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To think my dentist is very stuck up
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cuppateaandabiccie · 11/05/2022 19:31

Was at the dentist today for my routine check up. I have never had a problem with her before in all the years I have been a patient at her surgery, but today it just felt like she was in a foul mood but I think she came across as quite stuck up and arrogant.

let’s say I’m called Sandra and say she’s called Barbara Brown (just a random name) officially she is called Dr Brown.


i was waiting at reception to be called for my appointment, she came to reception and called my name so I got up and walked over and I said “hi Barbara, how are you” then her response was quite sharp.

she had a face like thunder and she said something like “Sorry Sandra, my name is Dr Brown. In future, you call me Dr Brown”

I was really shocked and taken aback - there was no conversation from her during my appointment, usually she is quite chatty and friendly. All she did was tut and sigh.

AIBU to think this was quite unprofessional and arrogant? Why can’t I call her by her first name? She’s not God!

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Fuckitydoodah · 11/05/2022 19:35

I'd be finding a new dentist. She was rude. If she really does insist on being called Dr Brown, she could have been more polite about it. I'd probably still think she was a knob though 😁

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SilverGlassHare · 11/05/2022 19:35

I wouldn’t call anyone I was seeing in a professional capacity by their first name, unless previously invited to do so. But in your situation I’d have said, ‘Actually, it’s Mrs/Ms/Dr/Rev Cuppa.”

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Longdistance · 11/05/2022 19:37

She’s sounds like a twat. Change dentists. I would anyone who was moody anywhere near my teeth.

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Fuckitydoodah · 11/05/2022 19:37

Oh and if I'd been quick enough and had the guts I'd have loved to say 'OK understood, in that case I'd like you to call me Mrs/Miss/Ms Smith '

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nokidshere · 11/05/2022 19:39

If she is usually chatty and friendly I would have assumed maybe someone has complained about her being too familiar.

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Bickles · 11/05/2022 19:41

YANBU. All my patients call me by my first name.

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Sapphirensteel · 11/05/2022 19:43

I don’t understand how dentists became doctors, unless they hold a PhD of course. I’ve even heard of vets calling themselves Dr Brown, Smith, whatever. When did this start?
And yes she was rude. Maybe having a bad day, row with partner, whatever but no reason to be rude to you.

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Roselilly36 · 11/05/2022 19:44

My dentist has the tendency to be a bit like this, can be very friendly, if I see him outside the surgery, he will totally blank you, very odd personality. But he’s a good dentist.

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SerialNameChanger2114 · 11/05/2022 19:45

Maybe I’m just in a minority, but I’ve worked in a hospital for 9 years, and unless I know the doctor well, I wouldn’t dream of calling them by their first name. (Most say call me Richard or whatever and then I will) that’s within the same hospital.

I wouldn’t Call a dentist or doctor by their first name. It seems too familiar and really rude! (I’m 35 btw in case that matters 🤣)

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Blogdog · 11/05/2022 19:45

Wow as a long standing patient I wouldn’t be happy with that at all. Even if she is really hung up on using her title (which smacks of insecurity tbh) there are ways of communicating that nicely - snapping at a client is appallingly unprofessional.

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declutteringmymind · 11/05/2022 19:45

Same here everyone calls me by my first name. But if I had to I'd do it politely. 'Unfortunately in this building I insist on being DrDeclutter. Just to keep things professional and so you know who to complain about! '

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Michellebops · 11/05/2022 19:46

She could have been a bit more polite about it although I would never call my dentist by their first name, same with my doctor.
Just respectful to me

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cuppateaandabiccie · 11/05/2022 19:46

I felt really uncomfortable during my appointment.

the atmosphere felt really tense and off. I’m guessing she had a run in with the dental nurse as she was standing there in the room and they weren’t speaking as they normally do. There was no radio on which usually is on.

she went to grab a tool from her drawer which the dental nurse was standing beside and she didn’t even ask politely to move - she just opened the door with her right beside it!

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caecilius1 · 11/05/2022 19:51

Oh dear 😬
Is she quite young this dentist OP?
Same as Bickles, all my patients call me by my first name.

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FourTeaFallOut · 11/05/2022 19:52

Call her doctor? 😁 I'd only call her doctor now in the style of Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors.

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Cloudwire · 11/05/2022 19:53

Sapphirensteel

I don’t understand how dentists became doctors, unless they hold a PhD of course. I’ve even heard of vets calling themselves Dr Brown, Smith, whatever. When did this start?
And yes she was rude. Maybe having a bad day, row with partner, whatever but no reason to be rude to you.

Both dentists and vets hold doctorates

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caecilius1 · 11/05/2022 19:53

Really bad idea to p* off your dental nurse. 🙈

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Greensleeves · 11/05/2022 19:53

It was rude of her, but it was so glaringly off that I'd probably asssume something had happened to upset her - bad news, or similar. If she doesn't apologise and resume her usual friendly attitude next time, I'd change practice and write to her explaining why. Nobody has to put up with rude, arrogant behaviour, but if she's previously been pleasant and respectful I'd give another woman the benefit of the doubt, once, personally.

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RobinHumphries · 11/05/2022 19:54

I don’t understand how dentists became doctors, unless they hold a PhD of course. I’ve even heard of vets calling themselves Dr Brown, Smith, whatever. When did this start?

It started around 1995. As dentists are dental surgeons they used to have the rank of Mr/ Mrs/ Ms etc so were ranked above medics however the general public didn’t understand the technicalities so it was decided to give them the rank of doctor to gain respect

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GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 11/05/2022 19:55

I was at the dentist yesterday and called my dentist by her first name, always do.
I agree with pp above, would have been good to say "no problem, you can call me Ms/Mrs Biccie" - but there no way I would have been that quick off the mark!

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caecilius1 · 11/05/2022 19:55

Only a minority of dentists have additional PhDs. The title Dr is courtesy. I've never used it.

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Reallyreallyborednow · 11/05/2022 19:55

don’t understand how dentists became doctors, unless they hold a PhD of course. I’ve even heard of vets calling themselves Dr Brown, Smith, whatever. When did this start?

a while back. They can also use dr as a courtesy title, same as medical dr’s do.

i think it likely came from the US.

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alexdgr8 · 11/05/2022 19:57

i guess most or the Dr Dentists have a doctorate in dental surgery.
more likely than philosophy, although that is very wide.

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Reallyreallyborednow · 11/05/2022 19:58

Both dentists and vets hold doctorates

no, they don’t. You only need an undergrad degree to practice medicine, dentistry or vet medicine.

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Babdoc · 11/05/2022 19:59

I’m older generation (in my 60s), and, for most of my contemporaries, Christian names are for friends and family only - one waits for permission to use them for anyone else.
So in your example, you would always address her as (title surname), unless or until she says “Oh please call me (Christian name)”.
I must admit, I grit my teeth if a young nurse addresses me by first name instead of Dr Babdoc! It is disrespectful and cheeky.

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