Parents won’t come round without the dog - but I have a brand new house, with a cream carpet

[rightonthemoney]

let me start this by saying I absolutely LOVE my parents dog - I was still at home when they got her, so I’m not completing detached from her!

Anyway, I’ve just moved into my first home with my partner, we live about 45 minutes away now from both sets of parents (the only affordable place left in our county.) My parents came round to see the house when we first got it, about three weeks ago, and I’ve invited them round to see the progress of it this weekend.

My mum said they want to come, but they’d like to bring the dog. I said they can bring her, but she’s not allowed on the carpet. I have a brand new home, with cream carpet. We have no pets or children, so it will stay clean, because I want it to. For reference, she’s a very hairy, smelly cocker spaniel. I’ve said the dog can come in the kitchen, but apparently that isn’t ok…

Anyway - they don’t want to leave the dog for hours on end, which is completely fair enough. However, they would be gone for four/five hours MAX. Plus, my 30 year old brother lives at home! I got frustrated with my mum and this is verbatim the text she sent: “I don’t want her to be alone. Minimum of 50 mins to you, and back so that leaves a couple of hours max at yours….simple, you come here 😊”

Am I being unreasonable?! Just the way she worded the text, expecting me to drive 50 minutes away because of the dog, even though I have invited them to mine. I don’t mind driving to them, but it’s the principle.

Am I going to spend my whole life only travelling to them because they have a dog? 🤦🏻‍♀️ Really needed to vent because I’m so angry!

Enjoy your new house, you will relax about it in due course but in the meantime, it is perfectly ok not to want other people’s dogs there.

I couldn't give two hoots about the carpet, but I wouldn't want the dog in my house whatever was on my floors. I have plenty of friends with dogs, and none of them ever take them to anyone else's house. My best friend has a dog, and comes round for hours at a time - never once has the dog been an issue! (It couldn't come anyway because of our cat, but even if we didn't have a cat, there would be no way the dog was coming too).

If you're happy to accept the dog in your house at some point in the future, you may as well let it in now (I'm struggling to see what it's going to do with the carpet if it has clean paws before it comes and is house trained). But if you don't want the dog in your house you're perfectly within your rights to say no - but I wouldn't use the carpet as a reason.

Oh dear. Many families don’t have room for a table I’m afraid.

YANBU.
Our neighbours have a dog who is smuggled into shops etc in a large weekender type handbag. It's never alone.
I personally find it bizarre, I think it's nice a dog is content in their own home.
Our dog when she is home alone has a sneeky wee snuggle on our bed or the couch. And seems quite put out when we are back and shoo her off 😂

I also think it's quite sad to prioritise a dog over your daughter.

Yes, we have a kitchen table. For some reason as soon as I said she’s not allowed on the carpet, my mum didn’t really want to know. I understand what youre saying, but no pet should be prioritised before your child. It will just be very sad if it means I’ll less of my own parents because of this.

You're being unreasonable for choosi g an impractical pale carpet.

Hahaha this did make me chuckle!

You’re an adult, not a dependent anymore. The dog is her dependent. If my kids told me I needed to prioritise them as adults when they’re doing fine, I’d be a bit . You have your life, your parents have theirs and you can both make choices that suit your own lives.

What colour would you go for? 😆

They should buy a bloody table then!

I don't see what the problem is with cream carpets.

Previously I rented a place with cream carpets. I lived there fir 5 years, and they were pristine with no stains when I left (very easy when you've no kids or pets and don't wear shoes indoors).

I now have my own house, with cream/light beige carpets. I've toddler twins. Again the carpets are pristine. No shoes indoors, and the children only eat in the kitchen (hardwood floors).

I'd never allow a dog on my carpets- if someone with a dog visited, the dog could stay in the kitchen.

But being as you have a table in your kitchen, I see no issue with sitting in there. If your mum won’t compromise on that, I think the relationship probably won’t go that well going forward. We all have to make allowances to keep relationships and if she’s not willing to do that, there’s not much you can do.

@PickAChew

not everyone wants a dreary house

You think everyone can magic up the money and the space for that. Fucking hell. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Apollonia1

totally agree with you

youll get accused of child cruelty on here though for not allowing your children to eat and drink wherever they want in your house

How about a cheap rug you can put down for the dog when they’re over, presuming you’re just sitting there chatting? Dogs usually just lie down and get comfy if everyone’s in the same room 🤷‍♀️

@WildNights

you can get cheap foldaway tables from somewhere like b&m or Wilkos
and it’ll actually save you money in long run as eating at a table is less likely to result in spillages on carpet

@WildNights

even though she do is no longer a dependent she should still be more important to her mother than a dog.

dog will not be harmed by staying at home or in kitchen

This is like the new home owner version of precious first born 😆 OP you will look back one day and wonder why you made a fuss.

Can any dog lovers please explain why the dog being left home for a couple of hours whilst parents visit OP or dog coming with but staying in kitchen would be so affronting?

it is not causing any harm whatsoever to the dog

Actually no, it doesn’t mean that for everyone.

I wonder actually if said preciousness about your new home and furnishings means your parents don’t feel comfortable and they’d prefer you visit them than have the stress and worry of putting a hair out of place. I know I’d feel very on edge visiting someone’s home who had so many rules and was obviously so into maintaining a show home sort of place. I have dyspraxia and ADHD and I’m always the one who knocks into something or spills or forgets to take shoes off. I don’t mean to, but a spotless house and extremely houseproud host would send my anxiety through the roof.

@TheUsualChaos

she might not. Lots of people become more house proud as they get older not less

You’re clueless as you how some people live. Even a cheap foldable table would be unaffordable to some. And some kitchens are tiny and wouldn’t fit a table. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I can’t leave one of my dogs alone. She was badly mistreated by her previous cunt of an owner and struggles with separation anxiety. It’s just not possible to leave her alone for more than half hour ish. She has to be in the same room as a human but as OP has a table in her kitchen, I see no issue with just sitting in the kitchen with her.

I actually have dyspraxia myself. My mum and dad got brand new luxury vinyl flooring because the dog weed on the carpet multiple times, so they too are very house proud. I will not be able to replace my carpet anytime soon because we spent all our savings on buying the house/paying for solicitors fees. I also completely understand that accidents happen - I would never berate anyone for knocking something or spilling something. But if I’m able to help the situation by not having the dog walk over the carpet, or people take their shoes off at the door, I will do that.