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Original poster

Expected to share a hotel room with a colleague

265 replies

Mauhhq · 14/05/2022 09:52

We have our annual company work conference abroad in July for 4 nights, and everyone in the company is expected to share a hotel room with a colleague, I know they do it to cut costs and for team building reasons, but I am feeling extremely uncomfortable about room sharing.

I am an introvert and need time to unwind and recharge my battery in my own space. I suffer from insomnia especially in a new environment. I also have my own bedtime and morning routines that I don’t want others to know, it would make me feel uncomfortable going to the bathroom.

Everyone can pick their roommates, the worst part is - all the female colleagues in my team have found their roommates and paired up apart from me, the head of the department and two new starters I have never met.

There is a 50/50 chance that I will either share with the head of the department, she is a nice person, however it means I will always have to be in the “work mode” 24/7, I prefer keeping a professional distance rather than getting to know her at a personal level. Or I might share with a new starter who is a complete stranger.

I could find an excuse not to go, but there is a lot of pressure from my manager and everyone else I know is going and no one has dropped out. No one has complained but a lot of people in my team are very young in their 20s.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 14/05/2022 09:54

Well you have to suck it up for a couple of days or offer to pay the extra for your own room.
I wouldn’t say you’re not going, I doubt that would look good to your bosses.

PaddlingLikeADuck · 14/05/2022 09:55

I was in this situation so I just paid to have my own room. Paying for it was worth the privacy because there was no way I was going to share with anyone.

Cant you just do that?

123rd · 14/05/2022 09:55

Wouldn't go but tell the company the real reason you don't want to go or offer to pay half towards a room of your own

toomuchlaundry · 14/05/2022 09:56

I would pay for my own room or not go

Resilience9to5 · 14/05/2022 09:57

PaddlingLikeADuck · 14/05/2022 09:55

I was in this situation so I just paid to have my own room. Paying for it was worth the privacy because there was no way I was going to share with anyone.

Cant you just do that?

I'd probably do this as well.

It's a bit mallory towers that you're all expected to pair up and share a room with colleagues. Bit cheap that it's an expectation.

Cherrysoup · 14/05/2022 09:57

If it’s not obligatory by the sounds of it, just say you aren’t going. No way would I share a room. I do trips and I insist that every adult has their own room. It’s only fair when they’re giving up weekends/spending 24/7 with students.

catandcoffee · 14/05/2022 09:57

Explain you can't share a room for medical reasons.. (little lie ) offer to pay half towards a single room. There is no way I would share a room either. Good luck.

DysmalRadius · 14/05/2022 09:59

This is such an awful plan- how can they expect adults to share a bedroom with someone that just happens to work at the same place?! So inappropriate!! I wouldn't go and would tell them why.

LabradorsInThePond · 14/05/2022 09:59

I think that I might suddenly develop a problem with volcanically loud snoring that would be impossible for any roommate to endure, thus necessitating a single room.

I think you perhaps need to be honest with your manager and explain that this isn’t possible ( plus snoring). Maybe offer to pay the single supplement if possible?

Honestly, I wouldn’t be able to attend if I was expected to share a room. I don’t share hotel rooms if I go away with friends either. I need space to decompress, to loll for an hour in the bath with a book, and often read for an hour at 3am. I am up with the Today programme on by 6:10. I don’t want a roommate, and no one would want me!

MarmiteCoriander · 14/05/2022 10:04

I would hate this too, even with a colleague I knew fairly well. I can't imagine what your bedtime and morning routines could be, but I'd feel uncomfortable sitting in my PJ's, braless with a work colleague? Could you speak to your manager or HR and say that you snore and fart very loudly throughout the night and need your own room? IF a single room is refused, surely it would come under discrimination?

PaddlingLikeADuck · 14/05/2022 10:05

Making up a pretend medical reason is also a great idea.

Tell your boss that you are not prepared to explain your circumstances, but that for medical reasons you cannot share a room with someone and need a single room for yourself.

TidyDancer · 14/05/2022 10:05

I would be willing to share for a single night with some of my colleagues but no fucking way would I want to do this for multiple nights with a random colleague.

It would be a case of single room or not going for me.

PaddlingLikeADuck · 14/05/2022 10:06

I can't imagine what your bedtime and morning routines could be….

I can 🤣

And I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that in front of colleagues either OP 😂

Northernsoullover · 14/05/2022 10:07

I have IBS. I wouldn't inflict that on anyone. I need freedom to pass wind and 💩 with gay abandon. I'd say that you can't share but I'd offer to pay extra.
In my twenties I had close friends at work (we are still close even though we don't work there any more) I would have shared with them. Not my manager and certainly not the age I am now.

RainCoffeeBook · 14/05/2022 10:08

I'd just say no. Succeeding in work is about being strong and saying no to unreasonable things. You get more respect having some principles than you do being meek.

You state clearly you're unwilling to share a room and will miss the conference. They can either say yes, or offer you a single room.

You don't even have to explain why. They'll only discount all your reasons anyway.

Stand firm.

MintyGreenDream · 14/05/2022 10:08

Say you sleep walk or talk in your sleep.Make it sound like something that would impact a roommate

Coldnoseandtoes · 14/05/2022 10:10

I could share a room, but not a bathroom! I'd pay for your own room if you can.

EinsteinaGogo · 14/05/2022 10:10

OP

this is not on. Your company can SUGGEST you might share with a colleague but they really should not be forcing you to share.

Topseyt123 · 14/05/2022 10:11

I wouldn't be happy with this. Where is the privacy?

I would pay for my own room. If I couldn't have that then I simply wouldn't go. It wouldn't be up for discussion.

NippyWoowoo · 14/05/2022 10:13

PaddlingLikeADuck · 14/05/2022 10:06

I can't imagine what your bedtime and morning routines could be….

I can 🤣

And I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that in front of colleagues either OP 😂

I'm picturing affirmations out loud while looking into the mirror

BarbaraofSeville · 14/05/2022 10:14

If they were interested in saving money, they'd not be travelling abroad.

Do it properly, with everyone with their own room, or send fewer people, or get apartments where people aren't sharing bedrooms at the very least.

Sounds like they have someone not very bright in charge of arrangements if they think this is acceptable for a work trip.

LicoricePizza · 14/05/2022 10:15

I don’t think you should have to invent a medical reason - I would just say it might be ok for the 20somethings but you need your space, privacy & good sleep without disturbance to function & you need your own room to do that. If they insist you need to go or there’s an expectation for you to be there you could offer to pay half which is only fair.

Cafog · 14/05/2022 10:16

I was advised that we would be sharing when myself and colleague were attending a course together recently....yet we are still wearing masks and aren't allowed to eat lunch together in case of a covid cluster when at work. When I reminded them of this we got 2 rooms booked.

MinnieGirl · 14/05/2022 10:17

I most definitely wouldn’t share a room with anyone. And I think it’s totally unreasonable for the company to suggest it.
I wouldn’t give any reasons, but would make it very clear that I would not be attending unless I was allocated a single room. And why should you pay for it? If it’s somewhere you really want to go and you would benefit from the conference you could begrudgingly offer to contribute but if it’s a works conference they should be paying.
It’s not a school outing ffs…. I would hate it!

bigbluebus · 14/05/2022 10:17

We used to have to do this for courses back in 1980's - but only if you were under 25. After that you got your own room.