Parents won’t come round without the dog - but I have a brand new house, with a cream carpet

[rightonthemoney]

let me start this by saying I absolutely LOVE my parents dog - I was still at home when they got her, so I’m not completing detached from her!

Anyway, I’ve just moved into my first home with my partner, we live about 45 minutes away now from both sets of parents (the only affordable place left in our county.) My parents came round to see the house when we first got it, about three weeks ago, and I’ve invited them round to see the progress of it this weekend.

My mum said they want to come, but they’d like to bring the dog. I said they can bring her, but she’s not allowed on the carpet. I have a brand new home, with cream carpet. We have no pets or children, so it will stay clean, because I want it to. For reference, she’s a very hairy, smelly cocker spaniel. I’ve said the dog can come in the kitchen, but apparently that isn’t ok…

Anyway - they don’t want to leave the dog for hours on end, which is completely fair enough. However, they would be gone for four/five hours MAX. Plus, my 30 year old brother lives at home! I got frustrated with my mum and this is verbatim the text she sent: “I don’t want her to be alone. Minimum of 50 mins to you, and back so that leaves a couple of hours max at yours….simple, you come here 😊”

Am I being unreasonable?! Just the way she worded the text, expecting me to drive 50 minutes away because of the dog, even though I have invited them to mine. I don’t mind driving to them, but it’s the principle.

Am I going to spend my whole life only travelling to them because they have a dog? 🤦🏻‍♀️ Really needed to vent because I’m so angry!

@ReadyToMoveIt

Maybe so.

OP’s parents will just have to stay at home with their pooch then won’t they, and miss out on spending time with their daughter in her new home 🤷‍♀️

Their loss!

Well yeah, not disputing that. Just baffled by all the people saying ‘your brother lives there so the dog won’t be alone’. People often go out!

I often am, trust me 😂 I tend to eat/drink anything other than water in the kitchen hahaha

If your carpets are pure wool they will survive a dog.

If you bought a cream synthetic carpet, you have bigger problems to come.

Your not being unreasonable to not want the dog in your house for whatever reason you deem fit. Cream carpets or not it’s your home. Likewise I suppose your mum is free to not visit because she doesn’t want to leave her dog!

FWIW my DH has a friend who now refuses to visit without his dog. Cute dog small but he treats it like a baby (so it’s naughty, not that he thinks it is) and fed it off my brand new sofa, dog saliva everywhere. I was not impressed but let it slide and didn’t say anything as decided I was being precious.

Last time he visited though the dog took a huge piss on the rug (he had taken the dog out for a wee but hadn’t bothered to watch to see if it did as it was cold) dog didn’t pee outside presumably due to lack of owner and cold. Dog came into the warm and peed on my new rug (I purchased new because I have babies who like to roll around on it) I discovered this pee by standing on my sopping wet rug while holding a baby I was just about to put down. Very lucky for him and the dog that I just so happened to stand where the dog had peed as due to the type and style of rug it wasn’t obvious to the eye, if I had put the baby down and then discovered it I would have absolutely hit the roof!!! That rug is now no longer in my living room! He says he wants to visit yet still insists on bringing his dog, I’ve said that dog will only be allowed in our hard floor conservatory (where no one sits) and nowhere else and if he wants to visit he will just have to deal with it. If I wanted to deal with a dog pissing on things I’d have my own bloody dog!

My parents are the same with their dog. Covid made it way worse. I just have them bring the dog because I want to see them and I want them to be comfortable. It's just a carpet but if it means that much to you probably best you visit them. For comparison, my mother in law has a massive room with a cream carpet. She has 6 grandchild and there are no rules. The carpet is 19 years old. I've been in this family 4 years. In that time there has been a nose bleed, coffee, our dog has peed on it, 3 dogs have pooped on it, red wine and a lot of tea, juice and kids sweets. My mother in law is an expert at cleaning it! And she doesn't give rats * when someone spills something. Carpets can be cleaned she says and carries on playing with her grandkids/dogs.

Lol at all the fucking dog people who reckon their precious mutts trump everything else …
Op, put your foot down - I have - my parents are very much like this and yet their dogs have never set foot in my house. You usually only have to insist a few times before they get the message and don't bring them, or even try to.
And I've had a cream carpet with 4 kids living on it for 10+ years. Had it cleaned professionally 3 times and the most recent cleaner couldn't believe it was 10 years old and in such good nick.

I wouldn't assume I could take my dog to someone else's home - but equally having a dog is restrictive and I wouldn't be willing to leave mine for hours to go and visit family either.

On the other hand - if my parents had a dog I loved and I knew they liked to bring him places, I wouldn't then go and pick out a cream carpet knowing it would mean they couldn't bring the dog and I'd see them a lot less as a result.

I think some posters are missing where OP said her parents can bring the dog but it has to stay in the kitchen.

OP I have a (small well behaved non smelly) dog but my MIL isn't allowed to bring one of her dogs here because he's smelly and completely wild. It's caused some arguments but she's accepted it now.

Don't go over it with your parents, just let your rules stand and continue to invite them. One of you will give in at some point!

It’s your house, your rules…. I get that it’s nice and new and you want it to stay that way for as long as possible, but if you want it to be that way, you’re probably best not to have any visitors at all. Dogs aren’t the only messy ones, I have 2 young kids that are twice more likely to cause mess than my dog… but no one’s ever told me I can’t bring them with me to their home.

I put socks on my dog after he's been outside to keep the floors clean... Couldn't you just ask them to do that?

I'd compromise by allowing the dog access to one room leading off the kitchen; that one room should have all carpet (or most of it) covered with old rugs or suchlike. You can also get carpet runners from B&M I think. Limit the dog's presence to one extra room - final offer.

I’d never stop people from bringing their children to my home.. I have small nephews of my own. I also do want my own children on day. However, for now, I don’t want a dog walking all over my brand new carpet.

Good idea, actually! Thank you. I’d be very open to this.

Invite them round but cover the carpets in thick plastic overlay.

You could keep it in the shed and reuse for any visitors with dogs/children 😄!

Op, you don't have to justify why etc that you don't want dogs in your house. You have every right to have a clean and peaceful home. Just say no

Your parents are fucking rude. I would not give into this and I sure as hell wouldn't visit them. The lack of respect they have for you, and your home, is shocking.

OP hasn't said the can't bring the dog, only that she won't allow it in the living room. This isn't good enough for the parents, so in OPs shoes I'd give the whole thing a kiss. The parents need to get some perspective and stop putting their dog ahead of their relationships!
Maybe OP doesn't view it as part of her family?

Thank you! Exactly, I have a heart 😂 I love the dog - I don’t see the issue with keeping her in the kitchen where there is hard flooring. They always bring her bed, too. Also, they keep her in the kitchen when she has wet/muddy paws.

I don’t see why they can’t leave the dog, or keep it in the kitchen.

But I’m not really understanding what you think the dog will do to your carpet? If they’re coming by car, it’s presumably a fairly clean dry dog...

Get some wipes and clean it's paws when they arrive.

FGS, it doesn't matter what the op thinks might happen to her carpets. All that matters is she doesn't want a dog on them. She doesn't have to justify this to anyone, not even her entitled, rude parents.

Fair point - however they always take her on a fairly long, morning walk, where she gets quite muddy. Especially with the rain we have been having. That is what puts me off - and they can’t not walk her.