preferences - there are plenty of things that fuck up our planet, being vegetarian isn't the pinnacle - they may do more in other ways than you do, be a good person

I think that’s so rude!

how the fuck can it not be?

if he wasn’t going to eat it he should have told you in advance

he also sounds quite greedy/gluttonous to order a pizza to himself after eating a full curry (minus the meat substitute). He’s basically eating one meal straight after eating another.

@LuckySantangelo35 I don't think he knew that OP was using fake meat because she didn't check with them if they liked it ( because omnivores must eat everything- right?).

I agree getting the pizza was rude, not sure it was greedy as a curry sauce and rice without the fake meat isn't going to be that calorific or filling.

And it’s not normal either op despite what previous posters have said

. Mumsnetters tend to be obsessed with protein especially meat and think you have to eat it every meal

@rookiemere

it absolutely will be calorific!

The calories in curry don’t come from the meat, they come from the rich, creamy sauces. He will have eaten that along with veg and rice. And any additionals such as naan bread, etc. All he won’t have had which he will usually have had in a curry is a few chunks of meat.

He didn’t like one element of the meal. Happens to everyone whether they are omnivores or vegetarians or vegans. When it does happen when someone is hosting me for a meal I do think they are a bad host or weird or something like that. The man was not starving. He could eat all elements of the meal bar one.

He really, really didn’t need a takeaway pizza after, it’s just greed. plain and simple. And rudeness as well. Takes a lot of brass neck to do what he did

How can anyone else decide he was or wasn't hungry.

My mum serves tiny portions so if I'd only had the rice and 1/4 of a naan I'd still be hungry.
Mind you my mum would say I'm greedy!