Should I inform his employer

[Candycat1212]

My ex was convinced under the domestic abuse act last year and sentenced to a community payback order.
I'm assuming he didn't inform his employer of this as he is still working for them. His employer is a large company that apparently supports many domestic abuse organisations. Legally, would I be allowed to inform his employer of his convinction? Would he be allowed to find out it was me that told them? Would it have any legal comeback for me? I'm in the UK.

Kindly, I don't think this will add anything to your life? Would it be better/healthier to give yourself permission to completely stop thinking about him?

This feels a little like you're looking for revenge and I'm afraid it wouldn't get you what you're looking for - if indeed they even paid any attention

Is he paying maintenance for your children?

Because if you lose him his job then you’re going to lose that as well.

I understand how you feel, but tbh no, revenge isn’t the way to go here.

No leave it. Nothing good will come of this.

Agree with previous posters. Leave it.

Also YABU to start several threads on this.

@AlternativePerspective @MJ123
He doesn't pay or have any contact with my child. I didn't put him on the birth certificate as baby was born after the abuse. He's never asked about baby since he was born and I'm fine with that, luckily I'm in a position where I do not need or want financial assistance from him.
Does it just seem like I'm being petty and looking for revenge? I don't want to open a can of worms.

@PuggyMum sorry, I've only recently started using this site and wasn't sure which chat to post it in x

I wouldn't leave it. Anonymous email to his company, they can check it out and do what they want. It migt well be in his contract that he has to disclose any convictions, it is in mine.

Unless his contract states that he must inform them of a conviction received during his employment, he's not legally obliged to tell them.

You'll gain nothing from telling them, and I think it would be healthier for you to stop dwelling on what he's doing with his life and move on.

AIBU is certainly an interesting place to post this.

I've a friend who could have done similar. He'd even stolen from the company and abused his perks. Turns out everyone knew as they were all on the take so she would have just looked like she was the vindictive one.

Best revenge is a life well lived.

@10HailMarys @CupidStunt22 It is in his contract that he must inform them and due to the nature of his job, any criminal convinction would result in him being fired so I'm guessing he's kept it quiet.

Then tell them. No idea why everyone is telling you to leave it, as if he shouldn't get the consequences of what he did...sounds like apologists for abusive men to me.

I would tell them and not think twice about it.

This might be a case of doing the right thing for the wrong reason.

Report him. But don't expect to feel
Good about it. Also protect yourself in case he gets nasty, because it will be obvious it came from you

I wouldn't be scared of legal comeback but domestic comeback from your ex given his history.

I wouldn't put myself in the position where he can attack me again

Very much agree that the best revenge is a life well lived.

I agree that you would be opening a massive can of worms by doing this, tempting though it may be.

It’s does look like you want revenge to be honest. I don’t blame you but I doubt it would achieve much and do you want a violent man angry with you?

If you inform his employer anonymously it will look like a malicious communication and of course it's pretty hard to be anonymous in this day and age... IP addresses can be traced etc ...

As you claim to have had nothing to do with him, he's not even named on the child's birth certificate and you claim to be fine financially, it does raise the question of why you aren't content to just move on with your life.

@declutteringmymind yes him getting nasty is certainly a concern. I had previously posted on here looking for advice because as soon as the court case was over, him and his new partner bought a house 5 minutes along the road from me. As they have no work/family/friend links to my town and are both from the other side of the country originally, the police and court were concerned but nothing could be done as he wasn't technically breaking his restraining order and due to data protection apparently the courts couldnt ask him why he'd moved here. So yes, I don't want to open a can of worms but I also feel its wrong that he's pretty much getting away with what he did when it affected my life so badly.

It is in his contract that he must inform them
How on earth do you know this?

Why?

If he needs a CRB for his job then they will pick it up anyway. If not. They won't care.

And more ...you are giving him headspace

@Johnnysgirl because he worked there when we were together and he was stopped for speeding and had a panic due to that part of his contract. He wasnt sure if that would impact his job.

@maddy68 I dont think they do regular background checks, I think that would only be if he applied for a new job.

If he needs a clear DBS then definitely report this to his employer. He is obliged to inform them about any convictions for good reason. They may also have concerns that he has dishonestly withheld information like this.