Parents won’t come round without the dog - but I have a brand new house, with a cream carpet

[rightonthemoney]

let me start this by saying I absolutely LOVE my parents dog - I was still at home when they got her, so I’m not completing detached from her!

Anyway, I’ve just moved into my first home with my partner, we live about 45 minutes away now from both sets of parents (the only affordable place left in our county.) My parents came round to see the house when we first got it, about three weeks ago, and I’ve invited them round to see the progress of it this weekend.

My mum said they want to come, but they’d like to bring the dog. I said they can bring her, but she’s not allowed on the carpet. I have a brand new home, with cream carpet. We have no pets or children, so it will stay clean, because I want it to. For reference, she’s a very hairy, smelly cocker spaniel. I’ve said the dog can come in the kitchen, but apparently that isn’t ok…

Anyway - they don’t want to leave the dog for hours on end, which is completely fair enough. However, they would be gone for four/five hours MAX. Plus, my 30 year old brother lives at home! I got frustrated with my mum and this is verbatim the text she sent: “I don’t want her to be alone. Minimum of 50 mins to you, and back so that leaves a couple of hours max at yours….simple, you come here 😊”

Am I being unreasonable?! Just the way she worded the text, expecting me to drive 50 minutes away because of the dog, even though I have invited them to mine. I don’t mind driving to them, but it’s the principle.

Am I going to spend my whole life only travelling to them because they have a dog? 🤦🏻‍♀️ Really needed to vent because I’m so angry!

[Soupercat]

My god. You’ll do cringe at this in a years time. Totally precious

[Soupercat]

You’re a sacrifice in human relationships for a fucking carpet

[User3568975431146]

@LuckySantangelo35

@User3568975431146

The dog is part of your family and to be honest she's probably pretty far down the ladder of what will happen to your carpet over time.

Like what? What will happen to her carpet over time? Are you assuming OP will have kids? How invested in the patriarchy are you?!

What on earth are you talking about!! Where does the patriarchy come into it? I really have no clue what you're rattling on about.

A dog that belongs to parents almost an hour away is probably not going to be a daily or maybe even a weekly visitor.
Meanwhile when carrying out the activity of living your life, spillages and accidents happen, friends come round, forget to or don't remove shoes, drop something or whatever. Life happens.

Now maybe you can get off whatever high horse you may be on and stop looking for an argument 😘

[violetbunny]

I just had new carpet laid. No way would I have someone's dog over.
What would they do if you had a cat?

[rightonthemoney]

I don’t mind it, no. It’s my hometown but what concerns me is that this is going to become a habit. Also - last time my parents came round they spent the entire time stressing over leaving the dog who was at home with my brother. It doesn’t matter if someone is with her or not! It was a big moment - I’m the first child to buy a house and all they could comment on was the fact they had left the dog for more than two hours.

[ReadyToMoveIt]

Just because your brother lives there it doesn’t mean he’s actually going to be there, does it? I assume he’s got a life?
Anyway… I have cream carpets and a dog 😂. And 3 young kids. They were here when we moved in and were too good quality to replace. We’ve been here for 5 years with said dog and children (one born since we moved here) and the carpets are still clean and nice. As long as the dog hadn’t got muddy paws what do you think he’s going to do? Hair can be hoovered.

[rightonthemoney]

Yeah, I probably will, in fairness 😅 can’t a girl have a nice, beautiful carpet and enjoy it for a bit 😂

[Nevergoingtobemrsjones]

I once had a friend get arsey with me for asking her not to bring her dog round
i don’t have cream carpets-I do however have things like a fabric sofa and last time she brought him round,I opened the door,was hit with the most awful smell and he shot past me and onto my sofa-rolling round on it
turned out he’d been rolling round in fox shit on the way to mine
she thought it was hilarious
I did not and he’s not welcome anymore

i get it with cream carpets-and your not being unreasonable-your house,your carpet,your rules
your brother can have him-I adore dogs but I won’t have them on fabric/carpets (I only have carpet upstairs) in my house

[rightonthemoney]

Because she’s their dog, she isn’t a child. Plus, I have an older brother who is quite capable of keeping her alive for a few hours 😳

[dummyd]

A dog is part of the family, your family. What if your brother had kids,, kids can be smelly and dribbly and messy too, would you ban them from the living room?

It is not the same and children do not smell anywhere near as much as an unwashed dog🤮

[Vikinga]

Haha, really should not have gotten a cream carpet. Is it wipeable?

[dummyd]

And the dogs feelings won't be hurt if it doesn't come.

[romdowa]

Honestly leave them off , it's a dog not a 2 week old infant 🙄🙄 people treating dogs like babies is so bloody annoying! Your house and your rules! You are more than entitled to enjoy your cream carpet and not have someone else's smelly dog ruining it

[lisavanderpumpscloset]

Couldn't the dog stay outside? What's wrong with it staying in the kitchen as proposed?

[LuckySantangelo35]

@bellac11

Are you on drugs? What on earth are you on about?

@bellac11

Haha no I am not on drugs.

just find it funny that you seem to think carpet will be subjected to worse than what OP describes as a hairy smelly dog - like what? Op has already said it’s just her and her partner who are tidy. Realistically at this time there isn’t much worse for the carpet than this dog

[watchingrnfire]

Yanbu - it's a bloody pain cleaning light coloured carpets!! Your mum is being difficult, the dog won't be alone. She has zero respect for your home already.

[Wolfiefan]

I have two great big hounds. I wouldn’t dream of insisting they came with me when I visited relatives. That’s mad!
If they won’t leave the dog in daycare/kennels/with the fully functioning adult who lives with it then I guess they won’t be coming over. 🤷‍♀️
That is their choice.

[bellac11]

@dummyd

A dog is part of the family, your family. What if your brother had kids,, kids can be smelly and dribbly and messy too, would you ban them from the living room?

It is not the same and children do not smell anywhere near as much as an unwashed dog🤮

Hence me suggesting that the dog is washed before the visit

And just answering another point from another poster, a dog is not going to bring juice (or coffee) into the living room.

[JayAlfredPrufrock]

get over yourself.

it’s a carpet.

dog walks from car to carpet.

is your driveway particularly muddy?

[Dogsinpajamas]

I have 2 spaniels. They’re often dirty as I don’t bath them after every walk.
I would never expect to take them with me to someone else’s home, even my dds unless we were staying there.
Dogs can be left for 5 hours, as long as they’ve had some attention and exercise, many are left for longer than that every day if owners work.

[ReadyToMoveIt]

Why is everyone assuming the 30 year old brother will actually be at home? He might not want to stay at home all day looking after the dog! He may have plans.

[Nidan2Sandan]

Dogs stink, whether they are bathed and groomed or not. They just have a dog smell so no chance I'd be letting my friends or family bring their dog into my house no matter how much I love them......and my family/friends.

No one wants dog stench on a new carpet, sadly dog owners cant smell their own dog. They go nose blind to it.

[Sittingonabench]

You are framing it as they are choosing dog over you but it seems you are choosing carpets over them. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to set your boundaries wherever you want. It’s also fine that they set theirs. You can accept that you meet somewhere other than your house - maybe in the middle at a pub that accepts dogs or once the novelty wares off you can shift your boundaries. You have no control over theirs

[JellyfishandShells]

I understand to some extent - after we recarpeted, I could hardly bear to walk on it for a couple of days. Then suddenly it was just a part of normal life.

My MIL decided to put cream carpeting down over the whole of their house - just before we visited on a three week trip ( abroad) with a 6mo baby and a 3yo. That was a surprise and somewhat tricky, though par for the course with her.

I felt a guilty relief when it was my sister in law who came in for it, having made black skid marks from shoe polish.

[jc12689]

A dog is part of the family.

People say that, but judging by the number of kennels there are around, a lot of people board their dogs when they go on holiday, so they're not really a proper part of the family are they?