To give my 18 year old a deadline to move out?

[Myturnatlast]

I've been a single mum to her for 10 years and we're incredibly close but DP and I want to move in together so things are going to have to change.
His place is big enough for her to have her own room if she wants to come with me but she's already said she wants to live on her own / with friends.
She's on quite a low wage though and I'm worried about how long it might take for her to find somewhere and don't want to put my happiness and financial well-being on hold indefinitely while she gets sorted.
I'm thinking of giving her a 6 month deadline to find somewhere or come and live with us (she gets on just fine with DP). Would I be unreasonable to do this?

It depends. Does your partner live in a different town? Is that why she’s not keen to move in? Also how long have you been with him?

Well I've completely changed my opinion on this now anyway since someone linked another thread from the OP and she apparently barely even know her "DP" herself :/

You might not be kicking her out but it sounds like your more interested in your boyfriend than her future/wellbeing..
On a practical level where is dps place to her work?
Has she got plans/opportunity to improve her low wage job /prospects..Will herself need funding/ support
My dc are probably going to uni so am expecting to support for at least another 4 years ...but even without that(I didn't go) those early work years can be a good time to improve prospects...and that may mean courses/changing jobs/emotional support..if you've been close just you n her for 10yrs its a big adjustment

Emotionally the way you've written it seems really harsh and I can imagine thinking she'd have to say she's OK about it no matter what...as you are so keen to move your relationship on..
If you're giving up your place do you have backup resources to reestablish yourself if things don't work out???

Personally I could never do that
But it’s your call

Yes, and that link made me even more sure she is BU. The “get on fine with DP” is now highly questionable.

Just seen other thread....he is definitely not worth this....way way too soon

So you want to kick your dc out and move your dp in? Nice! My youngest is 20 and there’s no way I would do this. At 18, they may be officially an adult, but there’s still a lot of growing up to do.

Ok no wonder your DD doesn’t want to move in. Your fella is a virtual stranger to her (and you). YABVU.

The OP seems to have threads which attract a lot of completely new posters to Mumsnet.
That's nice, isn't it?

A deadline? To your daughter? Really? I don't know it seems weird to me...

Its extremely entitled to expect someone to put their plans on hold indefinitely whilst waiting for you to sort yourself out

they have the choice of moving with you, which they turned down butt why want you to continue to pay rent, bills etc until they are ready to move

no way is that fair or respectful

set a date and they move with you if they're not sorted themselves

18?? Is this a fucking joke.

Just move and make sure there is a room for her

His place is big enough for her to have her own room if she wants to come with me but she's already said she wants to live on her own / with friends.

@Riverlee how does the above read as kick my dd out and move my dp in? what am I missing here?

Why does she not want to move in with your DP though?

Its extremely entitled to expect someone to put their plans on hold indefinitely whilst waiting for you to sort yourself out

perhaps the DD just has more sense?

Bin her. You’ve done 18 years, job done. Time for her to get on with it and stop being so selfish! Mummy has a new dick to sit on, see ya! Move in with the new man and live your best life. Hashtag goals!

Jokes obvs. Sort it out op. Is this really what you want for your daughter?

The OP’s only been with this man about 5 months if I’m reading their previous thread right. This is her daughter so it’s seems very harsh for you to say it’s entitled to expect someone to put their plans on hold.

Even though my son’s at uni I’m making no plans to move until I know he’s likely to never live at home again.

I’m waiting for my 26 & 24 year olds to move out so that I can downsize! To be fair, I think Covid has played a big part in holding things up. The problem is, if they rent they will never be able to save a deposit to buy so they are better to stay here they are organised. 18 is very young OP. I think you should make plans for her to go with you and if she’s organised something else then that’s fine too.

Haha 😁Unfortunately this is so true of a lot of women, they’re can be so damn needy and insecure it makes me 😡

I couldn’t do this, I think it’s mean. 18 is so young in a world so hard but regardless of this I would always but my DD first before DP.

Your 18 yo doesn;t want to move into your boyfriends house.

I don't blame her.

I hope you do not need her to visit you when you are old and lonely.
Because if I was your daughter I would not bother with you.

Poor child to have you as a mother.

You sound desperate hardly a good role model.

May be a good idea for your daughter to get away. FAR AWAY.