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Original poster

Expected to share a hotel room with a colleague

265 replies

Mauhhq · 14/05/2022 09:52

We have our annual company work conference abroad in July for 4 nights, and everyone in the company is expected to share a hotel room with a colleague, I know they do it to cut costs and for team building reasons, but I am feeling extremely uncomfortable about room sharing.

I am an introvert and need time to unwind and recharge my battery in my own space. I suffer from insomnia especially in a new environment. I also have my own bedtime and morning routines that I don’t want others to know, it would make me feel uncomfortable going to the bathroom.

Everyone can pick their roommates, the worst part is - all the female colleagues in my team have found their roommates and paired up apart from me, the head of the department and two new starters I have never met.

There is a 50/50 chance that I will either share with the head of the department, she is a nice person, however it means I will always have to be in the “work mode” 24/7, I prefer keeping a professional distance rather than getting to know her at a personal level. Or I might share with a new starter who is a complete stranger.

I could find an excuse not to go, but there is a lot of pressure from my manager and everyone else I know is going and no one has dropped out. No one has complained but a lot of people in my team are very young in their 20s.

What would you do?

OP posts:
JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 14/05/2022 10:44

When this was suggested where I work I just offered to pay the extra for a single room. I have IBS so there was no way I was sharing!

skyeisthelimit · 14/05/2022 10:45

I had to share rooms with strangers when I worked for a building society in the 90's and we had to go 2-3 hours away for training sessions that were 2-3 days at a time. It felt uncomfortable then and I certainly wouldn't want to do it now as an adult.

I would say that you really need your own space, and that you are happy to pay for your own room (assuming that you can afford to do that).

Nietzschethehiker · 14/05/2022 10:45

A previous company I worked for did the same thing. Many of us developed mystery other responsibilities that meant we either needed to drive home or unable to go in the first place. I was somewhat amazed when one of the bosses pootled up and asked everyone what was going on (no-one outright admitted anything but pointed out that people may be hesitant due to room sharing ).

The boss was amazed and kept going on that it would be a bonding exercise , like girl guide and scout camp until it was strenuously pointed out the the majority of us were well over 35 (most of us well over 40 actually they were being diplomatic) and considered that attitude quite condescending.

The cherry on the cake qas when someone asked her who she was sharing with and she sheepishly admitted she had a room to herself.

They couldn't change it by that point but issued a memo confirming there would be a different system the next year with sharing being very much optional Grin

Clymene · 14/05/2022 10:48

I haven't shared a room with a colleague since I did after a Christmas party with the team junior and she ended up bringing one of the (married) blokes in the team back to the room and they had sex while I pretended to be asleep. 🤮

ancientgran · 14/05/2022 10:49

I would imagine the two new starters are likely to pair up, if so why not have a chat with your head of department, she might feel the same. Then you can go halves on an extra room.

Cuphalffullor · 14/05/2022 10:50

If it’s for medical reasons you need to see Occupational Health. I have an assessment in place which says I can’t share a room.
if not then I guess you offer to pay extra or don’t go. Agree it’s crap and caused me alot of stress year 1 as assessment was not in place in time. My mum then died day of meeting so I didn’t go. Extreme way to avoid sharing a room though.

HollowTalk · 14/05/2022 10:51

I'm really shocked that people are suggesting the OP should pay for her own room or upgrade - that's paying to go to work!

RedMake88 · 14/05/2022 10:51

I feel uncomfortable sharing with family and friends and totally get this!!

AppleKatie · 14/05/2022 10:51

I can confirm that even in girl guide camp I (and every leader I know over 25!) insist on my own ‘pod’ in the tent.

It’s. it appropriate and I would refuse. Don’t make up an excuse though. Just say the truth, this makes me uncomfortable and I don’t feel it is appropriate.

ArtVandalay · 14/05/2022 10:52

There’s no way I would share. I can’t think of anything worse.

I’d just pay for an extra room.

BalloonsAndWhistles · 14/05/2022 10:52

Oh no, I just couldn’t do that. I’d rather pay for my own room tbh although then it’s like paying to go to work which is really unfair. Has anyone pointed out that single rooms generally aren’t a lot more cost effective than putting people in twin rooms?

CapMarvel · 14/05/2022 10:53

No way would I share a room with a work colleague.

I also wouldn't lie about why, just say that you are not comfortable doing so and that your work should either pay for single rooms or that you are not going.

Bobbybobbins · 14/05/2022 10:55

I wouldn't mind but totally understand why you don't want to. Good suggestion about paying difference in cost if that is an option for you

PaddlingLikeADuck · 14/05/2022 10:57

NippyWoowoo · 14/05/2022 10:13

I'm picturing affirmations out loud while looking into the mirror

Show quote history

Then your imagination is a lot more purer than mine 😂

RedMake88 · 14/05/2022 10:58

I want to ask why it’s an age thing though? I mean I have funny toilet habits (god only on mumsnet) for example I have IBS and when I’m on my period any cramp I get lead to needing a poo though! And sorry tmi but generally when on period and had a poo, I clean myself but also jump in the shower! I can’t feel comfortable otherwise! That’s probably a funny habit to someone in their 20s

Sorry to derail the thread!

Littlegoth · 14/05/2022 10:59

I’m HR. I would say no on the grounds that sharing a room with a colleague is not a reasonable request. If pushed I would lodge a grievance. What does it say in your employment contract, as I would be very surprised if it had been put in terms.

Justcallmeanatm · 14/05/2022 11:00

GarlicGnocchi
Yes you are absolutely right now that idea is in op,s head hopefully op will not go lol

Candleabra · 14/05/2022 11:00

I wouldn’t go if I was expected to share. I can’t believe this is company policy. Completely inappropriate and unprofessional.

Sswhinesthebest · 14/05/2022 11:00

I’m completely happy to share rooms with friends, but no way with colleagues!

Littlegoth · 14/05/2022 11:01

Further to my last post, if they want to cut costs they can do that by holding the conference virtually, rather than by compromising my privacy

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 11:01

Email HR and say you have a really high libido so it would be inappropriate.

I imagine the two new starters are also dreading it tbh.

DaleTrimont · 14/05/2022 11:02

I would say that you have insomnia or snore loudly, and so need your own room for the comfort of the other person, and that you will pay the extra.

CapMarvel · 14/05/2022 11:02

Littlegoth · 14/05/2022 10:59

I’m HR. I would say no on the grounds that sharing a room with a colleague is not a reasonable request. If pushed I would lodge a grievance. What does it say in your employment contract, as I would be very surprised if it had been put in terms.

I'm sorry, but what employment contract on earth specifically details whether you are expected to share a room in a hotel or not? Of course it's not going to be in there.

GarlicGnocchi · 14/05/2022 11:03

Littlegoth · 14/05/2022 11:01

Further to my last post, if they want to cut costs they can do that by holding the conference virtually, rather than by compromising my privacy

Much more eco friendly too

ComDummings · 14/05/2022 11:04

I wouldn’t be paying for my own room, I would ask work to and if they refused I would not be going.

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