To be fed up of group child parties where I'm expected to buy at three gifts etc??

[Snowwhite83]

Hi,
My 6 year old son really enjoys going to other children's parties which I realise are expensive for parents and I don't mind bringing gifts but it annoys me when its three or more kids together and I have ti buy multiple presents. I also don't like buying rubbish as a rule and I find its impossible to get a present under a tenner these days. Am I being unreasonable and should I stop grumblimg and fork out? Or say my child can't attend?

My son and his best mate always and will continue to have a joint party, their birthdays fall on the same day and they always ask for a joint party.

We don't put both kids names on the invites though, unless it's a mutual friend of them both. Let's call them A and B, As invites will say A has invited you to his party, same for Bs invites.

Nobody should feel obliged to bring presents but people do, so that's why we always only send invites as a singular party.

As they have a joint party, we have a wider budget option and they love it.

We have only been to 1 joint party which was 3 kids I think but each child invited their own guests so we only bought for who the invite was from.

But as people are repeatedly pointing out, the OP isn’t bothered about spending money on presents. She is happy to spend more than £10 on presents per child. She just wants more for her money… she wants an individual party in return for each present. Like it’s all about the financial transactions.

If dc were to go to 3 separate parties you'd still be buying 3 gifts though?

I like a joint party. Some parties are on Saturday and some on Sunday. I don’t want every weekend filled up with parties.

I aim for a present, card and wrapping paper for under £10. I also can’t buy rubbish gifts.

My go to gifts at the moment are Orchard Toy games such as Magical Maths, £5 in Boots and John Lewis and its a good game.

I buy from Claire’s when they have their 40/50% discount on.

Keep an eye on Tesco for when they have their half price toy offers.

I have a stash of bargains in my wardrobe ready for the next party invite 😀

And cards direct or card factory are great for cards.

No!
Just keep the child at home, and DON'T GO! Save the money.
Should spend at least E20 per gift,
Just stay Home!

Parents in my 9-year-old school get together, collect a fiver from each guest and get the birthday child a big present of the child's choosing. It's quite a close-knit year group; the parent of the birthday child then collects for the next kid's gift. It works, everybody's happy.

Yes absolutely this. Or a book token.

@MarJau26 Knew it was private due to amount of pressie 😂

not the class number lol

@Tessabelle74 this was the post I was trying to quote. Not yours

sure your class doesn’t spend £20-30 per pressie

Cheap bookshops and garden centres sell cheap children's books. Just get them 2 of these each.

It makes so much sense to club up and share a birthday party. I recently asked someone how much they had spent on their party - church hall, entertainer, normal party food etc - and it was over £1k.

I think it's important to realise some people have joint parties in order to save money. Parties with entertainers are expensive. Particularly if your home is too small to hold the party there.
I live in a two bedroom social housing flat and I was always shelling out more for parties than well-off parents who could hold a party in their large house w/garden.
I'm also alone with no family so couldn't safety manage and entertain lots of kids, so I had to hire some kind of entertainer. My kids therefore only had a couple of proper parties. I always really wished I could 'party share'.

YABU Amazon are selling barbies for under a tenner and DC comic figures etc. If there are 2-3 children is that really such an expense when your DC is entertained and fed for the day

Quote: "half class vs full class, I'm not suggesting they should only get 2 friends)."

Hi also just to say this is tricky.
That's another reason my kids had less parties, I couldn't bear to leave some class mates out. I've seen friendships break up over this, even in primary school. When my son's friend wasn't invited to the cool kids barbecue (all the boys except 3) he was so devastated he basically left my son and the other poor kid to themselves, he was so upset. He realised he had a choice to make. He really was a genuinely nice kid but the social pressure was too great. It broke up the friendship.

This might have already been suggested but I remember my DC going to joint parties where each child took one present that went into a lucky dip for the birthday children. No need for a present tat each off every child and takes the pressure off guests buying multiple presents.

That is totally annoying. We’ve had a
few
joint parties lately and they al have beek very clear to bring one gift and they are shared

no kid needs 30 presents (of tat)

It's really tight to say your kid can't attend a party just so you get out of buying a gift!

Just pop a fiver in each card or buy a set of cheap books & give one each with a packet of sweets.

You're not forced to buy cheap tat and I'm sure with your aversion to kids parties you can appreciate that going to one combined is better than going to three!

And if you had 3 separate party invites, you’d probably not be able to attend all 3 The parties are non stop when they’re primary age. Cant go to them all

Oh please come on its never the parents who couldn't afford a party otherwise, ours have been all the most well off families joining up. And yes 100% would prefer to go to 3 separate parties, that way you have 3 nice events for your child to attend rather than one with 3 times the cost. I actually think it's really cheeky and parents know that otherwise you'd send out an invitation that said invitation from x and make it clear that it was a joint party but please only get a gift for child x or y as they have sleceted 10 friends each.

I’ve had joint parties for my DDs but it’s (hopefully) been clear that the invite has been from one of them. You can’t exactly say ‘only one present expected’ without looking grabby in the first place.

Honestly, one of the best things about older kids parties is that there are fewer guests and therefore fewer presents to find homes for!

doesnt bother me at all!! But I would buy the kids a cheaper gift, something from home bargains or the works. I got a pile of kids gifts in the b&m sale a few weeks ago: games like snakes and ladders etc were down to £3 each

I love group parties. My children's school divides them into classes by age, so all the birthdays are bunched together with 7-8 every month. If they all had separate parties we'd have at least two if not three a week during "party season".

Luckily for us early in reception year parents on each of our kids' class WhatsApp groups suggested "why don't we all just stick a pound coin in a card and not bother with presents". Perfect.