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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to say no?

186 replies

Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 21:57

Hi,

I have recently started chatting to a guy. We have arranged to meet up but have not met in person as of yet. He told me used to live alone but has recently moved back into his mums house. We are both 25. I am a single parent with a 3yo who is with me.

He has messaged me just now to say that his mum has made him leave because of an argument and that he is homeless for the night. He is asking to stay at mine for the night and keeps asking for my address. Aibu to say no as we haven’t even met in person yet?

OP posts:
Yellownightmare · 30/04/2022 06:07

TonkaBean22 · 30/04/2022 05:54

This is from The Gift or Fear right?

Show quote history

It is, yes, and she realised afterwards why she knew he was going to kill her, despite him pretending it was all fine: because he shut the windows before going into the kitchen, and she instinctively knew that was a sign.

UniversalAunt · 30/04/2022 06:12

It’s a straight NO.
Block him.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 30/04/2022 06:13

Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 22:08

I definitely won’t let him but he keeps pestering. He is saying he is currently walking the streets and has no where to go!

If you really feel that you must help him, text him the address of the local travelodge/premier inn or police station. Then block him!

Pixiedust1234 · 30/04/2022 06:40

Please tell me you didn't give in? I do not understand how/why anyone would think this was normal behaviour. Hint. It isn't. Run like hell.

Buildingthefuture · 30/04/2022 06:49

Absolutely not! At best, he’s a cocklodger, at worst he could be…..anything!!!! Delete, block, avoid.

Starryskiesinthesky · 30/04/2022 06:49

Yellownightmare · 30/04/2022 06:07

It is, yes, and she realised afterwards why she knew he was going to kill her, despite him pretending it was all fine: because he shut the windows before going into the kitchen, and she instinctively knew that was a sign.

Show quote history

Omg that is horrendous. Thank goodness she had that sense. I couldn't read that book even though I work with offenders!

StooOrangeyForCrows · 30/04/2022 06:55

Morechocmorechoc · 29/04/2022 22:00

You must say no and stop talking to this man. I'd be concerned his plan is to move in with you and never leave!

Moving in with you and never leaving would be the best of a terrible set of circumstances that could come from you allowing a total stranger into your home!

LoveSpringDaffs · 30/04/2022 06:57

Morechocmorechoc · 29/04/2022 22:00

You must say no and stop talking to this man. I'd be concerned his plan is to move in with you and never leave!

And that's NOT the worst thing that could happen in that situation.

StooOrangeyForCrows · 30/04/2022 06:59

How can you be old enough to have kids but not be able to see you could be walking into a nightmare with this man OP? Serious question. If not for your own sake, for that of your DC, stop answering this man and block and delete.

This has to be a wind up?

Dillydollydingdong · 30/04/2022 07:08

Hotel! That's his answer.

He should be embarrassed to be asking to stay at yours when you haven't even met. I'd be blocking him if I were you.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/04/2022 07:09

Forget not letting him stay with you, don’t see him, don’t chat to him again- no normal bloke would do this, they’d have friends. Weirdo, sex pest- block!

CecilyP · 30/04/2022 07:15

if course you say no. You don’t know him. You haven’t even met him. If he needs a bed for the night that’s what hotels are for. Asking you is so inappropriate, I would have nothing further to do with him.

SunshineAndFizz · 30/04/2022 07:21

Absolutely not. You haven't even met this person before. Where are his friends and family - why is he asking you, a stranger for help above anyone else. This sounds totally dodgy.

Block and ignore!

ivykaty44 · 30/04/2022 07:21

Here you go

Aibu to say no?
RishiRich · 30/04/2022 07:21

I reckon OP turned her phone off. A lucky escape from a veritable frog among men.

skodadoda · 30/04/2022 07:25

Blossom97 · 29/04/2022 22:07

That was my thought. He works so he must have a bank account/money for a hotel. I am starting to think the ‘homeless for the night’ is an excuse to let him come round at 10pm at night!

I too am questioning this ‘homeless for the night’ claim. Where will he go after one night and why can’t he go there straight away?
I wonder how he would respond if you asked him to give you his Mum’s address.
Someone you’ve never met should not be making you feel guilty. It sounds very similar to a romance scam. Cut contact with him.

veronicagoldberg · 30/04/2022 07:25

Why would you even need to ask Mumsnet??

ChairCareOh · 30/04/2022 07:26

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

Milomonster · 30/04/2022 07:30

Flabbergasted that you needed to ask given you have a child. That’s worrying in itself as it shows you don’t understand your own boundaries. I’d have a hard look at why you felt the need to question this.

Sally872 · 30/04/2022 07:31

Completely inappropriate for him to ask.

Can't believe be doesn't have family or friends closer than someone he has never met he would ask.

Even if he does feel he knows you well completely insensitive to think a woman would feel comfortable with this, especially one with a child's safety to consider too.

If his mum who normally allows him to live there doesn't care (or believe) he is homeless for the night it I'd another very bad sign.

Nosetickle · 30/04/2022 07:34

I actually gasped aloud when I read this, I can’t believe you’d even consider letting this man into your house with your daughter there. Please Block this man, you’re lucky he’s shown his true colours before you’ve got in any deeper. It’s scary to think there are people like this out there and worrying that anyone could be taken in by them.

DoctorManhattan · 30/04/2022 07:35

I doubt he was walking around anywhere last night at all, probably sitting on his own sofa thinking of some ridiculous story he could use to get to your place - best case scenario he was hoping to get lucky (which is v wrong in itself considering you haven’t even met), worst case scenario - well, I prob don’t need to spell it out.

Hopefully by this stage you have blocked him. He clearly has issues with boundaries and maybe worse.

Frogslegsbigfeet · 30/04/2022 07:39

I really hope you didn’t give this man your address. There is a high chance you’d be in danger if you did. And even if you didn’t it’s clear something is wrong, he has no friends, no money and is on the streets? Block and delete.

Pigeoning · 30/04/2022 07:42

Fucking hell no.

I'd be questioning wanting to continue speaking to him considering the pressure he's putting you under.

BobHadBitchTits · 30/04/2022 07:44

He was trying to get laid. If he was really roaming the streets, surely he'd have another option than a fucking stranger.

Massive red flag. Stop texting him.