Daughter accused of bullying

[Pennyhill22]

My dd has been accused of bullying on her sports team. My DH is manager of the team. We have been told that she has been calling another team member names. Our DD denies it,the other parents are adamant she has said these things and have reported the issue to the club. I don't know what to do. My DD she hasn't said anything.

Apologies for all the typos,sitting on a packed train.

How old is she?

11

IS it
possible that she has been bullying?

@Mydogisagentleman ,we have never had an issue like this before with her. She can be hardwork at home sometimes.

Op I think if multiple parents are raising this you need to take it seriously

This might be a coincidence but did your daughter recently have a birthday party and invite the whole team except for one girl?

How many parents are saying it? Perhaps dh needs to do some team building and get someone in to do a talk about bullying to the team. Be proactive

It's only one set of parents that have come to us.

While it’s possible that your dd is telling the truth and all the other 11 year olds and their parents are lying, it’s highly unlikely.

I would let the club deal with it as far as possible, but I also wouldn’t allow my child to do an activity where they were being mean to other people unless they apologised to all the others concerned and it stopped.

Is there a possibility that she has been bullying?

Or is she getting bullied? A common tactic in bullying is accusing the scapegoat of being the bully and try and convince others to turn against them as well.

I would have a serious, open conversation with your DD about what’s really going on and hope that she will tell you the truth.

I think it's more likely that your DD is lying about namecalling than the parents of another child.

The club should appoint someone independent to investigate and speak to both DCs separately. Then it'd be one child's word against another but your DH as manager of the team won't be involved.

It would help if your DD who is denying this, can say why she thinks this other child is saying this if it is untrue - ie has other child been bullying her or have they fallen out?

Friends child did this she was suspended twice. From her sports club. She's also a challenging child at home. I believe she's bullying but it's not a reflection on you. Wishing you luck

Isn’t it highly unlikely everyone else is making this up? Why would they do that? Sometimes you need to look for the most likely scenario, which is she did and is now lying.

Yeah, I thought about the other thread too when I read this.

Unless you have her under 24/7 surveillance, you can't possibly know she hasn't.

You don't want to believe she did. That's understandable but it's not wise to refuse to consider the possibility.

My DH is manager of the team.

Right, so what is the procedure if this were any other child in the team being complained about?

🤣 Yes I thought this too!

OP - if it's your daughter who invited the whole team except one girl to her birthday - that was definitely terrible behaviour

Apologies, you meant to type my daughter she says she hasn't said anything. Not my daughter she hasn't said anything ?

I wondered that as wel.

What are the usual procedures if you have this kind of complaint?
Anybody other than your DD and the other person see or hear anything?

What advice do you want? Obviously you have to take it seriously and bring it up with her.

Your best bet is to find out all the facts. Exactly what was said, who said it, exactly where and when, who overheard etc.

No my DD did not have a birthday party. My DH has suggested the two girls and parents meet up and talk about it. DD just denies she said anything.The other parents have said that two other children have heard our DD say something. My DH would rather just sort it between us but the other parents have already spoke to the club and have said the child protection officer needs to get involved. What can we do if DD won't admit to it.