Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you are an only child…

188 replies

Organictangerine · 14/05/2022 22:22

Would you have preferred a sibling(s)?

No agenda here
I have an only myself at the moment
I have lots of siblings
Just interested to know the experiences of others

OP posts:
newtb · 15/05/2022 15:58

I'd have liked one to share thé stress of a toxic mother. But, they would've probably been thé golden child' which would've made life shittier.

FrodisCapering · 15/05/2022 16:01

I am an only child. I have three cousins but never saw them growing up because of a family feud.

One uncle. As above, didn't see him because of the falling out.

I absolutely hated it.
As soon as my first child was born, I said I wanted another as soon as possible...I actually said that in theatre after a traumatic birth!

We have two, and would've had at least two more had we met earlier.

Ringo11 · 15/05/2022 17:05

FrodisCapering · 15/05/2022 16:01

I am an only child. I have three cousins but never saw them growing up because of a family feud.

One uncle. As above, didn't see him because of the falling out.

I absolutely hated it.
As soon as my first child was born, I said I wanted another as soon as possible...I actually said that in theatre after a traumatic birth!

We have two, and would've had at least two more had we met earlier.

@FrodisCapering apart from the family feud bit, I could have written that myself. Exactly the same, two children, first birth majorly traumatic but still keen to go for a second. Also mid thirties now so that will be it but would have considered more possibly.

FrodisCapering · 15/05/2022 20:51

@Ringo11 if you want more you have time! I had my two at 41 and 43, so cutting it really fine!!

MrsTrue · 15/05/2022 21:23

Sorry to say, but I'm in the hate it club, despite having a lot of cousins that are a similar age to me. Holidays were always boring (unless we stayed in an all inclusive package holiday type thing, but even then it was hard sometimes to find people to play with) and now as an adult everything falls on me. Neither of my parents are particularly well in themselves and I live 3+ hours away... the guilt I've been made to feel as a result of moving away (nearly 15 years ago!) still continues and I genuinely don't know what I'll do when their health starts to deteriorate. That said, I understand why they only had one... they couldn't afford another child, and they'd suffered losses before having me. The upside is that I think I put a lot more effort into friendships when growing up and still have friends from my childhood that I'm very close to... I swear being an only child has given me that.

Roastonsun8 · 16/05/2022 15:50

@MrsTrue your parents perhaps didn't book the correct types of holidays. It's only me and DS that travel and we have been doing it solo since 18months. If you book places with a waterpark there's always kids to play with in fact it's fascinating that kids just mingle so easily!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 16/05/2022 17:07

I've noticed that a lot of only children who dislike it, have PARENTS that were the problem. My mum never makes me feel guilty for having my own life, or smothered me. I don't think it's being an only that's the issue, it's how your parents deal with it.

Jealousofchiliheeler · 16/05/2022 17:29

I honestly think it can be just as lonely having a sibling. I have one older brother, we're not close - no real drama or reason, we're just very different people. All our contact comes through our Mum, which weirdly means we have no reason to speak directly. I don't really feel like I've benefitted from the relationship. Now that parents are getting older I don't feel like he will in anyway share the load, even though he lives much closer!

PailOfOdo · 16/05/2022 19:11

Waxonwaxoff0 · 16/05/2022 17:07

I've noticed that a lot of only children who dislike it, have PARENTS that were the problem. My mum never makes me feel guilty for having my own life, or smothered me. I don't think it's being an only that's the issue, it's how your parents deal with it.

A thousand times this. I understand how it would be lonely at times or how someone would prefer to have a sibling but if you were "utterly miserable" or desperately lonely throughout your childhood then I'd hazard then there were worse things going on then lack of sibling.

FrodisCapering · 16/05/2022 19:16

Yes, I'd say you definitely have a point about parental issues.

For me though, the hatred of being an only really struck me when I was about 14. My best friend at the time was one of three, and I was always conscious that I didn't have a "tribe" like she did. There was nobody to back me up, nobody who looked a bit like me, no shared experiences going back years. I was always on the periphery, and I felt it, and it hurt.

Overthewine · 16/05/2022 19:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

TomAllenWife · 16/05/2022 19:19

Yes I would have liked a sibling

To share the load of my hideous narcissistic mother
It's hard being the only one

Louise0701 · 16/05/2022 19:23

@Overthewine what were the age gaps?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread