Expected to share a hotel room with a colleague

[Mauhhq]

We have our annual company work conference abroad in July for 4 nights, and everyone in the company is expected to share a hotel room with a colleague, I know they do it to cut costs and for team building reasons, but I am feeling extremely uncomfortable about room sharing.

I am an introvert and need time to unwind and recharge my battery in my own space. I suffer from insomnia especially in a new environment. I also have my own bedtime and morning routines that I don’t want others to know, it would make me feel uncomfortable going to the bathroom.

Everyone can pick their roommates, the worst part is - all the female colleagues in my team have found their roommates and paired up apart from me, the head of the department and two new starters I have never met.

There is a 50/50 chance that I will either share with the head of the department, she is a nice person, however it means I will always have to be in the “work mode” 24/7, I prefer keeping a professional distance rather than getting to know her at a personal level. Or I might share with a new starter who is a complete stranger.

I could find an excuse not to go, but there is a lot of pressure from my manager and everyone else I know is going and no one has dropped out. No one has complained but a lot of people in my team are very young in their 20s.

What would you do?

@GreatOak ....I'm on the same page as you....I shared a room a few times when I was younger with girls my own age whilst on training courses and suchlike, but would I do it now, thirty years later...not a hope in hell !

Oh god, I have worked in a place that did this. What's more, for tea building days we would stay in places that required us to sleep in dorms. 3-4 bunks in each room, so sharing with 5-7 colleagues.

What's worse is that the showers were also communal. Some of the shower cubicles were private, but there was nowhere private to get changed.

That would be a great big fuck no from me.

Everyone will also take the same bus to the airport, take the same flights together and spend the entire week sleeping and eating at the same resort, just like a school trip, so I will be with colleagues 24/7.

Why is it overseas then? Or is this in say, Las Vegas, but you're all in the US? No way would I share a room and I wouldn't pay for a single room supplement myself - I'd claim the cost back.

😮

I think it's shocking. No way would I share with a colleague.

Sounds like you are working for a company that doesn't really appreciate its employees. Horrid for you - and I bet there are lots more people who are dreading this trip but just going to "keep quiet". It would be a definite no from me. They are not treating you as adults.

I'd rather pay for a separate room. I did a few work related trips where I shared a room but I was friendly with the women I shared with outside of work.

I have 3 friends that I would share with but I've shared before and known them decades.

Work colleague, no way, know matter how friendly or how long I'd known them in work.

I sleep badly at times and usually have to gofor a wee during the night more than once depending what I've drunk.

I'd pay for my own room so I would be able to hog the loo in the morning as that can also be a more than once visit and I wouldn't subject anyone that.😄

I couldn’t do this 🙁 I could not allow my boss to share my private behaviours. Loud farts, snoring, pooing anxiety + loud farts, sleep talking, sleep screaming, constant
sleep drooling, occasional sleep walking, talking to myself, wombling (constantly searching through my myriad of bags for elusive and vital items and resulting anxieties). Godammit. I just about manage to appear human within working hours. I could not keep that going for 24 hours!

I can't believe how shocked some of you are, sharing rooms has been the norm the last 3 places I've worked, I didn't think it was unusual though I do get peoples anxiety

I think this is awful and unprofessional. Colleagues are just that. Not people you want to share intimate space with when washing, using the loo and sleeping! I have frequent nightmares so I won't even stay with friends in their homes overnight. Always book a travel lodge or similar.

Appalling for companies to expect staff to share, no way would I have ever have agreed to this, thank goodness the company I worked when I did need to travel with colleagues would never have dreamed of suggesting it.

I would either not go or insist on a single room.

I do most of those, plus I always wake at around 3, make a cup of tea (sometimes 2) and read for an hour or two before I can go back to sleep.

Even if I was prepared to share, it would be most unfair on my roommate.

I think this is a outrageous request, and no-one should have to pay for a single room because they want or need privacy.

OP they are not behaving as if they really want people to go if they are making people share rooms! FFS even when I was a trainee in a large state enterprise in the late 80s we had our own rooms!
If they really care about you going they wouldn't treat you like 7 years olds.

Quoting myself there, but actually I do think that those saying that you shouldn't have to pay for your own room have a fair point.

So, in the absence of an edit feature, I will add that I would be claiming it on expenses. If told that I couldn't do that then I would tell them that they either book a single room for me and they pay for it in with all of the others, or I simply wouldn't be going.

There's no way I would share a room with a colleague. When we went on a residential school trip, I made it a condition that I had my own room. I need my privacy.
Just pay for a room of your own.

No way would I agree to this nor offer to pay for my own room. It’s a work trip, you should not be out of pocket. And being forced to share a room is barmy

You gave been told you are sharing a room to help with team bonding !
Ask your manager just what kind of bonding are you meant to do in your shared room at night and do you all need yo go for std checks before and after.

When they ( hopefully ) say no of course youdknt need std checks, we don't expect that kind of bonding , you can say we don't need to share a room then do we.

I am with pp , the company should pay for your own room but if they won't id pay for it myself , maybe even book myself into a fancier hotel and enjoy Spa/ jacuzzi/ massage/ trip to cinema in the evening

I did this back at the beginning of my career - for 3 weeks! It was fine. Later, I was supposed to do it again, but they paired me with someone with an oriental name, who turned out to be a guy! I got my own room.

Now I'm older, I would be paying for my own room.

@Gwenhwyfar because it’s not an acceptable contract term so most companies don’t have the need to put it in there. The assumption is that rooms will be private.

and hard no to paying for your own room. That’s not your responsibility, it’s for them to sort out.

like a pp said it might have been acceptable back in the 80s but it’s not the norm now.

I would rather quit my job and leave the country than hear a colleague’s sleep farts 🤢 in all seriousness though, my jaw dropped when I read the OP because expecting/pressuring staff to share a room is deeply inappropriate and unreasonable.

I don’t even share a room with DH because I sleep terribly and just can’t relax with someone else there. If paying for my own room wasn’t an option (as you say is the case, OP), I simply wouldn’t go.

I wouldn’t care if I was the talk of the steamie afterwards, though; I don’t make myself uncomfortable for a job that would fire me tomorrow if business needs changed.

Create yourself an alter with candles and some old goat skulls at the bathroom sink and draw a big inverted pentagram on the mirror, they won’t ask you to share at the next conference.

I’m genuinely shocked at the number of people who think you should pay for your own room on a work trip. Where on earth are you working that this is seen as a good option?

work mandated trip = at work’s cost.