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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to say no?

186 replies

Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 21:57

Hi,

I have recently started chatting to a guy. We have arranged to meet up but have not met in person as of yet. He told me used to live alone but has recently moved back into his mums house. We are both 25. I am a single parent with a 3yo who is with me.

He has messaged me just now to say that his mum has made him leave because of an argument and that he is homeless for the night. He is asking to stay at mine for the night and keeps asking for my address. Aibu to say no as we haven’t even met in person yet?

OP posts:
DuchessSilver · 29/04/2022 21:58

Obviously yanbu to not let a stranger stay overnight with you and your child.

Reluctantadult · 29/04/2022 21:58

Of course not. You'd be unreasonable to say yes!

Boredof2020 · 29/04/2022 21:59

Of course you can say no. He's a total stranger.

Original poster
Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 21:59

Thanks. I think he’s trying to make me feel guilty for not allowing him to stay!

OP posts:
JustBkind · 29/04/2022 21:59

Absolutely not!!! Don’t do it at all for your safety and your child’s!!! In fact, ditch him altogether cos I would not trust him at all!!

Hawkins001 · 29/04/2022 22:00

Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 21:57

Hi,

I have recently started chatting to a guy. We have arranged to meet up but have not met in person as of yet. He told me used to live alone but has recently moved back into his mums house. We are both 25. I am a single parent with a 3yo who is with me.

He has messaged me just now to say that his mum has made him leave because of an argument and that he is homeless for the night. He is asking to stay at mine for the night and keeps asking for my address. Aibu to say no as we haven’t even met in person yet?

Red flags straight way, plus what if he's being nicey first then it's omg

Rogue1001MNer · 29/04/2022 22:00

Oh god.

Definitely not.

And block for good measure

Threetulips · 29/04/2022 22:00

Not a chance!

Wouldn’t even respond.

at 25 he should have friends who can help or enough cash for a premier inn!

Morechocmorechoc · 29/04/2022 22:00

You must say no and stop talking to this man. I'd be concerned his plan is to move in with you and never leave!

Hellocatshome · 29/04/2022 22:00

Of course you say no and he should be contacting friends or family not you the fact he is asking you would cloud my judgement of him regards future relations.

Skydreams · 29/04/2022 22:01

Absolutely not, and he’s possible a con artist as no decent man would expect you to open your house to him before you’ve even met. Most people would have existing friends to contact first or family.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 29/04/2022 22:01

Please tell me that you will cancelling any plans to meet him at all?!

shivermetimbers77 · 29/04/2022 22:01

No with a capital N! He must have friends or other family around if he is legit! Massive red flag if he can’t see how weird it is to expect this of you. Very dodgy.

JoeGoldberg · 29/04/2022 22:01

I'd be blocking him tbh.

Templeblossom · 29/04/2022 22:01

Absolutely no way!
Red flags all over this -asking for your address!

pilates · 29/04/2022 22:02

No way.

bloodywhitecat · 29/04/2022 22:03

No, no and thrice no. No way. I'd being saying goodbye, good luck and blocking him.

420Bruh · 29/04/2022 22:03

Massive red flag, and the arguing with a reasonably boundary would have me sacking him off

AchatAVendre · 29/04/2022 22:04

I'm sure he must have friends he can stay with, failing which a hotel. I mean, he must have a bank account and debit card surely, even if he doesn't have a single friend.

FindingMeno · 29/04/2022 22:05

Please say no, and please don't give him your address.

RedDiamond · 29/04/2022 22:06

If his Mother is "chucking him out" I would say that he must be a total arsehole for her to do that. Don't invite him into your life.

VodselForDinner · 29/04/2022 22:06

I honestly can’t believe you’re questioning yourself here.

there is no situation in which it is ok to let a strange man sleep in your daughter’s home.

Original poster
Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 22:07

That was my thought. He works so he must have a bank account/money for a hotel. I am starting to think the ‘homeless for the night’ is an excuse to let him come round at 10pm at night!

OP posts:
Original poster
Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 22:08

I definitely won’t let him but he keeps pestering. He is saying he is currently walking the streets and has no where to go!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 29/04/2022 22:09

Absolutely not and you should block him. It's fucking outrageous that he would even as this of you.