To think my mothers entitlement is astonishing

[Worryinglyworried73]

My parents divorced and both remarried when I was a teen (I am now in my late 40’s). My dad is ill and about to pass away and I stand to inherit a chunk of money. I live in a rented flat & have never owned a home so will likely try to buy somewhere using my inheritance as a deposit.

Cue my mother who somehow thinks she has a stake in that money. She basically said that she hopes I will give her some money as my father didn’t give her enough when when they separated for me in terms of maintenance. it’s like she can see pound signs.

Aibu to think WTF? She had an inheritance from my grandparents & didn’t give me a penny of that - her & my stepfather bought a new car & had some nice holidays. They own their home outright.

I feel so outraged to be honest.

Yep, that's an astonishing level of cheeky fuckery. She can jog on.

I'm sorry for your loss.

YANBU at all. Ignore.

Yep 100% agree with you OP, that money is completely yours

Ignore. I cannot even believe she'd ask. Maybe remind her that she gave you nothing if she brings it up again.

Just laugh - and say Don't be bloody ridiculous! You inherited from your own parents and didn't give me a penny. Anything I get from Dad won't be coming your way.

Totally ignore. That's incredible! Asking an adult child to top up maintenance from their childhood is outrageous.

I wouldn't be saying anything. Just ignore her and do your thing.

If she brings it up again ,tell her you'll repay what she gave you from her inheritance.

Blank. Just keep blanking.

It’s also outrageous because your poor Dad is currently still alive. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, OP. Inheritances can bring out the worst of people at the very worst time.

just ignore her.
no wonder they divorced.
best not to think about her.
a difficult time for you.
all the best.

I can see both sides tbh. My x lives in a house worth a million pounds. I've raised the kids on my own and he has to be honest completely capitalised on the fact that I am more selfless, more responsible, I see their needs as no different from my own. He has relaxed safe in the knowledge that he could screw ME financially and still know the DC were ok

When he dies I suppose he will pass his wealth on to my children. Perhaps. I made a lot of sacrifices to make sure that they had braces, maths grinds, everything important that would ensure that they weren't disadvantaged in their futures I made that happen. I'm about to spend 60 euro per week on therapy for my dc1 ( an adult) because her father has upset her with his lack of emotional maturity (she definitely is more emotionally intelligent).

I think if her father left her some money she would give me some. I think she would just want to? I could be wrong about that though. If the day comes and she doesn't, i would say nothing i would do nothing !!!

It’s not even like they aren’t well off in retirement- they are fine. It just seems such a bloody bizarre thing to ask but I think it’s related to the fact that my Dad went on to be quite successful & somehow she feels hard done by from 30 odd years ago. Fucks sake

Wow, that's taking CF to the next level. Totally ignore and if she asks tell her the truth as you have here. She received inheritance from her parents and you saw none of it. His and her financial maintenance details have nothing to do with you and are long past. You are not obliged to tell her how much you get or give her a penny.

This will 100% be my mother when my father dies. They divorced in 1987 and she has never gotten over it.

My mum did this. None of us siblings gave her anything. Split three ways it was just enough for house deposits for all of us. She remarried and owned outright while we were all renting. She still brings it up saying she feels like she should have got it all because it was money they made when they were together. Stand firm and be prepared for her to mention it for the rest of time. Also 💐 for the loss of your dad.

@Mycatsgoldtooth that’s really interesting that it’s not a totally unusual request

''Fucks sake''

Seriously?

It sounds like the financial sacrifices of raising her / your father's child (ren) were not equal and no doubt the free time was not equal either. So she had most of the child care I'm guessing? And the lion's share of the financial sacrifices? During ''the best years'' of her life. It can be very difficult to get back in to the work place as a ''mum returner'' (somebody did call me that, a recruitment agent).

Even if you give her nothing which is your absolute prerogative, dismissing her desire to see the sacrifices of parenting equalised retrospectively with a dismissive ''fucks sake'' is really lacking in empathy.

Was the house or whatever assets your father has left you originally a maritial asset that he kept? Should she have had half of whatever he kept back in the day but for whatever reason didn't get it? If so, I wouldn't necessarily give her it now but if you have just sold a house that she half paid for but he kept I would be a bit more understanding about why she thinks you may give her some.

@Worryinglyworried73 it’s a shame as I like my mum but she is very entitled in lots of ways.

Don't blank. She will keep circling back to it. Go for one of the other options, either offer to repay what she gave you from her inheritance or use the "don't be rediculous ...etc" solution.

She had half the marital home as a payout when they separated and both remarried.@EmotionBot9to5 I actually think she’s being wildly entitled. She left my dad & they divorced & she got half the house & bought another one. She remarried 2 years later.

YABU imo. I find a lot of women your mother's age are entitled so it's not astonishing, god bless the babyboomers . Don't give her a brass farthing nonetheless.

Wow
That's next level greed and venality
Sorry about your dad x

Christ, no.
Not a brass farthing!