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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate most mixed sex fitting rooms

182 replies

Humbold · 22/05/2022 12:45

I haven't been out shopping much post-Covid because it seemed pointless when the fitting rooms were closed. Went with my teenage daughter to pick up some summer clothes this week and was shocked by how many stores have gone for mixed sex changing rooms.

First stop was Primark. Headed to fitting room and noticed the mixed queue, got to the head and was pointed to changing area "it's mixed just pick any cubicle". I was a bit surprised but went with it thinking it would be fine as long as there were self-contained cubicles with floor-to-ceiling lockable doors. Got met with row upon row of curtained cubicles, hard to see which ones were occupied without angling myself to check down the gap at the side (they never seem to close over properly without much faffing) or looking at the bottom to see if I could see feet. Gingerly opened one and to my relief it was free. I hated it.

I was trying on a dress that involved me taking my shoes off and stripping down to my bra and knickers. My elbow would move the curtain every now and again so I was constantly checking it was closed over properly. I could hear teenage lads walking past and the girl in the next cubicle was squeezed in with her boyfriend who was chatting away. It was crazy. I felt so vulnerable and tense so didn't bother trying my other 2 dresses on.

Previously I would have got an outfit on and maybe if I needed help with the zip or wanted my friend/daughter's opinion I would come out into the communal area and look in the full length mirror. I might come out partially dressed (unbuttoned, unzipped etc...) and ask an assistant for the next size up etc... But there's no way you can do that in this mixed setting. When I pulled back the curtain there was a man waiting at the end of one row, looking on his phone, probably just waiting on his wife or girlfriend. It just felt wrong.

I remember when there were communal changing rooms and they were bad enough but at least they weren't mixed. My DD said she went to H&M with her boyfriend and they were exactly the same - just curtained. Her boyfriend came in and just sat on the floor at the end of a row of curtained cubicles and she said it didn't feel right but didn't say anything.

I've been to Cos and their changing rooms are completely self-contained, lockable, floor-to-ceiling cubicles. It's on a much smaller scale too which helps - probably a max of 10 cubicles. I can deal with that. But since when did shops think they could pile in 30/40/50 curtained spaces and mix in men with women and make the changing experience so bloody horrible? I haven't been in an M&S changing room for a while - are any of theirs going mixed? I'm concerned it's becoming a trend and I don't understand why.

As a young girl I'd have been worried about lads pulling back curtains 'accidentally'. As an adult I'm worried about anyone pulling back a curtain and exposing me in a state of undress but more uncomfortable if there's a chance my best mate's Dad is stood there! I'm not keen on shopping at the best of times but if this is the way things are going, it's online all the way for me. The High Street can do one.

AIBU?

OP posts:
OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 24/07/2022 09:37

LampLighter414 · 23/07/2022 19:25

There are probably dirty men wanking in such facilities knowing there are half dressed women mere inches away

There are online forums dedicated to it.

(they also put the garments back and wait for an unsuspecting woman to pick them up. 🤮)

bellinisurge · 24/07/2022 10:16

Wankers' Paradise. Undertrained underpaid staff supposed to police it.

bellinisurge · 24/07/2022 10:17

Indecent exposure pretty much decriminalised now

KittenKong · 24/07/2022 12:26

bellinisurge · 24/07/2022 10:16

Wankers' Paradise. Undertrained underpaid staff supposed to police it.

They aren’t going to get into one with Betty in cubicle 6 who keeps asking if anyone can help with her suspenders and basque…

you see security guards ignoring shoplifters if they look large/crazy enough so a changing room attendant isn’t going to charge in where they could be screamed at/attacked/and and shamed in public, and have all the creeps threatening them.

whatisheupto · 25/09/2022 17:34

Merryclaire · 22/05/2022 13:10

YANBU. A while ago I went into a mixed changing room and there was a dress left in there - it looked quite nice so I picked it up to have a look and then discovered that someone had, ahem, pleasured himself all down the front of the dress.
While I appreciate most blokes are not going to do this, I don’t see why women should have to be exposed to this kind of crap.
I don’t have an issue if a trans woman wants to use the changing room as they still have curtains, but would rather not share with men.
Also I agree I feel worried someone will open the curtain - especially when it’s one of those that directly adjoins the shop floor.

Absolutely disgusting and, from the number of times I've seen it mentioned, not an isolated incident.....

Humbold · 30/09/2022 20:01

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4645086-primark-to-reinstate-women-and-girls-only-changing-rooms

Hurrah!! Primark have actually listened!

OP posts:
OoooohMatron · 30/09/2022 20:14

YANBU. I was in Primark with 12 year old DD and thought that in a few years when she goes clothes shopping with friends I won't be comfortable with her using unisex changing rooms. I don't care myself but for young girls this would be very uncomfortable.

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