Aibu to say no?

[Blossom97]

Hi,

I have recently started chatting to a guy. We have arranged to meet up but have not met in person as of yet. He told me used to live alone but has recently moved back into his mums house. We are both 25. I am a single parent with a 3yo who is with me.

He has messaged me just now to say that his mum has made him leave because of an argument and that he is homeless for the night. He is asking to stay at mine for the night and keeps asking for my address. Aibu to say no as we haven’t even met in person yet?

Is there anything on your FB he could use to locate you OP? Block him obviously (hopefully you already have) and check/tighten up your privacy settings on anything else he could find you on. He's blatantly breaking your boundaries now by contacting you by other means after you'd blocked him, that's worrying to me as he clearly doesn't care how it's coming across, he just wants you to give in. Any further escalation and I think a chat with the police might be in order, he's teetering on the edge of harassment now. Are you ok? Do you have friends and family you can speak to for support?

@Blossom97
Well done for saying no, its a hard thing to do if you have grown up to be a pleaser and to put other people first. You didn't give in, you weren't a pushover and you survived. Next time will be easier. Best of luck to you in the future and hopefully your confidence in yourself will grow.

The thing is I am used to being walked all over and being a ‘push over’ because I do find it hard to say no. I realise I do need to stand up for myself especially now I have a child!

Well you did great not being walked over this time so good on you!!

If you’re ever unsure just start a thread on here like you did to reassure yourself.

If there was ever a warning why not to give your personal details to strangers until you know them well, this is it!

Sounds like he's desperate to find someone to leech off.
Well done for blocking him!

So he's fallen out with his 'baby mum' - presumably his ex and he's fallen out with his own mum to the point she's kicked him out. He sounds like a nightmare and definitely one to be avoided. Make sure he's blocked everywhere.

Not your circus, not your monkeys.
Please don't even respond to him it will just encourage him to keep pushing to wear you down. he will try multiple different bullshit excuses looking for the one that will pull on your hearts strings until you agree to become his new mummy.
Block or delete your profile. He can use your profile to check out all your friends, from there he can use identifying photos or information to find your general area and google street maps to match them up.
He's obviously not put off by the fact you blocked him and will keep on trying. He's seriously creepy.

He sounds unstable.

Be sure to lock up all your social media don't forget things like LinkedIn.

Well done on how you have handled it so far. Your boundaries are strengthing each time

If he sends any more messages just tell him to stop and that if he doesn't stop you will be informing the police.

That will either stop him, or give the police something to work with. Either way you win.

Good for you! 100 per cent the right decision. I question if he even has been kicked out by his mum or if he even lives with her at all or is if he's even who he claims to be or a catfish! People really are that manipulative and odd. Don't beat yourself up for asking others opinions. I can massively relate to people pleasing tendancies and questioning my own judgment. It comes from being a kind person (usually with low self esteem). There's a lot of good Youtube videos on People Pleasing and why people do it. One of the biggest lessons Ive learned is you never ever need to make yourself uncomfortable or do things you don't want for others as people who deserve your energy will be a joy to help so wont make you feel that way and people are far more comfortable around you and appreciative of you anyway when you have firm boundaries! 💖