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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up of group child parties where I'm expected to buy at three gifts etc??

241 replies

Snowwhite83 · 04/05/2022 06:10

Hi,
My 6 year old son really enjoys going to other children's parties which I realise are expensive for parents and I don't mind bringing gifts but it annoys me when its three or more kids together and I have ti buy multiple presents. I also don't like buying rubbish as a rule and I find its impossible to get a present under a tenner these days. Am I being unreasonable and should I stop grumblimg and fork out? Or say my child can't attend?

OP posts:
Fuuuuuckit · 04/05/2022 06:11

Just stick a fiver in a card. Done.

RJnomore1 · 04/05/2022 06:12

Would you rather go to three separate parties??

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/05/2022 06:13

There is loads of nice stuff available under a tenner. Alternatively bung a fiver in each card.

Ideas... books. Small lego sets. Small beanie boos/squishmallows. Craft kits.

Original poster
Snowwhite83 · 04/05/2022 06:16

Hi RJnomore,

Tbh yes I would prefer separate or a max of two child parties so atleast my son gets to go to several different ones as he really enjoys them. Doesn't have to be a big fancy party either as I think these are overrated and must be expensive.

OP posts:
Orchidflower1 · 04/05/2022 06:17

I think it depends on who the invite. Is from @Snowwhite83

ds is invited jointly by jimmy, Freddie and Amira then all three get a gift.

joint party for jimmy, Freddie and amira but Freddie is the person inviting, Freddie gets the gift.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 04/05/2022 06:17

of course you can buy presents for under E10

Original poster
Snowwhite83 · 04/05/2022 06:17

I suppose I need to stop pressiring myself to buy expensive gifts , thanks for the ideas around the world.

OP posts:
MRex · 04/05/2022 06:18

You can get a lot of options for under £10, just be creative.

WhereTheWildlingsLive · 04/05/2022 06:18

In my reasonably decent experience most parents group up for parties to save hassle and definitely don't care about the presents! £5 is plenty to spend (although I usually go around £7-8 depending on how close the children concerned are to child); go to the works or their website, you can usually get usable gifts there for the right amount and as a pp has said would you actually rather go to three separate parties??! 😳😂

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/05/2022 06:22

My DDs once had five parties in a week... honestly I would have preferred if some of the parents had teamed up! (Instead it was parents swapping kids as several of us had kids in both age groups and couldn't be in two places at once)

Newpuppymummy · 04/05/2022 06:26

Buy them a book. Cheap but lovely present

notyourmummy · 04/05/2022 06:28

If both children would've had a party anyway I can't see the issue with a joint party tbh. Little Girl had a joint party with her friend recently, sharing the cost of the room hire, bouncy castle and food meant I could afford a party. I don't think everyone brought a present, and that was fine, it was more important to her that her friends were there and she had a cake...

mummyof2boys30 · 04/05/2022 06:31

Argos 2 for 15 was my go to when kids where younger. Thankfully now they dont do parties 😂

OverByYer · 04/05/2022 06:36

If the birthday children had individual parties you’d still have to buy the same amount of presents.

milkysmum · 04/05/2022 06:36

I gave up buying presents after reception when I realised I had no idea what all these children were into. Fiver in a card for rest of primary after that reduced the stress of present buying.

Simplelobsterhat · 04/05/2022 06:38

My son is about to have a joint party and it hadn't occurred me that people might see it as a bit grabby expecting 2 presents for one party! I see your point, but I had hoped that people would just spend less on a present for each child, rather than consider not coming! I really genuinely would prefer a child to come without a present or with a £1 bar of chocolate or a £2 coin in a card or something than not come- to me it's a token gesture and that age the kids have no idea of the value of things anyway.

I usually spend well under a tenner for gifts at that age anyway though, unless perhaps a best friend. I think the last few party gifts I've given are craft sets from supermarkets or books all about £6. I also keep duplicate presents my son has had to regift (carefully not back to the same person of course!).

Although of course a joint party is cheaper for us, it was mostly about convenience as their birthdays are so close together so we needed to avoid clashing with each other, but it's also a busy time with events for some extracurricular activities and close to half term, so it was just easier to fit in this way. And we genuinely thought parents would prefer to only find time for one kids party on the same weekend.

I do see your point though, but please lower your present standard before not going at all!

00100001 · 04/05/2022 06:40

But if there were three separate parties, you'd still be buying 3 presents...Confused

Badlifeday · 04/05/2022 06:42

00100001 · 04/05/2022 06:40

But if there were three separate parties, you'd still be buying 3 presents...Confused

but you'd be getting 3 separate outings for your dc to enjoy..

tomatoandherbs · 04/05/2022 06:43

Bloody hell OP

Am I being unreasonable and should I stop grumblimg and fork out?
yes, stop grumbling
no need to “fork out”. Just get Waterstones or WH Smith vouchers

* Or say my child can't attend?*
and I have no words for this comment OP. Ok, knowing your son enjoys them, perhaps I do. Spiteful. Nasty. Spring to mind.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/05/2022 06:44

buy 10 cards for a quid from the card factory
buy toys/ books from the Works
done.

Ohdearthatwasntgreatwasit · 04/05/2022 06:45

Then there would be 3 parties for your dc to enjoy though, or are you one of those miserable sods who see parties/weddings as a huge imposition on your time?

it’s super cheeky imo, we know a set of twins who have a joint party, but the invitation is always from only one of them, for whom we naturally buy a gift.

it’s like having to pay for 3 tickets to only see one show at the theatre.

LemonDrizzles · 04/05/2022 06:48

Go to wilko and get a cheap colouring book. Those are handy on long journeys/rainy days

tomatoandherbs · 04/05/2022 06:49

@Simplelobsterhat

My son is about to have a joint party and it hadn't occurred me that people might see it as a bit grabby expecting 2 presents for one party

a few negative people who look for the shadows in life will.
but I assure you that I wouldn’t think grabby and in RL I have never come across a friend or family member thinking grabby either

Morph22010 · 04/05/2022 06:50

When mine was that age I used to get the two for £15 gifts from Argos there is some quite decent looking stuff in there. I also used to keep an eye out and pick up stuff cheap in sales so we had a present box we’d pick out presents from rather than having to buy specifically for each party

tomatoandherbs · 04/05/2022 06:51

Ohdearthatwasntgreatwasit · 04/05/2022 06:45

Then there would be 3 parties for your dc to enjoy though, or are you one of those miserable sods who see parties/weddings as a huge imposition on your time?

it’s super cheeky imo, we know a set of twins who have a joint party, but the invitation is always from only one of them, for whom we naturally buy a gift.

it’s like having to pay for 3 tickets to only see one show at the theatre.

No
Rather the op is a miserable sod for begrudging someone who does decide to combine