Is this rude?

[Ritascornershop]

My family is staying with me. They eat meat at every meal, I’m vegetarian. I said it’s fine that they cook meat (though the smell really bothers me but I act like it’s fine). Last night I made dinner for us with veggie “meat”. My son-in-law, who is a wonderful person, ate everything but the protein. And then went out and ordered a meat pizza.

He just doesn’t like the taste of fake meat (whereas I don’t eat meat for ethical reasons). I was taught to eat what’s in front of you. My mum was a terrible cook but I had to eat her food 3 times a day for 18 years. I’m a pretty good cook, I’ve taught cooking, took cooking classes for years, I have a real interest in it. Should he have eaten the whole curry?

I’m glad my daughter married him, just wondering if thinking on this has changed. I ate a lot of my mother-in-law’s good that I found pretty weird (crisps crumbled on top of spag bog was one) as I didn’t want to offend.

My apologies 🤣

And I find all this talk of tofu being “disgusting” and “gross” and “slimy” both puzzling (it barely has a taste and soaks up whatever flavours we add to it) and racist. I thought we’d gotten past calling Asian food disgusting, but I guess not.

You’re being ridiculous now. People disliking ONE food does not mean they dislike all Asian food and certainly doesn’t make them racist - any more than disliking a particular Asian person means they hate Asian people.

And I find all this talk of tofu being “disgusting” and “gross” and “slimy” both puzzling (it barely has a taste and soaks up whatever flavours we add to it) and racist. I thought we’d gotten past calling Asian food disgusting, but I guess not.

What a ridiculous comment. Nobody said Asian food was disgusting. They said tofu was. The idea that disliking one food is racist is absurd. I love lots of Asian food. I tried to like tofu, but nope. It's horrible. Even disliking a particular national cuisine in general isn't racist fgs.

Well this thread is a bit bonkers! Racist for not liking tofu? I've heard it all now. I've never tried tofu. Not sure I want to after this thread.

Anyway. @Ritascornershop why does the fact it doesn't make it gag mean he should eat it? Spam doesn't make me gag but if someone served me it for dinner I wouldn't eat it.

It turns out some meat eaters think it’s just a passing thought, not a big deal to vegetarians and vegans, something they’re doing for a laugh or to pass the time. I’m agog that anyone can truly think that a dislike of a food is the same as a strongly held ethical belief.

Not sure if you genuinely believe this if you are being a GF, but assuming you aren’t, let me clarify. It boils down to the same thing, people have their own reasons not to eat certain foods and as a host it is polite to avoid them if you can. That goes for vegetarians who don’t eat meat or meat eaters who don’t like tofu. I can assure you that if I am expected to eat certain foods, I have the same physical revulsion as you do if someone tried to make you eat meat, and a similar psychological issue due to my mother insisting I eat what is put in front of me as a child.

And I find all this talk of tofu being “disgusting” and “gross” and “slimy” both puzzling (it barely has a taste and soaks up whatever flavours we add to it) and racist. I thought we’d gotten past calling Asian food disgusting, but I guess not.

I have the same opinion of egg whites. Is that chickenist?

As an omnivore I also find it weird that other omnivores can't/won't eat some meat free meals.

Really? You can’t understand that different people have different food preferences? I can’t stomach pasta/noodles, they make me gag. I hate the sensation of spicy food on my tongue and it doesn’t sit well either. That rules out a whole load of vegetarian meals for me.

I have texture issues. I've really not found a 'fake meat' that has a texture I can cope with. I wouldn't make a fuss about it, but I wouldn't eat it.

I like tofu and other vegetarian proteins very much. It's the fake meats I simply can't handle.

As an omnivore I also find it weird that other omnivores can't/won't eat some meat free meals

Who has said that they won’t eat any meat free meals though? Genuine question, I may have missed it on the thread.

We only eat meat a couple of times a week because we buy it from the local farm shop and it’s expensive, so that’s all we can afford. 5/7 of our evening meals are vegetarian. We never eat tofu or any fake meat products though, none of us like them (actually DD2 likes Quorn nuggets but the rest of us don’t so we don’t have them, she has them at school).

I took it from the OP's first post @ReadyToMoveIt >

My family is staying with me. They eat meat at every meal

Ah ok. I just took that to mean they prefer to eat meat, not that they refuse any meat free meals. Apparently the daughter and SIL were vegetarian for a while, which suggests they aren’t completely against meat free meals.

Yes, the opening sentence is quite ambiguous and could be taken either way.

Fake meat concerns some people because it's so heavily processed. Perhaps he's very health conscious? Personally I think it's fine to leave food you don't like, but ordering a takeout afterwards is a bit awkward. He could have gone out and grabbed something to make it less so

Just FYI Quorn has a warning on the back that it can cause these symptoms in some people, because it's made from mushrooms.

If you ever did want to go meat free, there are lots of alternatives that don't contain mushrooms.

I'm vegan but I would have left the fake meat in the curry too, as I don't like fake meat products, so I don't think it was rude to do that.
I'm surprised that he needed a pizza as well just from leaving the fake meat part of the meal, so either he eats too much or you might need to review your portion sizes.
Of course there are people who take a stance that meals without meat won't be enough for them as they NEED meat. Then they performance eat extra things to make their point, which is rude. But if he's lovely I doubt its that.

TBF, I've heard kids having to eat everything on your plate quite a lot. When I studied sociology at college, we were discussing whether it was rude to not eat the food your parents gave you if you didn't like it. I was one who said no, it's more rude for the parents to make you something you don't like. A lot of other teens in that class were shocked and said if they said they didn't like it they have got in trouble, they had to eat what they were given without complaint and be grateful.

I know it sounds like a weird discussion, but it had originally started about cultural differences in parent-child relationships. In some cultures, refusing the food your parents made is seen as rude and ungrateful. I think it depends on many things. I remember one of the kids who spoke about his experience came from Sudan, and you had to eat what were given, but now they are in England but his parents still took the same approach -there is one thing for dinner, pickiness was not accepted.

I had an aunt who was similar with her kids. My brother had to stay with her for a while, and he was the fussiest water ever - no food touching, processed meat food galore, would be happy just eating those processed meatballs out of a can (those ones made for kids with aliens on the front, bleugh)

He had no luck at my aunt's because her kids were not fussy like that, and she wasn't about to make a whole separate meal for him. If her kids were having lasagne, he was having lasagne. End of.

I eat what is provided for me when I’m staying in someone’s home. I Wouldn’t order a order a pizza when a perfect nice meal had been prepared for me.

yes it was rude.

I Wouldn’t order a order a pizza when a perfect nice meal had been prepared for me.

Would you still eat it if it included a food you had told them you really didn’t like.

I Wouldn’t order a order a pizza when a perfect nice meal had been prepared for me.

But it wasn't a nice meal.

Is there really nothing you wouldn't eat rather than tell close family you dislike it?

I'd be a bit miffed if I'd goen to the trouble you had, when a guest hadn't made me aware of stuff 'I definitely won't cant eat'... And then got himself pizza as chose not too eat what id cooked....

Yes I was brought up to eat what the host provided.... Being told it was very rude not to finish what the host provided 😁

I'm pretty free and easy - the onyl things I won't eat are game... Everything else is fine.

I have several pals i'll never cook for, as their ' don't likes ' list is way too long!

Am quite happy doing veg /an food for veggie pals and won't cook meat at all on these days... As my veg pals are all vegetarians don't for moral reasons..

But he didn't think it was a perfectly nice meal!

And I find all this talk of tofu being “disgusting” and “gross” and “slimy” both puzzling (it barely has a taste and soaks up whatever flavours we add to it) and racist. I thought we’d gotten past calling Asian food disgusting, but I guess not.

Over-egged the pudding now, OP.

As an omnivore I also find it weird that other omnivores can't/won't eat some meat free meals

Who has said they won't eat some meat free meals? I imagine if the OP had served up margarita pizza, macaroni cheese etc the guests probably wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

I understood (or misunderstood) this from the first line in the OP's first post.

I have yet to see them eat a meal without meat. Their pizza always has meat and they went out and bought ribs and macaroni cheese and brought it home to eat. Maybe they’d eat a meal without meat, but I haven’t seen it happen. They always have a full English for breakfast or waffles with bacon on the side.

They ate meals without meat in the period they were vegetarian, though.