MIL and husband laughing at my weight

[LilacRose30]

For a bit of background - before I had children I was a size 10. After children, I’m a size 14 and I have my wobbly bits and my main exercise is walking, where I do around 15k steps a day. My MIL has known me since I was a size 10, and my husband married me when I was skinny.

My husband never says anything about my weight and sex life is fine. However, when he’s around his mum he seems to think it’s fine to have a giggle when she makes comments directed at me. A few weeks ago, my husband mentioned MILs scales were broken and MiL said “obviously something heavier than 12 stone has been bouncing on them” and I saw her side eye me. Husband giggled but I said nothing. Tonight, my dog was behind the couch and I bent down to get him and I heard her say to him “you don’t get many of those to the pound” and another comment I couldn’t hear. I walked out and said to my husband that I feel hurt that he could ridicule my weight. His response - “you’re being childish. It was a joke.” I walked off upstairs and he said “come on, you’re being silly. It was a fucking joke”. For me, it’s not. He knows I had nearly suffered with an eating disorder when I was younger (we were together - I was so scared about getting fat).

I just feel hurt that he thinks it’s OK to make these jests at me and that it’s me being ridiculous. He didn’t stand up for me at all and I think the fact that he laughed made me wonder what he actually thinks of me.

to be honest, I’m just really upset that he just laughed. If someone said that my husband was fat or skinny or whatever, I would stand up for him.

Am I being dramatic? I’m not a confrontational person so feel like I couldn’t say anything to my MIL, especially as she’s staying with us for a while.

sorry for the rant, but crying and wanting to vent.

It's really horrible to laugh about your weight gain, especially as you've had issues. Is he like this otherwise? Mil sounds awful too.

Making cruel jibes is not a joke. I would be very upset with both of them.

A joke is when both parties find it funny. He's a prick and you can quote me.

It would be a while before he got any bedroom action if he has such a problem with weight that he can take the piss alongside his mother.

She wouldn’t be staying with me for a while. She’s a nasty cow and I wouldn’t have anyone in my home who spoke about me like that. Tell DH to have a fucking word or he’d be going too. What a dick.

What a nasty pair. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, did it?

You are definitely not being dramatic, your husband however, is being horrible and I think you need to sit down in private and let him know how hurt you are. I was a size 8-10 before children which was 20 odd years ago and I’m now a size 16, my DM is nasty about my weight and after so many years I actually snapped and told her exactly how I felt, it was the best thing I ever did. She has never mentioned it again and although it was so hard at the time and I had a major panic attack because I’d never spoken to her like that, I felt relief, I actually felt free. Talk to your husband explain to him, maybe he’s just needs to know straight about how you feel.
sending you hugs.

I'd tell that witch to put her remarks where the sun doesn't shine because their irrelevant. Them wobbly bits gave you beautiful children and that weight gain is happy gain. I gained after kids cos I ate an was happy and content an went from an 8 to 12 after my kids, I feel so much better. I looked awful a size 8 my legs looked stupidity thin now I have thighs!!!!! YAY .

Don't let them get to you ❤️

If you can’t kick her out, next time she says something you need to stop whatever you’re doing, look her in the eye and say “why are you making horrible comments about my body?” When she says only joking you reply that it’s not a joke because it’s not funny and you won’t put up with it.

She couldn’t give a shit about hurting your feelings and arseholes like this get away with it because nice people don’t want to cause bad feeling. This requires confrontation or it won’t stop.

Hopefully she’ll be so shocked and upset at being confronted she’ll have a tantrum and leave.

She's a nasty bitch isn't she. Your dh is none the better. Sorry op that it so cruel. I would be horrible to her the next time she does this. Your dh can go live with her if he finds her so hilarious.

It would be time for me to pack her bags and send her on her way. When you agreed to her staying surely it wasn't on the condition that she was abused you like this.

Both of them are behaving like playground bullies. It's easy to see where he comes from isn't it?

Well there is an easy way to rid yourself of many stones op...

Do they ever tease or jest with you about anything else about you, any other imperfections?

She’s a fucking bitch- throw some age jibes her way!

Would he laugh if you made jokes about the size of his penis?

What about MILs age or some other feature?

Your husband and MIL are being incredibly rude and mean. I wouldn't accept that kind of talk from my DH.

On another note though, do you want to lose weight? Why are you a size 14 if you're walking 15k steps a day, what are you eating? I mean this in a kind and curious way, I've also had children and had to work hard on the weight loss, so it's not a dig at you.

Pair of arseholes. They don’t care about your feelings so next time she makes a comment tell her to go fuck herself and same to him for being a suck up bully.

You should tell her to stop it yourself. You are a grown woman but he is a pig for not having your back and telling his mother to shut up.

Thanks everyone. She’s always constantly obsessed with weight and she was doing it in front of my 6 yo daughter and my daughter actually said to me “mummy I can’t wear that coat, it makes me look fat” !! I spoke with my MIL and said she was to stop as I don’t want my child thinking she looks anything other than beautiful.

My son found me crying and went and spoke to MIL and husband and they brushed it off. I didn’t tell him why I was upset but it’s really got to me, especially because I work 2 jobs, look after the kids and the house and then all it’s ok for MIL to “joke” about my weight. I will say something if she mentions it again, but I just know she will say “it’s just a joke”. It’s how she is but I notice she doesn’t do it to my SIL who can be fiery.

thank you guys ❤️

They’re both vile.
Ban MIL from your house, DH can go visit her.
And tell DH anytime he makes any personal comment about you you’ll be replying in kind— stare at his crotch and wiggle your little finger.

It was bad enough but to be called childish and it was a fucking joke. He is being vile! That is totally unacceptable. I am raging on your behalf.

I guess I don’t eat great, I’m a snacker but I have a dog and take him out a lot. Today we did 19k steps, so I can of walk to tone up but I know I should be better at what I eat. To be honest, I don’t “feel” big, I just feel happy at my size and would rather tone up more than anything.

This isn't on at all, I hope you're okay. Very weirdly enough I've had a similar thing this eve. My MIL on the phone thought it was appropriate to say 'Oh I've put tons of weight, I look as big as happierthanever. But at least she's pregnant' ?! Might be pregnant but definitely not something to say and my OH said not a word..

I do love this comment 😂 I’ll definitely give him a waggle of the finger in the future!

The only people being childish were you're horrible mil and dh