To think she should stay home with her child

[HomeSick2]

I'm home with a sick 1 year old who's unable to go to nursery, I've been off work Monday Tuesday and today because of this.

It's my DSDs time with her mum today, tomorrow and Friday (50:50) and she has rang my husband this morning at work to say DSD is poorly and can I look after her as I'm off work anyway and she has to go to work (erm so do I?!)

I've said no.

Firstly, it sounds like DSD has something different she's vomitting whereas DS has Covid like symptoms (although negative test). No sick but temp, cough, cold, and very clingy, and no sleep 😭. Could be the same thing but doesn't sound it and no way I want DS getting something else on top if I can help it nor do I want to spend the day clearing up another child's sick when I'm already knackered.

And secondly, her mum has made our life difficult on so many occasions I just have no interest in doing anything for her tbh.

I've said to DH she should take the day off herself for her child like I've had to with DS, considering its her day too.

Or your DH could take the day off and mind both his children.

Not wanting 2 potentially infectious children under the same roof is not U , no.

Your attitude to your step-daughter's mother, however, is.

Maybe your husband, the father could step up?

I was thinking your were being unreasonable right up until the vomitting bit. I wouldn't go anywhere near a sickness bug! But had she been off with similar symptoms to your son, you were already off anyway it would have made total sense for her to come to you.

It’s not up to you to look after their child, and I wouldn’t want my child potentially picking up another bug.

I would never look after a vomiting child that wasn’t my own but will admit I struggle with vomit!

I like to think I’d help where I could with my own stepchildren. I would probably say yes.

HOWEVER- I totally agree that your husband should do it! Why are you having three days off? He should be sharing.

Why can’t your DH take a day off work to look after his two poorly DC -assuming the baby is also his child?

If she's vomiting then it's probably best she stays home so as not to pass it on.

However I notice there is no mention of your husband taking time off work for either child. Why should it always be the woman taking time off?

Waiting for some gubbins about your DH's job being far too important for him to take time off.

If they had the same symptoms then far enough I'd have them both if I had to be off anyway. As they don't then no, I wouldn't want to risk them passing on different illnesses to each other if I didn't have to

Why should dad do it? If it's 50:50 then surely he has to be off if the child is ill on his days. If she's ill on the mothers days then it's on her

If it wasn't a vomiting bug then I'd say YABU, but one year olds can go downhill fast with vomiting on top of other illnesses, so YANBU.

DSDs parents should be sorting her care between them without involving you. I wouldn't be looking after a vomitting child if I didn't have to either. Inviting a stomach bug into your home is asking for trouble.

I can't imagine DSD wants to be pulled from pillar to post when she is yacking up either. Poor kid. Grown ups rowing about who looks after her.

Not unreasonable. If it was DH home, then it's his call, but you're not her mother.

Clearly different bugs also which would also make me say no.

Her attitude would make me resentful of helping out, but I would if the bug was the same.

I would also say no, especially as its a sick bug as yours would be bound to get it.
Yes it's a pain having to take time off work but tough luck that's what being a parent is about!

So don't feel about bad about saying no plus if she makes things difficult for you at times then nows yr chance for payback 😆

I voted YABU because I'm wondering why your husband has seemingly no responsibility for either of his children?

What an immature attitude. Embarrassing. Grow up.

Yep, you've had 3 days off work, when is it his turn?

Ime these things need discussing early on in the relationship. We agreed any illness and the dc would stay put /not mix. I had dc, and dsc but no joint dc... Made things much easier and no bickering!

Love how your DH has the mothers of his kids in an internal squabble. What day is he taking/taken off this week? Then you can both work?

I'd help If they had the same symptoms.
But not in this instance.
This is up to your DH to deal with.

My husband does his fair share. They were both off with Covid a few months ago and he stayed home the whole time as I had a big project at work so was really busy. My work has calmed a little since then so I've stayed home this time.

Not sure why my husband needs to have DSD, it's mums time (he had her during mum's time when she had Covid the other month so it wouldn't be passed on to mum which was understandable).

My attitude toward my stepchilds mother is the way it is because she's not a nice person. She's been absolutely horrid to me in the past and is so difficult at any opportunity. Except when she wants something. She's a very selfish person. I don't think I have to like her just because she's DSDs mum do I? We get on face to face in front of DSD which I do for her but I've no interest in being friendly or doing favours for her outside of that. Trust me it would never be returned!

Dh should be taking the day off to look after both of his children!

Why are you having to take 3 days off, and similarly dsd's mother?

You are both focused on the wrong thing, meanwhile dh's career remains totally uninterrupted and he skips away without a care in the world, despite being the father to both children. Grotesquely unfair.

Even if they both had the same bug you wouldn’t be obliged to look after your step-daughter (although it would be a nice thing to do) but as it sounds very much like a different bug I don’t blame you for saying no, especially if she’s of an age where she can’t be trusted to make it to the toilet to be sick, etc.

It does seem a bit unfair that you’ve had 3 days of work to look after your son and your husband hasn’t had any though. Unless you know he’s going to be off for the rest of the week so your husband is doing Thursday and Friday?

I would have said no even with the same symptoms tbh. I'm exhausted as it is (coming down with it myself and a none sleeping 1 year old!).

I would have said no even with the same symptoms tbh. I'm exhausted as it is (coming down with it myself and a none sleeping 1 year old!).