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Original poster

Expected to share a hotel room with a colleague

265 replies

Mauhhq · 14/05/2022 09:52

We have our annual company work conference abroad in July for 4 nights, and everyone in the company is expected to share a hotel room with a colleague, I know they do it to cut costs and for team building reasons, but I am feeling extremely uncomfortable about room sharing.

I am an introvert and need time to unwind and recharge my battery in my own space. I suffer from insomnia especially in a new environment. I also have my own bedtime and morning routines that I don’t want others to know, it would make me feel uncomfortable going to the bathroom.

Everyone can pick their roommates, the worst part is - all the female colleagues in my team have found their roommates and paired up apart from me, the head of the department and two new starters I have never met.

There is a 50/50 chance that I will either share with the head of the department, she is a nice person, however it means I will always have to be in the “work mode” 24/7, I prefer keeping a professional distance rather than getting to know her at a personal level. Or I might share with a new starter who is a complete stranger.

I could find an excuse not to go, but there is a lot of pressure from my manager and everyone else I know is going and no one has dropped out. No one has complained but a lot of people in my team are very young in their 20s.

What would you do?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/05/2022 10:17

I would say I'm happy to go but need my own room as I don't sleep well and want the privacy. It's their choice whether they pay for a single room or not. It's very cheap of your company to expect you to share, I think.

SallyWD · 14/05/2022 10:18

I couldn't bear it either and would pay for my own room.

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 10:18

Say no. Offer to pay for your own room if you want to go. It's ridiculous forcing you to sleep in the same room as someone you don't really know. You work with them but have no idea what they are like outside work.

Alwayspaintyournails · 14/05/2022 10:19

NippyWoowoo · 14/05/2022 10:13

I'm picturing affirmations out loud while looking into the mirror

Show quote history

I am not 🤣.

I think it’s very reasonable to ask for a private room. I sleep poorly at the best of times, go to bed with medicated cream on etc.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/05/2022 10:19

This really makes me angry. It is totally inappropriate to expect colleagues to share hotel rooms, and I would refuse. The only people I share a room with are my husband and my children, non-negotiable.

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 14/05/2022 10:19

Not acceptable for a work trip, I would suggest just saying you can’t share and offer them
the choice of either getting you your own room or telling you not to come.

pansexualanteater · 14/05/2022 10:20

Fuck no.

If the conference was mandatory I would insist they pay for me to have a single room or I'd refuse to attend.

Cloud16 · 14/05/2022 10:20

I would not be sharing a room. I'd decline.

Dearmariacountmein · 14/05/2022 10:21

I’ve only agreed to this twice. Both times I was in my twenties, the people I shared with were also friends and both were optional work piss ups rather than actual work things.

I travel regularly for work now and wouldn’t share a room even though one of my colleagues is one of my bridesmaids. I need that time to relax and have space.

SeaToSki · 14/05/2022 10:21

Just say you suffer with insomnia (the truth) and want to sleep well so you can concentrate at work. Having a room mate wouldn't work for you due to this illness and would they like you to contribute to the difference for a single room, or does it fall under a disabilities accommodation (see how you are asking and not stating which might be enough to get it approved without being fully checked out. Then your manager can have a room of her own (which she will probably be thrilled about) and the two new hires can share (good for them making friends)

Lolllllllllllll · 14/05/2022 10:25

Have you asked if you can have your own room. Surely that is the first thing to do before worrying.

Atlantic252 · 14/05/2022 10:25

There is no way in the world I would agree to share a room with a work colleague for a work trip - even if we were friends. It is so inappropriate on so many levels and surely leaving the company open to all sorts of legal issues. I say this as someone who's travelled for work for 25+ years.

This is an awful policy but your options are what everyone has mentioned - offer to cover the extra cost of a private room, or not go. But if it was me I'd be planning to leave a company like this as soon as possible.

orangeisthenewpuce · 14/05/2022 10:25

I travelled to another city for training to find not only was I supposed to share a room with another employee but it was a double bed. I refused and had to pay for my own room.

Bayleaf25 · 14/05/2022 10:26

It would be a hard no from me, I need my privacy and would only share with DH, close friend or sister.

Reasons:
Wouldn’t want to inflict my snoring on anyone

Health - think wandering around half naked whilst I wait for HRT gell to dry after shower (advise to wait 5 minutes before dressing).

Not to mention wanting to go for a number 2 in relative dignity without a colleague listening in or dealing with smells. I know we’re all human but I’d rather not.

What if one of you wants to go to sleep at 8pm and the other wants to watch loud TV until midnight?

HandshakesInTheHamptons · 14/05/2022 10:26

No way would I share a room with a work colleague. I also wouldn’t pay for my own room, I don’t understand anyone thinking that’s an acceptable option for a work event. The company would have to either pay for me to have my own room or accept I wouldn’t be attending.

saraclara · 14/05/2022 10:30

Yep. Say that you suffer from insomnia and would disturb anyone sharing with you. You'll need to offer to pay the extra though.

BigCheeseSandwich · 14/05/2022 10:30

Nocturnal flatulence, violent somnambulism, high decibel snoring… pick one or all three. I’d hate this too!

Viviennemary · 14/05/2022 10:31

No you shouldn't have to share room. Its an absolute cheek. Say no.

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 10:32

They might be one of those people who sleep walk and attack you in your sleep.

bevelino · 14/05/2022 10:34

MarmiteCoriander · 14/05/2022 10:04

I would hate this too, even with a colleague I knew fairly well. I can't imagine what your bedtime and morning routines could be, but I'd feel uncomfortable sitting in my PJ's, braless with a work colleague? Could you speak to your manager or HR and say that you snore and fart very loudly throughout the night and need your own room? IF a single room is refused, surely it would come under discrimination?

As if anyone is going to tell HR or their manager that they snore and fart loudly.😂

Threetulips · 14/05/2022 10:37

Well many the head of department doesn’t want to share either? Ask her to go halves on separate rooms.

OuiWeeOui · 14/05/2022 10:41

I'd tell the truth , I think it's massively crossing a line expecting you to share a room
You are not children opting to go on a residential trip
They either want you to attend and provide suitable accommodation or you don't attend

Ifailed · 14/05/2022 10:41

OP, it's a terrible shame that you've just discovered your passport has expired.

nearlyspringyay · 14/05/2022 10:42

I shared when I was a lot younger now not a chance. I pay for my own room. I snore , I wouldn't want to inflict that on anyone!

KatRee · 14/05/2022 10:43

I think that's really inappropriate. I can imagine enjoying it when I was in my 20s if I had colleagues the same age, but not now in my late 30s. I'm sometimes shocked to read about what goes on in other people's workplaces, because I can't imagine anyone suggesting this where I work. I would just give the reasons you given here about why you don't want to share (ie, you're an adult who needs personal space), don't make up excuses. They need to understand that it's an unreasonable arrangement for any group of colleagues, not just people with medical conditions