Parents won’t come round without the dog - but I have a brand new house, with a cream carpet

[rightonthemoney]

let me start this by saying I absolutely LOVE my parents dog - I was still at home when they got her, so I’m not completing detached from her!

Anyway, I’ve just moved into my first home with my partner, we live about 45 minutes away now from both sets of parents (the only affordable place left in our county.) My parents came round to see the house when we first got it, about three weeks ago, and I’ve invited them round to see the progress of it this weekend.

My mum said they want to come, but they’d like to bring the dog. I said they can bring her, but she’s not allowed on the carpet. I have a brand new home, with cream carpet. We have no pets or children, so it will stay clean, because I want it to. For reference, she’s a very hairy, smelly cocker spaniel. I’ve said the dog can come in the kitchen, but apparently that isn’t ok…

Anyway - they don’t want to leave the dog for hours on end, which is completely fair enough. However, they would be gone for four/five hours MAX. Plus, my 30 year old brother lives at home! I got frustrated with my mum and this is verbatim the text she sent: “I don’t want her to be alone. Minimum of 50 mins to you, and back so that leaves a couple of hours max at yours….simple, you come here 😊”

Am I being unreasonable?! Just the way she worded the text, expecting me to drive 50 minutes away because of the dog, even though I have invited them to mine. I don’t mind driving to them, but it’s the principle.

Am I going to spend my whole life only travelling to them because they have a dog? 🤦🏻‍♀️ Really needed to vent because I’m so angry!

[Museumland]

I wouldn't want to leave my dog at the weekend unless there was no other option, for example a wedding or something similar. I think your parents might be thinking that the dog is part of their family and loved by them and you are putting your carpets ahead of that.

[Aquamarine1029]

@Museumland

I wouldn't want to leave my dog at the weekend unless there was no other option, for example a wedding or something similar. I think your parents might be thinking that the dog is part of their family and loved by them and you are putting your carpets ahead of that.

Her parents are putting a dog before their own child. This isn't just about "the carpets." It's about respecting their daughter and her choices.

[AnotherAnxiousMess]

@rightonthemoney

I’d never stop people from bringing their children to my home.. I have small nephews of my own. I also do want my own children on day. However, for now, I don’t want a dog walking all over my brand new carpet.

My daughter once got her dirty pizza hands on my brothers brand new sofa... If your nephew is invited to your home, there’s a good chance your carpet isn’t going to stay nice and new for long anyway…

[WoolyMammoth55]

I know a woman with very precious cream carpets. And a 5 year old daughter. Daughter isn't allowed friends over after one of them spilled a drink on the precious carpets.

I'm lucky that we have a dog so I get to decline her invitations to visit on those grounds: "would love to but can't leave the dog, sorry".

People who put carpet at the top of their priority list really ought not to judge other people for giving a crap about the wellbeing of their pet :)

Also, I have (not cream) but light beige carpets upstairs, and since I also clean my home, these carpets are totally compatible with a dog. Is the dog filthy or do you not own a hoover?

[stuntbubbles]

A dog is part of the family, your family. What if your brother had kids,, kids can be smelly and dribbly and messy too, would you ban them from the living room?
News just in, dogs aren’t people.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

Sorry, not the point, I know, but IMO anyone who chooses a cream carpet must be bonkers.

[RibNSaucyArseCrack]

Ergh if not allow a dog in my house full stop! Yanbu. Enjoy your carpet for as long as you can!

[Mellowyellow222]

They are being unreasonable.

do they not go anywhere at all? And why can your brother not keep the dog company?

surely they visit friends - I have a car so people couldn’t bring. Their dog to my house.

[CrispSandwichesRule]

As somebody who loves her dog as if it’s her third child (possibly her favourite child) you are not being unreasonable.

Before we had kids we were just the same… our lounge was just lovely and we had worked hard for a long time for it…And now we do have kids they still are taught which rooms they need to respect. They are now teenagers and know where they can be slobs, and where they can’t!

[StoneofDestiny]

It's bizarre your parents won't leave their dog for a short time - do they never go anywhere without the dog eg cinema, church, doctors, dentists, funerals, weddings etc?

I'd not have any dog in my house. It's not cost me any friends - they don't take their dogs everywhere they go.
As for cream carpets - I've got light carpets throughout my home and did have them in many previous homes. It's my style and they never looked grubby - but we eat in the kitchen or dining room, not all over the place.

[Nutellaonall]

I don’t know anyone that would expect their dog to come into my home. Have friends visit all the time with dogs and they always stay in the garden, kitchen at an absolute most but that is pushing it. It is your house. You get to decide. Put your foot down now. She is being very unreasonable.

[GCAcademic]

You clearly don’t have a husband like mine. He’s more of a menace to carpets than our dog is, by a country mile.

[JayAlfredPrufrock]

To be fair I’d never dream of taking my dog to someone’s house. And as a family we were frequently shocked that my cousin and his wife used to bring their dog to our dog free house every time they visited. Including Christmas Day. We had a cat. It was a Great Dane. We lived in a 1930’s three bed semi. It’s tail frequently removed the cut glass liqueur glasses from the occasional table. And she once Stoke a whole cheese from the hostess trolley.

Oh how we laughed.

[yikesanotherbooboo]

Are you really putting your inanimate carpet and its cleanliness above the comfort of your parents?

[TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo]

When my mum visits her dog is not invited. I have cats so sorry no it's not going to happen.

Do they not work? Have non dog friendly days out? Your brother is home to take care of the dog!

[Aquamarine1029]

@yikesanotherbooboo

Are you really putting your inanimate carpet and its cleanliness above the comfort of your parents?

How is the dog not being allowed beyond the op's kitchen impacting the "comfort" of her parents? The dog has to be glued to their side every minute of every day, the wishes of other people be damned? Are the parents really putting a dog before their daughter? Apparently, they are.

[Herejustforthisone]

However, they would be gone for four/five hours MAX. Plus, my 30 year old brother lives at home

Yeah, they’re bonkers.

[MoonKnight]

I don’t have any myself, But is it the new norm to take your pet with you when visiting someone? This has never come up with any of my friends/family. Whatever next, having to specify pet free weddings?

[aprofoundhistoricalnovalty]

We have a golden retriever- she's very hairy, and although not dirty, does smell like a dog!

We don't leave her shut in, unless it's an emergency, (work from home) and she goes everywhere with us.

You say you like the dog, it's part of the family. You obviously like your parents!
A compromise: dog can visit, but she's not allowed on any furniture and only in the carpeted area under supervision. I recommend some of those big cheap thin fleece blankets- they sort of "stick" to the carpet and will protect it from any "doggie" pong or fur.

Carpet stays clean, parents can visit and not worry about leaving ddog behind, win win.

[Booboobibles]

But you said that you love the dog….doesn’t sound like you love her much if you don’t want to see her. Just buy some dog odour neutraliser spray…honestly how much of a mess can one dog make in a couple of hours?

[tigerlilymochalatte]

Im with you, we have a cream carpet (not my choice, was there when we bought it) and two kids but like PP we dont eat in the lounge and take shoes off. Its stayed nice and because our kids eat in the kitchen/dining room area other kids just do the same.
You aren't unreasonable as you said the dog can come in the kitchen so wont be left or it can stay with your brother if hes in. Two perfectly good options. Personally I think its your parents picking the dog over their relationship with you.

[RampantIvy]

Dog lovers simply cannot get their head around the fact that not everyone wants a dog in their home. I don't have cream carpets and I quite like dogs, but I still don't want a dog in my house.

YANBU, especially as you have offered to put the dog in the kitchen. I don't know why your parents don't trust your brother to see to the dog.

[knowinglesseveryday]

Your parents are deliberately difficult

[TeaBug]

You’re a sacrifice in human relationships for a fucking carpet

Op doesn't want a dog on her carpet. According to the vote most people think that's reasonable. So do I. It's the dog's owner being unreasonable. They could stay in the garden or the kitchen.

[rightonthemoney]

@AnotherAnxiousMess

My daughter once got her dirty pizza hands on my brothers brand new sofa... If your nephew is invited to your home, there’s a good chance your carpet isn’t going to stay nice and new for long anyway…

To me, there isn’t even a comparison between the two. Dogs are animals, they sometimes eat their own sick and shit outside, lol. Children are children and accidents happen. However, a dog is not a child. She doesn’t need to be by our side 24/7. As I’ve said, she’s welcome to sit in the kitchen with her bed where she will feel very comfortable.