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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is friend batshit?

193 replies

userxkkyrdhkhv · 26/04/2022 21:07

I have had a friend for 4 years.
I met her a few times before covid hit.

I began meeting her again some weeks back and we took her child and my child out together.
During these outings friend argued with everyone everywhere we went. In shops, train stations, restaurants, activities, in the street. She argued with them for things like putting too much sauce in a burger and talking on the phone in a taxi.

Friend asked if she could stay 2 nights last week. I said she was more than welcome and if she was still here on x date then could she look after dc in the park next door whilst I got my hair done.

All was fine until I cleaned the bathroom (they had sole use of it as we use en suite). There was urine on the toilet seat and around the Base. I began using a bleach spray, friend started coughing loudly and said, "this is why I use natural products."
Friend left the bathroom and went to the kitchen. When I'd finished cleaning their bathroom I went to the kitchen. Friend demanded I opened the French doors as she was about to "pass out" due to my use of bleach in the bathroom.

Whilst she was here we went on several outings where friend continued to argue with everyone from a Starbucks employee misspelling her name to a teenager standing behind us on the bus.

The day before she left friend attacked a woman for apparently nudging past one of the dc at a busy tube station.

On the final night dc was constipated (chronic) so I had to give multiple medications whilst massaging and pushing their stomach to help them go. Friend asked a question, "is that too much?" To which I replied,"no. This is what dc's consultant advised.

I went to wash my hands in the bathroom when I saw poo in the toilet. This was my trigger point as I have OCD.

Friend went out to smoke a joint and I spoke to my cousin. I arranged to go and see cousin for a night as she has a newborn that I'm yet to meet.
I informed friend via WhatsApp but advised we could still go ahead with our plans that day but she could go home after.
Friend seemed very annoyed and when she came in went straight to the room without saying a word.

Friend was supposed to leave at 08:30am the next morning. I needed to leave between 10-11am however I stalled as friend was clearly not ready. At 12pm I said to friend "we need to leave soon. Should I pack your food items into a bag to help out?" Friend aggressively said,"I cannot leave as you didn't wash or dry my clothes and now I need to borrow money from someone to take a cab home."

I put items in a bag including vegan milk, butter and a pizza. These were the only perishable items and were in the fridge.

15 minutes later friend storms in and mutters very loudly, "she's done this out of spite. If she wants to spiteful I'll be spiteful."

Friend pulled mine and her clothing out of the washing machine onto the floor and proceeded to put her trousers into the dryer.

Friend then left without saying a word.

I locked the door and came back inside to find several of my frozen food items on the floor.

I had to pay my cleaner to return as the room they stayed in was messy and stunk.

In the end the smell was so strong it went through 3 mattress protectors and 7 sheets and we had to throw the entire mattress away.

I then received a text from friend informing me she left several items in my home and telling me to post them to her. I responded saying I was not going to post them after her disrespectful behaviour but she was more than welcome to come and collect them or arrange a postal courier.
There were a few further text engagements before friend blocked me.

I then received this message a few hours ago:

Dont mess with me when it comes to finances, as I will mess with the finances you shouldn't even be receiving, right back. You also owe me for the cream that you didn't use, alongside the clothes that you washed that were nowhere to be found. And the oil £5 aswell. I expect that in my account today. You are also short on reimbursing for your food order, and owe me £15 for the food that perished due to your behaviour.

You crossed a lot of lines with me and your incompetence as a mother and an adult impacted my child on far too many occasions so do not call my phone again as I have no desire to hear anything you have to say to me. Feel free to deduct the £2 for the items you are aware your child is intolerant to yet still force her to consume that was left out of your freezer due to your disgustingly spiteful behaviour.

Aibu or is she batshit?

She stayed for 5 days where she used my toiletries, food, water, electricity, towels etc. She also broke one of my items worth circa £25.

MN deleted my previous thread by mistake.

Posting again as I feel I will need further advice in the next few days as I think she will contact further.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 26/04/2022 21:10

Fucking hell, calling her batshit crazy is unfair to bat shit!!

DrManhattan · 26/04/2022 21:11

Wow

1000yellowdaisies · 26/04/2022 21:12

So much of that i can't really make sense of...
However it is blindingly obvious your 'friend' has a screw loose. Don't send her any money, block on everything qnd never contact her again.

Mistymountain · 26/04/2022 21:15

Have nothing more to do with her. She sounds way beyond batshit - she's not your friend

TheCanyon · 26/04/2022 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Post deleted by MNHQ for breaking Talk guidelines

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 26/04/2022 21:21

Probably still just as batshit as she was yesterday when you posted this!

PurpleDinosaurpark · 26/04/2022 21:23

Hmm that was a confusing read. All I took away from it was why & how did you have so many sheets & mattress protectors on the bed?. Bizarre as fuck!

userxkkyrdhkhv · 26/04/2022 21:24

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 26/04/2022 21:21

Probably still just as batshit as she was yesterday when you posted this!

I clarified at the end.

OP posts:
userxkkyrdhkhv · 26/04/2022 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Post deleted by MNHQ for breaking Talk guidelines

I explained several times I have OCD and autism. The mattress belongs to the landlord. There were several sheets on it when we arrived. I added some more to satisfy my anxiety. Really doesn't matter.

OP posts:
Lochjeda · 26/04/2022 21:29

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winterchills · 26/04/2022 21:31

3 mattress protectors and 7 sheets for 5 nights? Wtf this doesn't make sense. But yes your friend sounds bat shit and I would absolutely block on everything!

wishitwasaduvetday · 26/04/2022 21:32

I think you're both batshit. Her in the story and you in real life.

userxkkyrdhkhv · 26/04/2022 21:32

@Lochjeda @wishitwasaduvetday reported

OP posts:
Queenoftheashes · 26/04/2022 21:34

Both batshit

Pixiedust1234 · 26/04/2022 21:34

I never saw if you responded to my post. I asked why you were cleaning the bathroom when they had sole use of it for the duration, AND you employ a cleaner? That does not make sense.

The other bit that doesn't make sense is the mattress and covers. Did she spill aftershave on it or something? And why seven sheets? Couldn't you have washed them instead of adding more? Sounds a bit princess and the pea. I know you kind of responded to a pp about it but until it makes sense to the majority of readers then you are coming across just as batshit as your friend atm

DogsAndGin · 26/04/2022 21:34

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Deleted by MNHQ: Quotes deleted post

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 26/04/2022 21:35

@userxkkyrdhkhv Ah apologies I didn't see that part! Definitely batshit though!!

ImInStealthMode · 26/04/2022 21:35

Every element of this story is a batshit, to a greater or lesser degree.

userxkkyrdhkhv · 26/04/2022 21:36

Pixiedust1234 · 26/04/2022 21:34

I never saw if you responded to my post. I asked why you were cleaning the bathroom when they had sole use of it for the duration, AND you employ a cleaner? That does not make sense.

The other bit that doesn't make sense is the mattress and covers. Did she spill aftershave on it or something? And why seven sheets? Couldn't you have washed them instead of adding more? Sounds a bit princess and the pea. I know you kind of responded to a pp about it but until it makes sense to the majority of readers then you are coming across just as batshit as your friend atm

Why would I not clean a toilet, that has guests using it, for 7 days? Confused

OP posts:
TerryChoc · 26/04/2022 21:37

Ok firstly bless you as you’ve took the time to re-post this it’s clear it’s a massive bother to you. A lot to unfold here but basically, yes she’s in the wrong and sounds massively like a spoilt brat. No friend at all. Please just don’t send any money and block her, have a cry about her being a cow as you’ll need, take a lesson learnt and give yourself some breathing space
while thankful she’s gone out your life

userxkkyrdhkhv · 26/04/2022 21:39

HopingForMyRainbowBaby · 26/04/2022 21:35

@userxkkyrdhkhv Ah apologies I didn't see that part! Definitely batshit though!!

That's okay! I'm just waiting for her to either turn up trying to fight or maybe report me to some legal body so I'm posting in anticipation to see how to respond.

OP posts:
hellcatspanglelalala · 26/04/2022 21:40

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PickledElf · 26/04/2022 21:40

Glad you packed vegan milk.. I’ll sleep better knowing it wasn’t any other milk. But seriously why did clean the bathroom with her standing over you, leave the cleaning items in the bathroom and perhaps she’d have done it herself. I wouldn’t be seeing her again, she sounds like a nightmare

motherofchihuahuas · 26/04/2022 21:40

PurpleDinosaurpark · 26/04/2022 21:23

Hmm that was a confusing read. All I took away from it was why & how did you have so many sheets & mattress protectors on the bed?. Bizarre as fuck!

Same. I don't even have seven sheets.

Did amber heard stay?

userxkkyrdhkhv · 26/04/2022 21:42

TerryChoc · 26/04/2022 21:37

Ok firstly bless you as you’ve took the time to re-post this it’s clear it’s a massive bother to you. A lot to unfold here but basically, yes she’s in the wrong and sounds massively like a spoilt brat. No friend at all. Please just don’t send any money and block her, have a cry about her being a cow as you’ll need, take a lesson learnt and give yourself some breathing space
while thankful she’s gone out your life

Thank you. I do feel a lot calmer now she's gone thank you.
I'm not planning on sending her money but I think she blocked me before she received my text.
She threatened to report me to DWP so I'm awaiting that.

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