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Parents won’t come round without the dog - but I have a brand new house, with a cream carpet
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rightonthemoney · 19/05/2022 20:49

let me start this by saying I absolutely LOVE my parents dog - I was still at home when they got her, so I’m not completing detached from her!

Anyway, I’ve just moved into my first home with my partner, we live about 45 minutes away now from both sets of parents (the only affordable place left in our county.) My parents came round to see the house when we first got it, about three weeks ago, and I’ve invited them round to see the progress of it this weekend.

My mum said they want to come, but they’d like to bring the dog. I said they can bring her, but she’s not allowed on the carpet. I have a brand new home, with cream carpet. We have no pets or children, so it will stay clean, because I want it to. For reference, she’s a very hairy, smelly cocker spaniel. I’ve said the dog can come in the kitchen, but apparently that isn’t ok…

Anyway - they don’t want to leave the dog for hours on end, which is completely fair enough. However, they would be gone for four/five hours MAX. Plus, my 30 year old brother lives at home! I got frustrated with my mum and this is verbatim the text she sent: “I don’t want her to be alone. Minimum of 50 mins to you, and back so that leaves a couple of hours max at yours….simple, you come here 😊”

Am I being unreasonable?! Just the way she worded the text, expecting me to drive 50 minutes away because of the dog, even though I have invited them to mine. I don’t mind driving to them, but it’s the principle.

Am I going to spend my whole life only travelling to them because they have a dog? 🤦🏻‍♀️ Really needed to vent because I’m so angry!

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

ZekeZeke · 19/05/2022 20:52

Stop communicating via text. Pick up the phone and speak with your mum.

Your brother is hone, he can look after the dog, the dog won't be alone.

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Ducksinthebath · 19/05/2022 20:53

That’s some dog people for you.

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Animallover87 · 19/05/2022 20:53

YABU. The dog is part of the family. Just ask them to wipe her paws before she comes in? I always just Hoover after my mum's dogs leave and my cream carpet looks good as new.

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TeeBee · 19/05/2022 20:54

It's ridiculous she won't just leave the dog, especially if your brother is home. Just say you'll give it a miss and keep saying it. At some point she'll realise her daughter is more important than a dog. People get stupid with their dogs.

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TeaBug · 19/05/2022 20:55

Yanbu. I wouldn't even have a dog in my kitchen. If your brother's there, how is the dog alone?

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User3568975431146 · 19/05/2022 20:58

I'm not sure why you're angry. Irritated, maybe, but it's not worth being angry over.

The dog is part of your family and to be honest she's probably pretty far down the ladder of what will happen to your carpet over time. When you choose to put a light carpet down you choose to have the possibility of it getting stained or dirty and having to clean it.

You're potentially at risk of making your house unwelcoming. It's it's not a house that friends or family can feel relaxed in in case they spill something or whatever, they're not going to want to visit so maybe have a think about what's really important (it's not your carpet!)

If it makes you feel better, get one of these doggy paw cup washer things that are on sale now.

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converseandjeans · 19/05/2022 20:59

YABU to invite them but not the dog. I can't see why anyone would put a cream carpet down - but then that's not the point of your thread.

You're the one who moved away so it probably is up to you to travel back to theirs.

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shivawn · 19/05/2022 20:59

I don’t mind driving to them, but it’s the principle.

If you don't mind the drive then I wouldn't make a big issue out of it. They don't want to leave their dog at home for hours, you don't want the dog coming to your house. You're invited to theirs instead and don't mind the drive....just let it go.

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thistimelastweek · 19/05/2022 21:00

I can see both points of view.

I wouldn't want someone else's dog smegging up my house.

I wouldn't want to leave my beloved dog for hours.

Not helping am I?

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userxx · 19/05/2022 21:00

Ducksinthebath · 19/05/2022 20:53

That’s some dog people for you.

I invited my parents over for Father's Day, had the menu planned and was quite excited. They cancelled last minute as they were collecting their latest rescue hound, I know where I stand !

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LaurieFairyCake · 19/05/2022 21:02

Are you saying you'll never have the dog over to yours or are you just pretty attached to the cleanliness of your carpet at the moment Grin

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rnsaslkih · 19/05/2022 21:02

If you have a kitchen and a garden and can close the door to the cream carpet place, that should be completely acceptable. Other than that, there is no reason for the dog to be dirty or smelly - why does she not bath and groom the dog?

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LuckySantangelo35 · 19/05/2022 21:03

@User3568975431146

The dog is part of your family and to be honest she's probably pretty far down the ladder of what will happen to your carpet over time.

Like what? What will happen to her carpet over time? Are you assuming OP will have kids? How invested in the patriarchy are you?!

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rnsaslkih · 19/05/2022 21:03

but I would add in her defense that leaving the dog for several hours would be not really ideal.

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bellac11 · 19/05/2022 21:04

A dog is part of the family, your family. What if your brother had kids,, kids can be smelly and dribbly and messy too, would you ban them from the living room?

Ask for the dog to be bathed prior to arrival, ensure dog has not just run around in mud and ask for them to bring his dog bed so that he can sit in the bed not on your carpet

But the carpet is going to get trodden on over time, it really wont stay looking like you think it will, no matter your intentions believe me

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KangarooKenny · 19/05/2022 21:04

I wouldn’t leave my dog that long either. But I’d be happy to sit in the kitchen or garden with him.

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SeedyBloomer · 19/05/2022 21:04

We pay a pet sitter to take the dog for a walk if we go out for several hours. They need to do that when going to your house places which aren’t suited to a dog

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rnsaslkih · 19/05/2022 21:05

I will tell you why people put cream carpets down - small rooms with sod all light. Cream helps it not be like a dark cave.

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LuckySantangelo35 · 19/05/2022 21:05

rnsaslkih · 19/05/2022 21:03

but I would add in her defense that leaving the dog for several hours would be not really ideal.

@rnsaslkih

how do people work with a dog then? Or do anything really. You can’t be chained to house cos you have dog.

and in this case dog wouldn’t even be left alone, OP’s brother would be there

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rightonthemoney · 19/05/2022 21:06

😂😂 I don’t mind having her round at some point in the future, but if I’m not messing up my own carpet, I sure as hell don’t want a dog messing it up!

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bellac11 · 19/05/2022 21:07

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/05/2022 21:03

@User3568975431146

The dog is part of your family and to be honest she's probably pretty far down the ladder of what will happen to your carpet over time.

Like what? What will happen to her carpet over time? Are you assuming OP will have kids? How invested in the patriarchy are you?!

Are you on drugs? What on earth are you on about?

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shivawn · 19/05/2022 21:07

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/05/2022 21:03

@User3568975431146

The dog is part of your family and to be honest she's probably pretty far down the ladder of what will happen to your carpet over time.

Like what? What will happen to her carpet over time? Are you assuming OP will have kids? How invested in the patriarchy are you?!

Lol really? You don't need kids to make a cream carpet look crap overtime.

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LocalHobo · 19/05/2022 21:08

Could you not speak to your brother?
Then he can tell your parents the dog will be well cared for.

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rnsaslkih · 19/05/2022 21:09

If mum is saying dog will be alone, presumably brother is elsewhere - if he was home, dog wouldn't be alone

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rightonthemoney · 19/05/2022 21:10

My sister has kids, they aren’t banned. But there we have rules, like not taking juice into the lounge. I think that’s reasonable, it’s my house. I know my carpet won’t stay this way forever, believe me! We want to get vinyl one day, but we don’t have the spare money for that. I want my carpet looking beautiful. Like I said, it’s just my partner and I, we aren’t messy, so I’d expect my family to try and be mindful of that ☹️

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