Told him how I feel and he has not responded

[Cantthinkofaname24]

I have been dating a man for a while and I’ve told him that I have developed feelings. I just wanted to get it off my chest to him how I feel. He read the message late last night and has not replied. Now my anxiety is kicking in and I think I may of ruined things. What would you do?

He has took to completely blanking me now instead of just telling me that he does not feel the same

Ok block and delete. Next

OP, I would walk away at this point.

I would be inclined to send him one last text saying “well, your reaction has made it clear that you don’t feel the same as me, so it’s best we part company at this point. Hope things work out for you.”

Then walk away.

I’m not a fan of blocking people because IMO it’s unnecessary, but I would ignore any texts he sends.

Man, about 15 years older than woman hassles mid twenties into relationships for sex. Tells her his wife and he are not on good terms and she has moved out. It's exW's fault.

Run, and don't look back. Plus agree with go out with someone nearer your own age. At your age you should be going out with friends all night, clubbing and travelling. You shouldn't be going on dog walks with a divorced man who is nearly old enough to be your dad. Men who are 40 can't pull this crap with women their own age as most of them will pick up on their BS immediately as they have heard it all before.

Well, with this information, I’ll amend my list of reasons you need to bin him off.

Old (compared to 24)

Not yet divorced

You were spending your time doing boring shit like sitting at home. You should be out partying, you’re a baby still.

Slags off his wife

Was carrying on with you before His marriage allegedly ended

and….

He’s a manipulative cunt

You can do so much better than this, OP. Don’t become the mental plaything of a nasty, bitter man.

Don't send him anything. Block, delete, allow yourself time to grieve and then move on.

Any good honest decent person makes people in relationships with them feel good about themselves they build them up they don’t knock them down I’ll try to make them feel bad about anything at all ever.

you really do need to just work on yourself for a little while stay away from toerags especially old ones, what on earth did he have to offer you when you start breaking it down …. nothing but emotional baggage, probably no money when his divorce is finished and a lifetime of hassle and you having to deal with his children and his ex-wife.

Op, you seem vulnerable - is this really the best relationship you can have?

Dog walks for fucks sake 🙄
at your age I was sat in a cave watching the stars and the sunrise rural Western Australia with some hot fit surfer with abdominal muscles you could wash your face with.
Get yourself out into the world and start living

Dreeeeams. Me too. What is it about surfers?!

Have just read this thread and updates. I think you are right, he knew exactly what he was doing, he sounds quite manipulative. You were quite rightly hesitant to progress things with him and he made you feel guilty, shocking.

As others have said, he is in no position to have another relationship. I wonder why his wife left him?
Don't waste anymore time on him, keep yourself busy. Meet up with people, join clubs and do things you are interested in.

Maybe you need some support with your anxiety and self esteem, look after yourself. Plenty of others out there.

Run don’t walk.

He was lining you up before they officially split. But it’s definitely his wife’s fault the marriage ended?

He is just out of a marriage and wants to shag about. He doesn’t want to commit. Honestly, neither did I at that point. But I was clear about it. Was he clear it was just sex he was looking for?

Don’t waste anymore time on him.

He is much older than you and half divorced. He's looking for a nice ego boost and sex. Get rid of him - you didn't do anything wrong.

Don't assume the wife was the root cause of the split. Yes, she might have left, but there was likely a big backstory there. Which he conveniently airbrushed out.

Try to increase your confidence. You sound like a nice, caring person so you should feel valuable and confident. Don't sell yourself short. You deserve someone who is also nice and caring - don't accept less. And this man is less.

Take this as a lucky escape, OP. I've been in a similar position (younger, man recently separated, bitter about his ex) and was really naive about things. I can look back bow ans see how pathetic he was. This guy isn't for you, it's all way too complicated, and he'll dangle you on a string for his own purposes.

And do not think that you ruined things. The message you sent was sweet. He ignored it - so he ruined things, not you.

@Andromachehadabadday he wasn’t clear he said it wasn’t just about the sex as he could get that from somewhere else. He said if it was just sex he wouldn’t still be trying to convince me to see him!

Thank you for all the kind words, it has really helped.

That makes no sense though.

He would want to see you wether it was about sex or about something more.

At beat, he isn’t ready to to give you anything above a casual relationship.

at worst, which is more likely, he is stringing you along and lying his arse off. I would bet money he is feeding you loads of lies, though.

You deserve better than this.

He is telling you that. Time to move on and block..

have you heard from him today op?

she left apparently but she apparently was also the cause

He would say that, wouldn't he?

Reading your updates, no wonder his wife left. He sounds absolutely horrible.

Delete, block, move on. Your feelings are based on a notion, not a person. He basically emotionally blackmailed you into a relationship.

Now go and get some therapy, you deserve much much more than this.

So, you're 24 and anxious, and he's 39? I think he's grooming you to be his ever obedient girlfriend, and the games and manipulation have now begun.

If he felt for you at all, he would have acknowledged your message (even if he didn't feel the same yet).

I have a daughter your age. You are far too young to date a man who is almost 40. He will tie you up in knots, and in the end you'll become his carer. Get out now.

I had anxiety in my late teens/early 20s and might've done something similar to this, in fact at 18/19 I was meeting men who were 30/early 30s and I hate to say it, men of that age (and older) are generally on a different wave length/more mature than younger women.

This man sounds awful and you need to get away from him but as others like @KateMcCallister have said I'd suggest some therapy so you reset your boundaries and can meet normal people. You should be having fun (what I did as well as boyfriends) in my mid twenties not dog walking etc with a much older man!

The last message he sent was last night 8pm but he was just giving one word answers to me. Haven’t heard anything since. Wish I didn’t fall for all of this