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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to say no?

186 replies

Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 21:57

Hi,

I have recently started chatting to a guy. We have arranged to meet up but have not met in person as of yet. He told me used to live alone but has recently moved back into his mums house. We are both 25. I am a single parent with a 3yo who is with me.

He has messaged me just now to say that his mum has made him leave because of an argument and that he is homeless for the night. He is asking to stay at mine for the night and keeps asking for my address. Aibu to say no as we haven’t even met in person yet?

OP posts:
CherrySocks · 29/04/2022 22:09

Why would a stranger expect to stay overnight in someone else's home?

On top of this everything he has said could be a pack of lies.

Block block block.

Indoorcamping · 29/04/2022 22:09

Fuck no!

The fact that he's even asked is a massive red flag. Red flag no 2 is the fact that his own mother is sick of his shit.

Block.

JoeGoldberg · 29/04/2022 22:09

He'd be blocked by now if I were you.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/04/2022 22:10

Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 22:08

I definitely won’t let him but he keeps pestering. He is saying he is currently walking the streets and has no where to go!

FFS, block him. This is not the kind of man you want in your life or your child's life. He's a loser.

GroggyLegs · 29/04/2022 22:10

NOOOOOOOO!

  1. wtf is going on so bad that a parent makes their child homeless?
  2. where are his mates?
  3. as PP said, why can't he afford a cheapo hotel - booking.com always has something for £30.

The fact you're questioning whether you're unreasonable makes me concerned OP. It's fine to say no.

over2021 · 29/04/2022 22:11

NO.

Block him immediately.

BemoreDerek · 29/04/2022 22:11

Hell no! It would be like inviting a total stranger off the street to stay the night, just no. Agree with PP's it's red flag city that he doesn't have friends to ask or money for a cheap hotel, you'd be mad to have anything more to do with him.

tortadicarote · 29/04/2022 22:14

Very suspicious behaviour. He must know it's rather strange to ask to stay with a woman he's never met in person. If he knows you have a young child, he's crazy to think you'd let him stay.

Tbh, his mother throwing him out is a huge red flag, too, unless you know the backstory and believe he's not to blame for the tensions between them.

YANBU, not in the least.

Irridescantshimmmer · 29/04/2022 22:15

Omg be very very careful.

Anything could happen, it's not worth the risk regardless of how guilty he tries to make you feel.

You have a duty of care to your child too.

If he's trying to make you feel guilty for his own mistake then he is an arrogant t**t anyway.

PinkSyCo · 29/04/2022 22:15

Obviously you don’t risk yours and your DC’s safety by letting a man you don’t know stay over! Especially when that man is so awful that even his own mother doesn’t want him in her house!

RedDiamond · 29/04/2022 22:17

Yay! Booty Call!!! Really perfect excuse to keep you on your toes as he will be shit to you.

He will become your Cock Lodger. You obviously manage all your finances now, so that means he will not have to contribute anything to your household.

HANG ON! You will have to include his beer in your food shopping. Accept that he just "has to step out for a while" and you cannot question that.

Girl, big pants on. You know you are right. Blocking him and not responding or giving him your address is the best thing you have done.

Ragwort · 29/04/2022 22:20

Why would you even consider this?
You must block him NOW. Do not engage in any more conversations with him.

mycatisannoying · 29/04/2022 22:25

Sorry, but I can't believe you have to ask!
It's a huge no to letting him stay with you and your child, and also a no to dating this loser anyway. How can a total stranger be his only back-up??

mycatisannoying · 29/04/2022 22:26

And BLOCK.

TheOccupier · 29/04/2022 22:26

Jesus Christ, if you have to ask this question, you shouldn't be dating at all. Put your kid first and wait a few years.

HerbertChops · 29/04/2022 22:27

If he’s homeless for the night that’s his problem, not yours. You’ve never even met, you have a young child at home. Your responsibility is to yourself and your child. He is responsible for himself. His behaviour is a massive red flag, I wouldn’t want to meet him ever if he thinks this kind of emotional blackmail is acceptable before you’ve even met! Block him.

Alliswells · 29/04/2022 22:28

Just block him. You've no obligation to let him stay and you have to prioritize your child. There are so so many red flags here. Block him now

SpindleInTheWind · 29/04/2022 22:29

'GET A HOTEL. GOODBYE.'

Delete, block.

Why are you even asking?

Thestoppedfan · 29/04/2022 22:31

Block him! He isn’t your responsibility and him trying to pressure you into giving in shows what type of person he is. He knows youre a woman alone with a child. You don’t know anything about him.

Giveitall · 29/04/2022 22:32

NO NO NO!
Don’t let him have your address.
Please reassure us you won’t share it.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 29/04/2022 22:33

I’d see the fact he’s had an argument with his mum that was so volatile she’s kicked him out and is happy for him to be walking the streets as a huge red flag. Definitely don’t let him stay. Surely he must have other friends or family he could ask (and if he literally had no one that’s another red flag!) or he could get a hotel.

clippety clop · 29/04/2022 22:33

Please just block him. He doesn't know what healthy boundaries are.

Spongeboob · 29/04/2022 22:33

Just block. Nothing good will come of this.

FlowerArranger · 29/04/2022 22:34

This has to be a wind-up...
Surely no one is this stupid.

RosiePosieDozy · 29/04/2022 22:34

Hold firm OP.

This is a red flag tbh. Trying to pressure you like this is concerning.

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