To make child pay for his own uniform?

[Unifrom]

My child is 8 and is very unorganised, he’s constantly losing his belongings at school and with the cost of living I can’t keep up like this. They never get found/returned despite them all being labelled.

The latest thing is his fleece, that costs £19. Went missing on Monday and hasn’t been handed in, need to sort it. He gets pocket money at £2 per week and saves this up to buy something big, so he can cover this.

Me and DH can’t agree on whether he should have to pay for the cost of a new one out of pocket money.

So AIBU to think it would be a good life lesson for him to have to pay for a replacement? Or is he too young to have to pay for his own uniform?

I’ve seen it all now.

Not at 8, no.

My parents would have 100% made me pay for it. The threat was enough I didn't loose stuff though. I say make him pay, he'll soon learn

We use the proper stick on labels, with first and last name - placed on the collar label and the low down wash label. It’s not a labelling problem.

buy him one of the same colour from a cheap shop

Goodness only knows. Sounds like the ops son understood when she explained it terms he could understand and sounds like a little sweetie too.

ask the school for help

Bloody hell!

I know a few parents like this, who never punish their kids, their kids are horrible to be around but the parents think they’re angels.

This.
You shouldn't punish him for his unintended mistakes.
My teen loses stuff, his brother doesn't.
It's not intentional, and I would support him to find it (go with him to lost property everyday after school) but I wouldn't punish him.
Does he need a fleece in May?

Right. So it’s not working, and yet you keep at it.

No, I don’t think they’re angels. I think they’re normal children who test the boundaries every so often. Punishments after the poor behaviour doesn’t erase it, it just breeds resentment.

So why do the punishments only work sometimes?

It really does. Punishments don’t change the behaviour. They can’t, because it’s already happened.

Only on MN people accuse the mum of being practically evil for trying to teach her 8 year old a lesson. He is not a toddler he is 8 and I SEN always comes in to question, most kids get scatty with their stuff especially when it's clothing that they aren't particularly attached to. I think the mum would know if her kid had sen, with more evidence than being scatty. I do think you should show him in money how much the fleece cost op but I think £19 for a school fleece is ridiculous and wouldn't of bought one in the first place. Can't he get a plain school colour one for a £5/6 or a second hand school one and tell him he be buying it next time if he continues to forget them. I don't think you should make him pay near £20 ever though but a towards a cheaper one is totally fine in my opinion as long as you warm him first. You know your child best and what would be the best lesson for him. I make my child go back in and look when they forget their stuff at pick up, when I know they are prone to forget things (like book bag etc)

Logic. It doesn’t change the behaviour. It doesn’t address the reasons for the behaviour. It happens after the behaviour. It’s a parental control tactic and nothing more.

Warm him? Warn 🥴

Did you thank them for the punishments? Does your daughter thank you when you punish her?

So what do you suggest @Pumperthepumper?