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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you are an only child…

188 replies

Organictangerine · 14/05/2022 22:22

Would you have preferred a sibling(s)?

No agenda here
I have an only myself at the moment
I have lots of siblings
Just interested to know the experiences of others

OP posts:
chisanunian · 14/05/2022 22:24

Impossible to say, because I've never had one, so I wouldn't know whether I'd prefer it or not.

Original poster
Organictangerine · 14/05/2022 22:25

Well no, obviously, but I haven’t been to South America but I know I would like to go. It’s just an abstract discussion, you don’t need to have lived 2 lives one as an only and one with siblings to join in 😂

OP posts:
Tee20x · 14/05/2022 22:28

I was an only child for 13 years - having a sibling is neither here nor there for me. May have made more of a difference if we had grown up together but by the time they came along I basically had my own life.

HyacinthsHydrangeas · 14/05/2022 22:28

I'm an only child. I loved it. I always looked on people who had siblings with immense pity when I was growing up. (I don't feel pity for them now! But I did at the time.) I liked being an only then, and I like it just fine now. My DS (4) is also an only.

Howtohelp1234 · 14/05/2022 22:28

I never missed one as a child, I had loads of friends and still love my own company. I do feel a bit lonely now my parents are facing health issues and I’m on my own dealing with it all.

Pleasegodgotosleep · 14/05/2022 22:30

DH is an only, also had no cousins etc so no one at all his own age. He says he didn't feel like he was missing anything as he didn't know any different but he is glad we have 2 DDs when he sees them together. He lost his dad recently and really feels the pressure/loss as an only. No-one to share happy memories with and no-one to share decision making/responsibility of looking after his mum.

GiltEdges · 14/05/2022 22:30

No. I'd have hated a sibling.

Summerholidayorcovidagain · 14/05/2022 22:32

I am an only dc and hated it.. Hate it as an adult too.
I over compensated and gave my pfb 10 siblings...

Magissa · 14/05/2022 22:34

I am an only child. Growing up I would have loved a sibling. When I first went to secondary school I made up an older sister. I was the only only child I knew.

FiveShelties · 14/05/2022 22:34

I loved being an only child, never missed having a sibling.

UnintentionallyRidiculous · 14/05/2022 22:34

My DH is an only, whereas I'm one of 5. He doesn't feel he missed out at all. He had a great childhood - me however, that's a different story.

Stripey3000 · 14/05/2022 22:34

Nope! Loved being an only and still do.

XelaM · 14/05/2022 22:34

I was an only child for 10 years before my younger brother came along. I must say I really didn't like it when he was born and my parents focused their attention on him. We weren't close but get on well. Now that he's 26 I'm very proud of him, as he's an absolute high-flyer and over-achiever, so I tell everyone proudly of my brother's achievements.

My daughter is an only child and tells me she really doesn't want a sibling (I think she'd be quite jealous as she's even jealous of the dog 🤣)

Pineapplepine · 14/05/2022 22:35

I was an only child until I was 7 and desperately wanted a sibling. Then I got 2. I was happier with them but always wished we were closer in age so I could play with them

Hugasauras · 14/05/2022 22:35

No, I would not have liked that at all. I loved being an only and still do!

DinosaursEatMan · 14/05/2022 22:35

I hated it and always wanted a sibling. That’s one of the main reasons why I have more than one dc.

User3568975431146 · 14/05/2022 22:36

Without question.
If you'd asked me as a child then I'd probably have said that I was fine as an only child, but as I've got older I have no one to share experiences with, check things out with and share worries or problems about my parents with. No shared history and no one that knows my parents as I do.

If people can have more than one child, I'd ask them to definitely do it.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 14/05/2022 22:37

I loved being an only child. Now as an adult with my one remaining parent drifting away with dementia I don't feel I am missing anything. I have seen enough of friends struggling to care for parents without the support of siblings to know that it would not necessarily help. I have a cousin I am very close to and very supportive friends and my husband and children of course. But having a sibling would not make caring easier.

Datsandcogs · 14/05/2022 22:37

I was a lonely only as a child and with a very small family I’m still very isolated as an adult. There’s no coincidence that I have more than one child.

TokyoSushi · 14/05/2022 22:38

I'm an only, I was ok with it but now that I have 2 DC I can see what h missed out on!

I also wish I had a sibling now, for example I know lots of people who spend loads of time with their sister and the DC and I'd like that. I do fully understand that you're not guaranteed to have a sister that you get on with, or even a sister at all!

TLDR was fine when I was a child, but looking back, and now, I'd have preferred a sibling.

Whydothat · 14/05/2022 22:38

Hated being an only as a child. Would still have preferred siblings now I'm an adult.
Always wanted more than one child due to this and was lucky enough to do so.

titchy · 14/05/2022 22:39

Have always wanted a sibling. And two parents. And aunts and uncles.

My dcs have all of the above.

TokyoSushi · 14/05/2022 22:39

Yes agree, it's the reason I definitely wanted more than one.

glebaisaword · 14/05/2022 22:39

I'm an only and it never bothered me at all as a child, I was confident and just made friends. However as an adult after watching my mum and her 2 siblings caring for both their elderly parents through degenerative illnesses, I do wonder how I'll be able to cope if anything similar happens with my mum when it's just all on me. Bit morbid to think that way I know, but I'm glad my dc have each other and hopefully they'll be lifelong friends and support each other with any decisions that need to be made in future.

titchy · 14/05/2022 22:39

titchy · 14/05/2022 22:39

Have always wanted a sibling. And two parents. And aunts and uncles.

My dcs have all of the above.

And paragraphs!!!!