To think my dentist is very stuck up

[cuppateaandabiccie]

Was at the dentist today for my routine check up. I have never had a problem with her before in all the years I have been a patient at her surgery, but today it just felt like she was in a foul mood but I think she came across as quite stuck up and arrogant.

let’s say I’m called Sandra and say she’s called Barbara Brown (just a random name) officially she is called Dr Brown.

i was waiting at reception to be called for my appointment, she came to reception and called my name so I got up and walked over and I said “hi Barbara, how are you” then her response was quite sharp.

she had a face like thunder and she said something like “Sorry Sandra, my name is Dr Brown. In future, you call me Dr Brown”

I was really shocked and taken aback - there was no conversation from her during my appointment, usually she is quite chatty and friendly. All she did was tut and sigh.

AIBU to think this was quite unprofessional and arrogant? Why can’t I call her by her first name? She’s not God!

She can’t expect me to be respectful to her when she’s being a moody cow. I think she was more unprofessional than I was

Fine for her to ask you to use her title, but rude of her to snap at you - and very rude of her to have used your first name in those circumstances!

shes never called me Mrs (surname) she’s always called me By my first name

I don't call my dentist anything. I just say Hello politely and leave them to get on with it. I'm always too struck with fear to think about whether she is Mrs This or Dr That. I wouldn't have a clue what her first name was anyway.

@Gagaandgag
Yes 😀

I never have called her by her name at all, I just said hi “Barbara” without thinking. I didn’t think it would be a problem.

i do think if she wants me to call her by her title then she needs to call me by my title

She can’t expect me to be respectful to her when she’s being a moody cow.

I think anybody can expect to be called by the name they choose, whether or not they're being moody.
Were you originally invited to call her by her first name or did you just start today?

Why did you need to say her name at all?
Presumably you were looking at her, she knows who you are saying hi to

I do think if she wants me to call her by her title then she needs to call me by my title

I totally agree with this.

I said it without thinking, I didn’t think it would be such a big deal

It’s not at all professional for her to get on the way she did today. It was clear she wasn’t in a good mood even before I said her name and she’s took it out on me

I agree with your last comment OP, she invited the informal greeting really by greeting you with your first name. No issues with her wanting to be referred to as Dr but then she must do you the same curtesy regarding titles else it looks like power play rather than staying formal and professional.

I think if you have never had a problem with her before then maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt.she could have just be having a terrible day/had bad news or something we are all human after all. She shouldn't have snapped at you and I do agree respect works both ways, I would give her another chance before you write her of tho op assuming she is a good dentist and usually pleasant and professional.

How did you know her first name then? What has she introduced herself as previously as I would assume that is what she wanted patients to use. You would also have been reasonable at that point to ask her to return the formality but you didn't.

Like I said before, my dentist has introduced herself only using her first name which I took as an indication that she preferred her first name to be used over title and surname (she also uses her maiden name professionally). I wouldn't presume to use someone's first name in a professional setting without it having being indicated.

It's clear you didn't have a good time this time but the time to request she use your title and surname was at the time she requested the same. I actually think you were rude to use her first name if it hadn't been requested. I don't necessarily think there's anything here to particularly complain about and don't think the frustration and irritation on her part was just down to the interaction with you.

Be honest @OP. If it had been a male dentist, would you have just said, 'Hi William!'? I think not.

As for being rude (you were rude first) , in your own words she said, '“Sorry Sandra, my name is Dr Brown. In future, you call me Dr Brown” She wasn't rude, she was assertive and direct and it caught you off guard. The mannerisms that you described..well we only have your word for it.

She was just horrible today. That’s the worst I’ve ever seen her. So tense and moody. im already dreading my next appointment! Seriously considering putting in a complaint to the practice manager!

Really? After having no problems ever with her for years you would put in a complaint on the back of one bad day? Wow.

As someone terrified of the dentist , I'd never go back to her. The majority of drs I ever met always introduce themselves with their first name. My obstetrician always insisted I call her by her first name. My gastro Dr gets called Dr "nickname" because nobody can say his first or last name 🤣 even my clinic letters come using his nick name

By the way, it's very hard getting a good dentist these days, very, very hard!. So i'd ignore those telling you to leave your dentist of over a decade and 'find another dentist', silly advice.

I don’t feel I was rude. She has always called me by my first name

St the end of the day, you're a paying customer. And dentists don't come cheap

Respect is a two way street

I don't even know my dentist's surname...I mean its on his plate on the door but I have never used it, or his predecessor's or any of the hygienists. I call my GP by her first name too. When I was in practice though, I would always ask people how they wanted to be addressed or start formally and only move on from there when they asked me to. I always introduced myself by my christian name and surname and let the client choose which name they used. I am in my 60's.

A dentist is not a doctor. Clue is in the name. Load of rubbish having to call them Dr xyz. It is Ms or Mr xyz.

Yeah. It was clear she wasn’t in a good mood at all. I felt uncomfortable

why not? my dentist (and his predecessor) both blokes and I use first names, my current hygienist is male and I use his first name...its actually how he introduced himself.

is she often moody? I think I would have asked her if she was ok as she seemed tense. And before you think I am not worried by going to the dentist, I am terrified.