To be fed up of group child parties where I'm expected to buy at three gifts etc??

[Snowwhite83]

Hi,
My 6 year old son really enjoys going to other children's parties which I realise are expensive for parents and I don't mind bringing gifts but it annoys me when its three or more kids together and I have ti buy multiple presents. I also don't like buying rubbish as a rule and I find its impossible to get a present under a tenner these days. Am I being unreasonable and should I stop grumblimg and fork out? Or say my child can't attend?

We tend to pick up bargains when we see them and shove away for parties. There are often toys on offer at the supermarkets and on Amazon. So much less stressful to have stuff in the cupboard to pick from too

Loads of good advice on here about how to make the parties compatible with your spend, but I completely understand where the OP is coming from after doing this myself to my shame. My two oldest children are a year apart to the day (I've heard all of the jokes thanks lol) and went to the same first school, different years. So, what could have been easier (I thought) than have ONE party for both children on their birthday, so invited 6-8 friends for each, at my house, sent the invites out for "Tarquin and Cressida's" birthday bash (not real names). Felt terrible as ALL parents came with two presents for my kids. It wasn't so bad when they had two kids attending, one for the oldest, one for the youngest, but it made me feel very bad for those that turned up with a present for a child that their child did not know, especially as it was a house party. Nothing wrong with house parties either, nothing wrong with a fiver spend tops also. My kids were so busy ripping wrapping paper off etc. that I doubt it ever registered with them who had bought what, and it certainly didn't with me.

Have you ever been to B&M?? Lots of bits under a tenner here. The more kids in the party the lower the present value is 🤣

I did a joint party for my DC when they were younger but I didn’t put on the invitations that it was a joint party for that reason - I just put the name of child that the child knew. It worked well.

Give them a tenner in a card each ! It all adds up. The parties are great idea and probably brings the costs down for the patents booking it to share. Honestly though, everyone appreciates a tenner ans sweets :)

My daughter used to have joint parties when she was younger, as they had the same friends. However, for joint friends we always put on invite 'if you wish to buy a present, please only bring one and they will be shared between the girls'.
Joint parties meant they could invite more friends but we didn't want people thinking they had to buy a present for each child.

Can I quickly ask a question? Not looking to derail.

What do you do if you have two children invited to the same party? Do you buy one present/card? Or spend more on one present/card? Or buy two presents/cards?

Thank you

I agree, but that isn't OPs objection
Her only complaint is she wants more parties.

"What do you do if you have two children invited to the same party? Do you buy one present/card? Or spend more on one present/card? Or buy two presents/cards?"

Take it you're a twin mum? I always just popped in one decent pressie because usually the invite was really for one kid, with the other invited to be kind/polite/fair. So this was a few years back but whereas if normally spent a tenner I'd maybe spend fifteen. Mind you I always kept a stash of gifts bought during the sales😂 Couldn't always use them tho if kid had a niche interest. I still find forgotten stuff knocking around in random corners of the flat today😂

I have triplet grandchildren so would you suggest 3 separate parties 🤣

Surely it's never about the presents - don't we all just want kids to attend so our own kids are happy?No-shows have always been my biggest fear.I would honestly rather have 3 children join with no presents at all than 1 with a fancy gift. But parties terrify me in general😁

Where to start with this shite 😱

If you expect three presents, I wang three parties, all different in case my child gets bored, all with different but interesting party bags and all close to their birthday otherwise you're just grasping for presents 😉😂

it’s like having to pay for 3 tickets to only see one show at the theatre. then spend less on each present if you really feel it's so transactional. Jeez. Or just don't go

She is spending less per present. That's what OP asked for to get views on. And your point is?

Ofc it's unreasonable for one parent to have to spend 3x£15 for birthday gifts thwie child who is attending one party. That's why most parents would either spend £15 on one birthday child that invited them (if aren't friends with the others) or would spend 3x£5 ie £15 in total for the 3 birthday children whose party it is. She asked exactly about this and PP have given suggestions.

I don't understand the criticism of that. We aren't made of money. I wouldn't spend £45 in presents for one birthday party. It's £15 total for me, however it is divided up. It's be entirely different if it was 3 separate parties on 3 different occasions as I could spread it out and wouldn't be paying out to entertain my child on those other days either. Some of us have limited budgets.

But you'd be spending £45 over 3 parties...?