To be fed up of group child parties where I'm expected to buy at three gifts etc??

[Snowwhite83]

Hi,
My 6 year old son really enjoys going to other children's parties which I realise are expensive for parents and I don't mind bringing gifts but it annoys me when its three or more kids together and I have ti buy multiple presents. I also don't like buying rubbish as a rule and I find its impossible to get a present under a tenner these days. Am I being unreasonable and should I stop grumblimg and fork out? Or say my child can't attend?

I agree. I know people always say buy a book and a book is a lovely gift but you need to know which books they already have so a fiver in a card is the best thing.

actually when dd was invited to a joint party, the invitation came from one of the children, so only one present was needed.

I have teens now, but in the past it would depend on who the joint hosts were. If they were classmates and DC would have been invited to all three had they been separate - equal present of £5-£10 each.

If DC was friends with one but there were two other hosts that were not really in their group (and therefore would be unlikely to have invited DC themselves) £10 gift for friend and token thing for other two.

Under a tenner presents that went down well:

Theme umbrella - Paw Patrol or whatever - Winter party
Or Gloves and scarf set
Cool sunglasses - Summer party
Pencil case with fun things inside
One of the elaborate drinking cups from Disney Shop
Sticker Dolly Books / Nice quality colouring book
Books in general

I always tried to avoid 'toys' that would be played with once and bulky items incase they had tiny rooms. Felt less like tat that way.

We've recently been to a joint party for a Y1 and Y2 child. I have kids in both years so they both got an invitation (the Y1 child had sent the invites to the Y1s and so on). I spent about £7 on each.
Similarly my two had a joint party last year and did the same thing so that none of the kids were obligated to buy for the other child.
So my big question is, why aren't these parents splitting up their invitations?!
If it were me, I'd be buying a small token gift each (eg a £2 book).

Buy a cheap book from the Works and throw in a £1 box of maltesers.

Well tbh I prefer them in the respect that it’s not 3 separate parties taking over separate weekends.

i also sometimes give cash or vouchers when it’s a class party as I know I was grateful for cash at my child’s just due to the pure volume of toys you get at full class parties

When my son turned 6 I did a big party in a hall for him. Out of all the gifts he got, his favourite was from a classmate, it was box of jelly babies and some spider plasters.

When my son was primary school age there were a few years when he had a joint party with one or two others. We always worded the invitations as “it’s a joint party, so if you’d like to bring a present, only bring one for Fred” so parents only needed to bring one.

By my interpretation, it is 3 children in one class holding a joint party for the whole class. In which case, I would expect the invite to come from all 3 to all those in the class. Would only make sense to split up if in different classes/year groups like your example of for friends outside school who likely only know one of them

Books are pretty much always under a tenner. We also used to buy book sets from the book people which were massively discounted and split them into different presents. Even cheaper. And lovely to receive.

In DS's class, there about half the class have birthdays in a 2 month window. We were over halfway through yR before there was an invitation and suddenly the diary filled with parties at 2-3 per weekend.

In y1 there were a lot of joint parties because it was logistically easier to fit them in and the guest list overlapped anyway. Much, much easier!
We did a shared one, which meant we could do a more expensive activity. If it had been just us, we'd have stayed with soft play.

The problem's eased because we lost 2 years of birthday season as they were his heavily by restrictions in 20/21, and now they're at the age where it's smaller groups but there is natural overlap. Why do the same party 2 weeks in a row so some guest feels like they get better value from buying their gift?

I’m with you, OP. We had one for three nursery kids recently. It does take the piss but I just grin and bear it and buy the gifts 😬

Our son was born on the same day as his best friend. They were in the same class at school and had the same friends.

We opted for a joint party so friends didn't have to choose which party to attend.

Books

You can't really dictate how people throw their children's parties. Understandably it splits the cost for the parents. I think I'd rather fewer parties, saves me time ferrying kids around to their social engagements every weekend. Do you need the childcare?

Lego 3 for 2 is great for this.

It's just part and parcel of bringing up kids

Go to the Works and buy a cheap but nice looking book

You are not expected to give an expensive gift to all three children. This is a pressure you are putting on yourself.

As others have said £5 in a card, or cheap 2 for £15 gift from Argos (or similar) is fine.

You also have the option to decline.

Try thinking of it as a present from a child to a child and not from you.

I always had a big box of cheap birthday cards and a £5 in each card for the vast majority of children.

Close friends got more.

At one time we might have had 50-60 parties a year.

But then you'd still have to buy 3 gifts?

It is annoying. To people saying you'd buy three separate presents, i personally don't go to every single party and no party = no present round here.
Also buying three separate presents is easier to budget when it's not all at the same time.

Are there seriously parents out there who want the birthday presents from a party? My heart sinks when I see all the plastic tat - most of which goes unplacyed with. I love the people who stick a fiver in a card (I also love the people who say 'sorry totally forgot the pressie, I'll buy you a coffee instead, you need it more than him')

Bloody hell I can’t believe people actually think like this. How can you be arsed to care?

Is it too much time on their hands?
Bored and so looking for something to focus on?
A fundamentally negative outlook on life?
Or just a pettiness?