Who is in the wrong here????

[WorriedWelshy]

A few weeks ago I bought my step son a personalised jacket to wear for his 8th birthday party that he's having at his mother's who he lives.

I found out yesterday that she didn't put it on him because apparently it wasn't spelt correctly so he wore something else.

AIBU to call her disrespectful by not putting it on him to wear? She didn't even let us know he wouldn't be wearing it or say thank you for us buying it for him or anything. She said she didn't ask us to buy it and because my step son already said thank you she doesn't think she needs to.
What annoyed me most is she didn't even give it back to us until I had to ASK for it back.

My OH thinks I'm overreacting but I can't help but feel so offended.

[dementedpixie]

Was it spelled incorrectly?
Did he want to wear it?

[CeeceeBloomingdale]

YABU. She’s right, he said thank you. It’s pretty worthless if it’s spelt wrong, how did that even happen?

[Latenightthoughts111]

Aw that’s a good thoughtful present but why was it spelt wrong? Did you not notice before giving to him?

[IsDaveThere]

YABU.

To be honest, if you can't spell his name correctly then I wouldn't put it on him either.

And if your step son had already thanked you, why did his mum need to as well? It wasn't a gift for her!

[WorriedWelshy]

There was a tiny little spelling error but I don't think it was that big of a deal that she wouldn't put him in it.

He told us he wanted to wear it but chose something else, but when I confronted her she said he also noticed the error and chose something else.

[Hont1986]

Feels like a reverse, why else would you include details like he lives with her and the name was misspelled when those clearly put you in the wrong.

[Hereward1332]

YABU. I don't imagine you would be too impressed if she told you what he should wear at yours.

[Ohshitiveturnedintomymother]

I call reverse

[dementedpixie]

After finding out the name wasn't correct then I've voted yabu

[MissusMaisel]

This is a joke, right? Or a reverse?

If not, YABVU. You bought him a personalised jacket (rubbish present for an 8 year old) and spelled his name wrong? Like, how?

She doesn't need to say thank you for your terrible present and she didn't have to put it on him (why would she?) AND she didn't need to give it back to you...what kind of present do you demand back?

All kinds of wrong

[WorriedWelshy]

Thought it might be relevant to say step son doesn't live with us? I didn't spell his actual name wrong BTW there was other writing on the jacket too

[dementedpixie]

But pp is right, its starting to sound like a reverse. How annoying

[AChocolateOrangeaday]

If it was spelt wrong YABVU and he thanked you, why should she have to?

I wouldn't put him in something that was wrong either.

[Seeline]

It was spelt incorrectly! Of course an 8yo isn't going to wear that - all his mates would laugh at him.

And yes, if he said thank you to you directly (which was very gracious of him in the light of the spelling mistake), no, there is no need for further thank yous from anyone.

[AChocolateOrangeaday]

Sorry, missed your update, what was spelt wrong then?

[Eggshelly]

He's eight that's old enough to thank you himself why should she be thanking you? And he's not a dress up doll you can't force him to wear something.

[Sirzy]

Even if the name was correct it would be wrong to dictate what he wore when.

but you should be super apologetic for the fact you couldn’t even spell his name right

[NoodleNuts]

He's 8 - his mum didn't need to 'put him in it'. At that age surely he can choose himself whether to wear it or not. And he chose not to.

I also can't believe that you can't even spell the name of your stepsom correctly. Would you want to wear a jacket with your name spelt wrongly on it?

[Eggshelly]

And she probably didn't want the embarrassment of the spelling mistake

[NoodleNuts]

Sorry, missed that it wasn't his name that was wrong.

[Seeline]

So what was spelt incorrectly?

[Eggshelly]

@WorriedWelshy

There was a tiny little spelling error but I don't think it was that big of a deal that she wouldn't put him in it.

He told us he wanted to wear it but chose something else, but when I confronted her she said he also noticed the error and chose something else.

There we go then. How would you feel being forced to wear something you don't want to?

[Sirzy]

So what did it say on it? Sounds odd to have a jacket with so much personalised writing on!

[Eggshelly]

She didn't even let us know he wouldn't be wearing it why would she? Sorry there's so many bits of your post I just don't get.

[Thirdsummerofourdiscontent]

You don’t get to choose what your partners children wear especially when they aren’t even with you.