Page 5 | To be fed up of group child parties where I'm expected to buy at three gifts etc??

Snowwhite83 · 2022-05-04T05:10:55+00:00

Hi, My 6 year old son really enjoys going to other children's parties which I realise are expensive for parents and I don't mind bringing gifts but it annoys me when its three or more kids together and I have ti buy multiple presents. I also don't like buying rubbish as a rule and I find its impossible to get a present under a tenner these days. Am I being unreasonable and should I stop grumblimg and fork out? Or say my child can't attend?

Whisp3r · 04/05/2022 09:36

I don't think you are tight or miserable at all OP. You get children presents for more than a £10 for parties. You are fed up with having to buy 2 or more presents for each party. Personally I think 3 presents which would also cost me more than £30 is too much for a 2 hour party for a small child. I think when someone is having a party for 3 children the invite should be from just one child. If the invite is from all 3 children I would just get them each something very small. They should be aware that £30 is a lot of money to some people.

I noticed some PPs expressing horror that someone would decline a party invite because they thought the gifts would cost too much. Someone even called it nasty. I think it is perfectly reasonable to not go to a party if the invite is from all 3 children and you don't want to buy 3 gifts. Lots of the invitees would benefit from the £30 more if their parents kept it to spend on food or electricity or activities for them rather than taking them to a party. People should bear in mind that many other people have to budget and the money for 3 gifts may be needed. Even 3 £5 notes in cards could be money that can't be spared. No need to make it worse by calling them nasty for not taking their child to a party.

Tothepoint99 · 04/05/2022 09:36

mummyof2boys30 · 04/05/2022 06:31

Argos 2 for 15 was my go to when kids where younger. Thankfully now they dont do parties 😂

Good idea!

prescribingmum · 04/05/2022 09:36

LittlePennow · 04/05/2022 09:20

I'm totally gobsmacked by the people here who view it as a transaction - the present is the price of the party, so your DC deserve one party for every present?! Or if the party has been catered more cheaply than you think your present(s) were worth, it's taking the piss? Seriously, wtf. These are kids' parties! The party is for the birthday child and their friends to enjoy, thrown at the expense of the birthday child / children's family/ies. Your present does not entitle you to an outing for your own DC. This is such a shitty way to think about it. Plus you really don't have to spend more than a few quid on a present - books from bargain bookshops, crayons and a colouring book, craft kit etc. I actually cannot get my head round the entitled and unpleasant way some of you view this. If everyone thought like you and considered not attending a party because it was a joint one, so they weren't getti t their "presents' worth", you'd end up with some upset little people! Nasty. This thread has certainly opened my eyes!

100% this.

We host a party for our child to be able to celebrate their birthday with their friends and the cost of this is on us. There is NO expectation to receive any presents (I would love nothing more than to write no presents on an invite for a child's party but some easily offended people those that frequent on MN no doubt would perceive this as a request for money and be offended🙄)

When hosting anything, it is because we want those invited to celebrate an occasion with us, be it a birthday, engagement, wedding, housewarming. It has nothing to do with what they can do for us or bring us and I am honestly astounded by the pettiness surrounding presents towards families that are trying to do a nice thing by inviting people to celebrate with them.

TheKeatingFive · 04/05/2022 09:38

You get children presents for more than a £10 for parties.

she absolutely doesn't have to do that

Even 3 £5 notes in cards could be money that can't be spared.

she'd be buying these presents anyway. It's just that she wants her moneys worth from a party.

you could do the whole thing for a fiver anyway OP with books from The Works

Phos · 04/05/2022 09:39

It's the done thing. Children love sharing their parties with a friend. There are 25 kids in my daughters class and almost all will have a party. If they didn't combine it would be one every other weekend on average! You're still going to spend the same amount on presents as if you went to three parties.

Collardgreens · 04/05/2022 09:41

The best gifts, in my opinion, are pads of paper with a pack of pencils / crayons / felt tips. That really isn’t expensive.

Also, obscure what you have brought by bunging then on the present table with an unattached card. Nobody ever knows who has given what in these situations.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/05/2022 09:41

Tothepoint99 · 04/05/2022 09:36

Good idea!

Show quote history

Sadly now it’s 2 for £20

krazykatzlady · 04/05/2022 09:44

My DC has a party coming up....sharing with friend so the whole class can be invited, no-one is left out. Activity parties are expensive!
Neither child expects pressies, neither do the parents - but there is no polite way to say present not needed just turn up, or please feel free to put £1 in the card if you feel you must.
Parents cannot win.

CrapBucket · 04/05/2022 09:44

What sort of parties do you hold yourself, OP?

PeekAtYou · 04/05/2022 09:48

I know I don't have to buy for the kids that mine doesn't know but I send a token gift (£2 on Maltesers or something) for the other child. When my child was that age mini figure blind bags were at the £2 ish mark and 3 for 2 then you've got a couple of spares for the present box.

Card Factory do 10 cards for £1 and they are nice designs. I still keep a stash at home for emergencies.

Personally I have no problems with a party with 2 kids or 5 kids. My kids enjoyed the parties but go to their dad's every other weekend and it's obviously better if there's less changing of dates and times. (He would pick up later if a child is at a party) Plus as a single parent there was always the balancing of each child's social life and having you rely on lifts from other parents when I couldn't pick the kids up at different times at different places.

PeekAtYou · 04/05/2022 09:49

Maybe cheap birthday present ideas needs to be a sticky? I know this idea doesn't work if you don't know the child well but one of my son's favourite presents was a packet of Match Attax (football cards)

PeekAtYou · 04/05/2022 09:50

Maybe cheap birthday present ideas needs to be a sticky? I know this idea doesn't work if you don't know the child well but one of my son's favourite presents was a packet of Match Attax (football cards)

Chica10 · 04/05/2022 09:52

Orchidflower1 · 04/05/2022 06:17

I think it depends on who the invite. Is from @Snowwhite83

ds is invited jointly by jimmy, Freddie and Amira then all three get a gift.

joint party for jimmy, Freddie and amira but Freddie is the person inviting, Freddie gets the gift.

Came to say, this exactly. Would just give to the child who’s invite it was.

Flambola · 04/05/2022 09:54

I buy Lego sets from Amazon for about £7-8. Last year, they had a great offer in Argos. 2 toys for £15 but it stacked with a buy one get one free (or something like that) and I ended up with 6 gifts for about £30.

Maydaysoonenough · 04/05/2022 09:55

Group parties sound amazing!! Only lose 1 afternoon not every bloody weekend!

MessedOfTimes · 04/05/2022 09:57

What the plop? Joint parties? Is this a thing?! Must be obviously 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ve never encountered over here in rural Aus

Blossomtoes · 04/05/2022 09:58

Badlifeday · 04/05/2022 06:55

If people combine parties to save on the expense, why is it hard to understand that for the attendees you have actually increased the expense?

Because you haven’t.

3 kids + 1 party = 3 presents
3 kids + 3 parties = 3 presents

Exactly the same.

Blossomtoes · 04/05/2022 10:01

Badlifeday · 04/05/2022 06:55

If people combine parties to save on the expense, why is it hard to understand that for the attendees you have actually increased the expense?

Because you haven’t.

3 kids + 1 party = 3 presents
3 kids + 3 parties = 3 presents

Exactly the same.

Blossomtoes · 04/05/2022 10:02

Badlifeday · 04/05/2022 06:55

If people combine parties to save on the expense, why is it hard to understand that for the attendees you have actually increased the expense?

Because you haven’t.

3 kids + 1 party = 3 presents
3 kids + 3 parties = 3 presents

Exactly the same.

HouseofGods · 04/05/2022 10:03

I was just saying similar the other day and I know others feel the same. Most parties DS has attended this year have been joint parties so only 1 party for him to enjoy but 2 presents to be bought. I understand people saying that presents don't need to be expensive but at the same time it's also a waste of money if you buy something that won't be played with or used.

It does come across as a bit tight, especially with one cake and one party bag. Two of the parties have been a combo of someone he's friends with and someone he never mentions (so wouldn't have been invited if they had their own party) but the invitation comes from both so two presents required.

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 04/05/2022 10:03

Nooo, joint parties are brilliant, saves having to go to 30 separate parties. Less chances per year of picking up noro from soft play too (DS currently still wiped out non stop sleeping from catching vomiting bug at party on Sunday)

just buy stuff for £5. Craft kits from the Range or B&M. Small Lego kits, playdough stuff, nice book, £5 in envelope, hair accessories for girly girls, football, garden toys if it summer.

ReadyToMoveIt · 04/05/2022 10:06

It does come across as a bit tight, especially with one cake and one party bag

Maybe they couldn’t afford to have a party for their child if it wasn’t a joint one. Would you rather kids don’t get to celebrate their birthday with their friends, just so you don’t feel hard done by?

ReadyToMoveIt · 04/05/2022 10:07

It does come across as a bit tight, especially with one cake and one party bag

Maybe they couldn’t afford to have a party for their child if it wasn’t a joint one. Would you rather kids don’t get to celebrate their birthday with their friends, just so you don’t feel hard done by?

HouseofGods · 04/05/2022 10:20

ReadyToMoveIt · 04/05/2022 10:07

It does come across as a bit tight, especially with one cake and one party bag

Maybe they couldn’t afford to have a party for their child if it wasn’t a joint one. Would you rather kids don’t get to celebrate their birthday with their friends, just so you don’t feel hard done by?

It's not about feeling "hard done by". The parties have all been activity parties so by inviting fewer people they'd still have been able to have a party rather than teaming up with another child to double the attendees (half class vs full class, I'm not suggesting they should only get 2 friends).

I'm hardly going to lose sleep over it but yes, I did say to DH, god I've never even heard of X but we'll need to get him a present too. For families that are struggling it's much easier to attend 1 party with 1 gift and then politely decline another rather than leaving your child going to no parties because you can't stretch to 2/3 gifts. And yes even the good old £5 in a card will be too much for a lot of people to manage multiples of at the same.

TheKeatingFive · 04/05/2022 10:22

And yes even the good old £5 in a card will be too much for a lot of people to manage multiples of at the same.

You don't even have to spend that, lots of suggestions on this thread.

The OP is currently spending a tenner a head. Absolutely no need for this level of expenditure