Is this rude?

[Ritascornershop]

My family is staying with me. They eat meat at every meal, I’m vegetarian. I said it’s fine that they cook meat (though the smell really bothers me but I act like it’s fine). Last night I made dinner for us with veggie “meat”. My son-in-law, who is a wonderful person, ate everything but the protein. And then went out and ordered a meat pizza.

He just doesn’t like the taste of fake meat (whereas I don’t eat meat for ethical reasons). I was taught to eat what’s in front of you. My mum was a terrible cook but I had to eat her food 3 times a day for 18 years. I’m a pretty good cook, I’ve taught cooking, took cooking classes for years, I have a real interest in it. Should he have eaten the whole curry?

I’m glad my daughter married him, just wondering if thinking on this has changed. I ate a lot of my mother-in-law’s good that I found pretty weird (crisps crumbled on top of spag bog was one) as I didn’t want to offend.

But OP, you wouldn't eat what you were given, would you? If you were cooked a lovely roast dinner you would recoil, because , as you point out, the smell of meat makes you gag. I can't understand why you can't reverse that and see some people just hate tofu! Just as shellfish makes me think of all sorts of disgusting things, so I can't eat it. Irrational, maybe , but that's the way it goes.

I don’t think its rude, I’m a vegetarian, fake meat in my opinion tastes awful and I wouldn’t eat it either.

BTW , some think tofu is just slimy.

BTW , some think tofu is just slimy

Well it just isn't, if it's prepared and cooked properly.

I don't think it's rude for people to eat what they want but nobody is allowed to bring meat into my house.

It was very bad manners. I’m vegetarian and I’ve been veggie such a long time that because it wasn’t around for quite a while I’ve never enjoyed veggie ‘meat’ myself but my younger son likes it (vegetarian) as does his soon to be wife (vegan) and my older son and his wife will happily eat it as will my husband all of whom are meat eaters.
I confess, though I would try the fake meat I might not eat it but I would explain and thank you profusely for a lovely meal. I definitely wouldn’t order a pizza, that really unfeeling.

Delinathe , but it's a matter of opinion, isn't it? We all have something we hate to eat, it's really as simple as that.

But @loislovesstewie people have stated on here quite firmly as an objective fact that tofu is disgusting, evil, slimy, etc. I really like tofu. There are a number of tofu dishes that are among my very favorite things to eat. Entire nations think it’s edible, so yes, it’s a matter of taste and not as repellent as many are making out.

At least we agree that it is a matter of taste.

You're missing the point, if someone did t realise she didn't eat something for whatever reason she wouldn't, in this case it's meat. He has the same feelings and ate around the offending food but obviously was hungry so ordered something to eat for dinner.
Reason for not eating it is irrelevant

It’s rude to cook fake meat when you know he doesn’t like it and then get offended! Why not make a veggie curry?

Entire nations think it’s edible, so yes, it’s a matter of taste and not as repellent as many are making out.

So some people have strong views about tofu, you have strong views about meat.

Upthread you said you felt SiL should eat what he's given but that wouldn't apply to you because your views are stronger. Now you think people with strong objections to tofu are wrong.

You'd get pissed off if someone talked about you being veggie in the same way you talk about your SiL and other non-veggies here.

Why not accept that people who don't like soymeat have just as valid preferences as you do and neither party should be expected to eat food they don't want?

OP for gods sake will you let it go.

TOFU is feckin gross!

I eat practically everything, but that stuff turns my stomach.

You're being utterly ridiculous here.

And couching it as impolite, when you yourself have plenty of foodstuffs you wouldn't eat under any circumstances is frankly hypocritical.

Let it go, it's a total non-issue.

I was taught to eat what’s in front of you.

As was I. Set me up for many food issues as an adult.

Depends on how he does it.

I struggle eating at my mils because they have this expectation you will eat exactly what they serve, and comment.
I have two real food issues, dating from childhood. Both can make a gag, potentially vomit. One being brown bread, other being mashed potato. Yes, dh has told them this on more than one occasion.

So if they serve brown bread only then I will quietly help myself to salad, cheese and other things. Someone is sure to comment "oh you need bread".
Then we have the mashed potato issue. Sounds not too bad, but my mil used to quite happily over a weekend serve shepherd's pie (with the mashed potato mixed in with the meat), fish pie (with mashed potato mixed in with the fish) and pasta bake (with, guess what, the mashed potato mixed in...).

So what I quietly do is sit between dh and the hungriest child and gradually slide all the meal over to them.
Then afterwards I'll eat biscuits in my room, or offer to fetch the paper and get myself something to eat when out.

For people who think that disliking tofu is equivalent to believing that meat is murder, well, I can’t help you. There’s no point having a conversation about it, the gap is too wide.

I’d always assumed that meat eaters knew they were eating dead animals and weren’t bothered about it, but grasped that for some people it’s against their beliefs. It turns out some meat eaters think it’s just a passing thought, not a big deal to vegetarians and vegans, something they’re doing for a laugh or to pass the time. I’m agog that anyone can truly think that a dislike of a food is the same as a strongly held ethical belief.

And I find all this talk of tofu being “disgusting” and “gross” and “slimy” both puzzling (it barely has a taste and soaks up whatever flavours we add to it) and racist. I thought we’d gotten past calling Asian food disgusting, but I guess not.

You're original question was about your son-in-law being rude.
He ate everything but the meat substitute so he tried.
He was still hungry so organised pizza for himself.
I think it was awkward on both sides but I'd let it go.
The days of forcing people to eat what's put in front of them are long gone.

I'm vegetarian and would rather have no "meat" than fake.
Depending on what you put it in quorn adds a bit of a weird taste. When I make a curry if I'm going to use quorn I will microwave it for a minute or two and then add it to the curry sauce for the last 5 mins. Otherwise it leaves an odd flavour.
He was rude ordering a meat pizza tho! I hate the smell of meat.

Oh, please! I really have heard it all now! Saying that it's racist to think that tofu is slimy!!! That is really scraping the barrel. Some people notice textures more than others, my very sweet adult child who has ASD for example. And how can you judge ethnicity just by the comment that tofu feels slimy . I am going to put a cold compress on my head now because this discussion has really reached a point of no return.

Tofu is an ethnicity now 🤨

How on earth does disliking tofu make you racist? 🙈

I can't tolerate spicy food as it makes me sick - does that make racist too? 🙄🤣

@Ritascornershop - seriously! Your last message really does you no favours, you clearly think you're 'holier than thou' - you're not, you chose not to eat meat and others chose not to eat other items including fake meat. We have perhaps a bit more insight into why your SIL bought pizza maybe 🤔

I think having them cook meat in your house is a bit much, actually. When I was vegetarian, there was no way I’d want people cooking meat in my kitchen. The smell would make me physically sick very sensitive gag reflex) and I wouldn’t want my chopping boards/utensils contaminated.

Did your sil even try the meatball element?

This thread is getting ridiculous. I am probably a similar age to the OP and was made to finish what was on my plate whether I liked it or not.

However, I don't think that this is OK. I accept that everyone has likes and dislikes, and would never give anyone tofu/seitan/quorn/TVP/other fake meat alternative unless I knew that they liked it.

In this case I would probably have used paneer in the curry or just used pulses for the protein element.

As an omnivore I also find it weird that other omnivores can't/won't eat some meat free meals.

He’s an adult . He left the part of the meal that he didn’t enjoy. Not everyone likes tofu. I don’t.

How on earth does disliking tofu make you racist? I can't tolerate spicy food as it makes me sick - does that make racist too?

How dare you question OP? She is vegetarian and therefore Better Than You. You will eat what you are told to.