To think my dentist is very stuck up

[cuppateaandabiccie]

Was at the dentist today for my routine check up. I have never had a problem with her before in all the years I have been a patient at her surgery, but today it just felt like she was in a foul mood but I think she came across as quite stuck up and arrogant.

let’s say I’m called Sandra and say she’s called Barbara Brown (just a random name) officially she is called Dr Brown.

i was waiting at reception to be called for my appointment, she came to reception and called my name so I got up and walked over and I said “hi Barbara, how are you” then her response was quite sharp.

she had a face like thunder and she said something like “Sorry Sandra, my name is Dr Brown. In future, you call me Dr Brown”

I was really shocked and taken aback - there was no conversation from her during my appointment, usually she is quite chatty and friendly. All she did was tut and sigh.

AIBU to think this was quite unprofessional and arrogant? Why can’t I call her by her first name? She’s not God!

@gymNamaste What have work colleagues got to do with it? The OP is not the dentist’s work colleague? I don’t know the first names of the doctors at my GP practice and haven’t ever seen any of them often enough to feel the need to ask! When you make an appointment to see a doctor, do you get told “ your appointment will be with [person’s first name], today? Or if you see a solicitor, are you told your appointment is with [person’s first name]?! If writing to your MP, would you just use their first name? Would you address a judge by their first name when they were acting in their professional capacity? There are a great many contexts where just using someone’s first name without their explicit agreement is still considered wrong, rude or over familiar.

Totally agree, Walkaround.
I didn't see the work colleague analogy either.
I was part of an a very friendly NHS team; of course we all called each other by first names (or nicknames), socialised a lot with each other (through choice, not because we felt we should) and got on really well.
However, if we went on a joint visit to a patient, we'd refer to each other as Title LastName and the patient in the same way.

All she had to do was politely say to me “Mrs (surname), would you mind calling me Dr Brown please just so that we keep it professional? Thank you.”

I would have been fine with that. There was zero need for her to say it to be so abruptly.

i could tell she was already in a bad mood even before I opened my mouth and spoke to her, so I don’t think it was me. I get that she was maybe having a bad day, but she should try harder to control that and not show it to her patients.

she was really off and the atmosphere was very tense and odd. Not appropriate or professional at all.

So what does the Dr call you ? All that hierarchical stuff disappeared many moons ago!!All my staff call me by my Christian name and I would feel so awkward if they called me any thing else !

I’d guess that because you know her first name, it’s used in her workplace at reception etc “you’re appointment with Dr Barbera Brown is at 3pm” or whatever, rather than “an appointment with Dr Brown”.
It does tacitly give permission for you to think of / refer to “Barbera” rather than “Dr Brown”.

My dentist is referred to by receptionist as Jo Bloggs, but the GP receptionist would say Dr Bloggs. It gives a pretty clear indication of preferred names; if I then called either of them “Josephine” it’d be fair enough for them to correct me!

I’d not be happy to be corrected as rudely as you were anyway, a simple “Please call me Dr Brown. Nice to see you today” would’ve been just as clear.

My dentist is wonderful, normal
and a lot of fun, we call him Tom, because that’s his name and he calls us by our first names. He’s a dentist, who went to the same medical school as DD, and a normal unpretentious person.

his name isn’t really Tom BTW

Hold up…

You have doctors that are not literally doctors? I’d heard of the lower education dentists before, and I think maybe solicitors can have only a bachelors, but I’m stunned that there are classes of people using “Doctor” as a courtesy title…

In the US, all doctors of any kind, all dentists, all vets, and all lawyers have a doctorate degree.

I call my dentist by his first name. That’s how the receptionists refer to him too. It’s a friendly practice.

My mother calls her dentist by her first name, she's like a family friend she's been her dentist so long.

Why did you need to say her name at all?
Presumably you were looking at her, she knows who you are saying hi to

You've seriously never addressed anyone by name when saying hello?

As for being rude (you were rude first) , in your own words she said, '“Sorry Sandra, my name is Dr Brown. In future, you call me Dr Brown” She wasn't rude, she was assertive and direct and it caught you off guard. The mannerisms that you described..well we only have your word for it.

If she’s that bothered, she should have called OP Mrs/Ms Name instead of Sandra. Why does she get to be more ‘assertive’ than the OP?

As for ‘We only have your word for it’, welcome to every thread on MN ever.

It's just the name of the degree. The US calls it an MD and it's a second-entry degree after undergrad; the UK has an MBBS and it's generally an undergrad degree, but the degree conferred is at Masters level. All doctorates in the UK are third-entry degrees and are research based (though professional degrees such as MD generally have a taught component.)

Comparing education systems is fraught at best.

My dentist's name is Fiona. That's is also the name of the hygienist. It leads to confusion and I wish they'd each embrace a surname or title to distinguish them more easily.

The D in American MD, DO, DPT, PharmD, DDS, and DVM titles come from Scottish tradition.

YANBU. She was unforgivably rude. I would change dentists.

I'd decide to call her "My Ex-Dentist"