To think my dentist is very stuck up

[cuppateaandabiccie]

Was at the dentist today for my routine check up. I have never had a problem with her before in all the years I have been a patient at her surgery, but today it just felt like she was in a foul mood but I think she came across as quite stuck up and arrogant.

let’s say I’m called Sandra and say she’s called Barbara Brown (just a random name) officially she is called Dr Brown.

i was waiting at reception to be called for my appointment, she came to reception and called my name so I got up and walked over and I said “hi Barbara, how are you” then her response was quite sharp.

she had a face like thunder and she said something like “Sorry Sandra, my name is Dr Brown. In future, you call me Dr Brown”

I was really shocked and taken aback - there was no conversation from her during my appointment, usually she is quite chatty and friendly. All she did was tut and sigh.

AIBU to think this was quite unprofessional and arrogant? Why can’t I call her by her first name? She’s not God!

The British Dental Association (dentists' trade union) started the
'call me doctor' campaign for dentists to be given the courtesy title in about 1995. The BDA have always addressed their members as Dr.

She was definitely rude. I call my dentist by his first name, as far as I know all of his patients do.

She was rude but at the same time I would never dream of calling a dentist or any sort of doctor or health professional by their first name unless they introduced their self as their first name.

If she is normally friendly- could something have happened in her personal life? Divorce, death of loved one etc. And she is just feeling generally shit? It’s not appropriate to being personal issues to work but we are all only human after all!

Sorry I think you were rude to call her by her first name. I can’t imagine that ever being appropriate unless she explicitly asks you to call her by her first name.

I really couldn't care less what I'm called, unless it's extremely sweary.

It doesn't sound like she handled it very well, but just to maybe give the other side. I'm a GP and when I go to work I 'put my game face on' for want of a better description and I'm Dr Prestissimo. This is maybe more important because I live and work in the same place, so sometimes treat my friends and neighbours. I always introduce myself as Dr Prestissimo because that's my role as much as my working name.

Also (and I'm not saying this is the case with you OP), but often it feels as though the patients who call me by my first name are playing power games of some kind - they're usually older than me, often men, or the incite their great friendship with Dr SeniorPartner (called by their first name) from back in the day... It's almost an intimidation tactic and feels a bit off.

So I do try to stick to Dr, but I hope I do it more politely than your dentist managed. Sounds like there was more going on here than you were privy to.

That's really rude, I'd be changing dentist

Hahah!! Are you a dentist?!

You were pretty rude to call her by her first name, I always call my dentist/gp mr/mrs etc, and it sounds like she was rude in response.

I think it’s fine to want to keep a professional relationship and be addressed by title. However if that’s the case why on Earth is she calling you by your first name! I do think it’s rude to presume you can use a given name but equally so for her to do it

At my dentists it's the other way.

All the staff including the dentists are call my their first names and all the patients are called Ms Mrs Mr or whatever. And it's the same at my vets.

At my last vets I asked the receptionist to call me by my first name and she said they weren't allowed to.

I find this Doctor thing a bit odd as well, when they call patients by their first names but they expect to be called Doctor Jones.

I find that rude and stuck up too, and shows to me a total lack of interest in relating well to patients. A dentist you could easily spend an hour under treatment from on any visit should be relatable, and calling each other by first names is a huge part of that. My dentist is always 'first name' and even the appt slips have first name-last name on them instead of Dr Thingy. I'm very phobic of dentists and it was one of the things that really helped me to feel more at ease.

A GP where you spend 10 minutes with them and may see a different one every time is different, it makes more sense to use Dr Thingy to keep it all clear, if you get referred to a consultant and only know the GP as Barbara and the consultant as Ted it'll get very confusing!

When I registered at my new dentist , I got off the chair and said thank you , oh remind me of your name again - she said " call me Jo , or Joanne if I've hurt you " with a smile
So Jo she is ... it only hurts at the till

Given that many many people are terrified of the dentist it seems odd that they wouldn't try to cater for nervous patients by being more informal. I have a dental phobia and it would definitely make me more nervous if my dentist was being very formal, distant or cold.

All the dentists at the practice I attend are called by their first names by the receptionists so I do the same. I don't think I've ever directly called my dentist by any name to his face. There's no need to.

Same here. Some colleagues that I see every day would never be referred to as their first name, it’s Dr whoever. It’s respectful.

Surgeons are not ranked above medics!

I Can't pronounce my dentists name so never call him by anything. I tend to just say hi you alright as I walk in

So someone who is usually friendly and chatty, with whom you have been very happy for years, was grumpy today? I'm sure it wasn't a nice experience for you but she is only human. Of course mn will pile on to say that it was unprofessional, and it was, but it's a rare person who hasn't had a bad day at work and you've got enough history to know it was out of character.

Wanting to be addressed by the professional title she spent 5 years earning isn't thinking she's "god".

The disrespect in this country shown towards doctors and dentists is crazy.

Roselilly36

My dentist has the tendency to be a bit like this, can be very friendly, if I see him outside the surgery, he will totally blank you, very odd personality.

I suppose he may just not recognise you.
You - I presume - see only one dentist, but he'll see lots of patients. Also, of course, when you see him professionally, he'll have a bit of a clue because of your name being on your notes.
I used to recognise some, but by no means all, of the patients who spotted and greeted me.
Now I'm hoping I covered it up a bit better than your dentist does

I use my dentists first name as it's what she introduced herself as. Her surname (not sure if full) and qualifications are on a plaque on the outside of the building but clearly she prefers her patients to use her first name. I'd feel a little put out if she suddenly changed and abruptly told me to call her Dr Surname as though the previous relationship hadn't existed.

I assume she's introduced herself using her first name in the past which is why you know it. She could definitely have approached it differently but if you got the feeling something else was off during treatment then I'd put it down to something else which translated into a poor interaction with you. I wouldn't be jumping to change dentists if she's otherwise good and this is currently a one off situation. If she's still a little off next time and it's impacting you then I'd consider changing but good dentists that knows your dental history are important and you're only seeing them every 6 months.

The disrespect in this country shown towards doctors and dentists is crazy.

Theres nothing disrespectful about calling someone by their name in this day and age, get a grip.

The Dr thing is so complicated, I hate it.
In this country medical doctors are called Dr but surgeons are Mr/ Miss. Dental surgeons have therefore always been Mr/ Miss.
In Europe and the US even surgeons are Dr. Dentists are all called Dr, so the GDC and BDA said U.K. dental surgeons could use Dr to be in line with the rest of the world.
I am married but practice in my maiden name so would either be Miss Maiden name (but I’m married) or Mrs Maiden name which is my mother.
I get around it by saying call me Bickles to everyone! I like to be professional but warm and friendly with patients.

You have no idea what's going on. Obviously she shouldn't have snapped at you, but it's also possible, for instance, that she keeps getting called Barbara but her male colleagues Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones and she's really sick of the differential. I don't think it's weird or wrong to want to have a title that you're, well, entitled to.