Or is friend batshit?

[userxkkyrdhkhv]

I have had a friend for 4 years.
I met her a few times before covid hit.

I began meeting her again some weeks back and we took her child and my child out together.
During these outings friend argued with everyone everywhere we went. In shops, train stations, restaurants, activities, in the street. She argued with them for things like putting too much sauce in a burger and talking on the phone in a taxi.

Friend asked if she could stay 2 nights last week. I said she was more than welcome and if she was still here on x date then could she look after dc in the park next door whilst I got my hair done.

All was fine until I cleaned the bathroom (they had sole use of it as we use en suite). There was urine on the toilet seat and around the Base. I began using a bleach spray, friend started coughing loudly and said, "this is why I use natural products."
Friend left the bathroom and went to the kitchen. When I'd finished cleaning their bathroom I went to the kitchen. Friend demanded I opened the French doors as she was about to "pass out" due to my use of bleach in the bathroom.

Whilst she was here we went on several outings where friend continued to argue with everyone from a Starbucks employee misspelling her name to a teenager standing behind us on the bus.

The day before she left friend attacked a woman for apparently nudging past one of the dc at a busy tube station.

On the final night dc was constipated (chronic) so I had to give multiple medications whilst massaging and pushing their stomach to help them go. Friend asked a question, "is that too much?" To which I replied,"no. This is what dc's consultant advised.

I went to wash my hands in the bathroom when I saw poo in the toilet. This was my trigger point as I have OCD.

Friend went out to smoke a joint and I spoke to my cousin. I arranged to go and see cousin for a night as she has a newborn that I'm yet to meet.
I informed friend via WhatsApp but advised we could still go ahead with our plans that day but she could go home after.
Friend seemed very annoyed and when she came in went straight to the room without saying a word.

Friend was supposed to leave at 08:30am the next morning. I needed to leave between 10-11am however I stalled as friend was clearly not ready. At 12pm I said to friend "we need to leave soon. Should I pack your food items into a bag to help out?" Friend aggressively said,"I cannot leave as you didn't wash or dry my clothes and now I need to borrow money from someone to take a cab home."

I put items in a bag including vegan milk, butter and a pizza. These were the only perishable items and were in the fridge.

15 minutes later friend storms in and mutters very loudly, "she's done this out of spite. If she wants to spiteful I'll be spiteful."

Friend pulled mine and her clothing out of the washing machine onto the floor and proceeded to put her trousers into the dryer.

Friend then left without saying a word.

I locked the door and came back inside to find several of my frozen food items on the floor.

I had to pay my cleaner to return as the room they stayed in was messy and stunk.

In the end the smell was so strong it went through 3 mattress protectors and 7 sheets and we had to throw the entire mattress away.

I then received a text from friend informing me she left several items in my home and telling me to post them to her. I responded saying I was not going to post them after her disrespectful behaviour but she was more than welcome to come and collect them or arrange a postal courier.
There were a few further text engagements before friend blocked me.

I then received this message a few hours ago:

Dont mess with me when it comes to finances, as I will mess with the finances you shouldn't even be receiving, right back. You also owe me for the cream that you didn't use, alongside the clothes that you washed that were nowhere to be found. And the oil £5 aswell. I expect that in my account today. You are also short on reimbursing for your food order, and owe me £15 for the food that perished due to your behaviour.

You crossed a lot of lines with me and your incompetence as a mother and an adult impacted my child on far too many occasions so do not call my phone again as I have no desire to hear anything you have to say to me. Feel free to deduct the £2 for the items you are aware your child is intolerant to yet still force her to consume that was left out of your freezer due to your disgustingly spiteful behaviour.

Aibu or is she batshit?

She stayed for 5 days where she used my toiletries, food, water, electricity, towels etc. She also broke one of my items worth circa £25.

MN deleted my previous thread by mistake.

Posting again as I feel I will need further advice in the next few days as I think she will contact further.

Six of her... half a dozen of you.

Thank you. She's just so convincing. It's like she's in my head. How can someone treat me like that if I did nothing wrong? This reminds me of dc's abusive father actually but he was this way early on. This is new from her. I've known her 4 years.

Blimey

When you say she argues with everyone, is it full arguing or more detailed questions of when person is doing x she's like why not do it x method instead etc ?

Yup, she's batshit. She needs to lay off the drugs.

Block her, op.

You both sound utterly bonkers really

@Hawkins001 one example I can give.

We ordered non alcoholic cocktails.

She had a sip and claimed it was alcoholic.

I asked to taste some (I'm teetotal) and I said it had a zingy aftertaste but I wasn't sure it was alcohol.

She asked the manager to check whether it was in fact alcoholic. Manager checked and said it isn't but she will give her a new one anyway. Friend shouted at manager and demanded old drink back and said, "if you said it isn't alcoholic then I'll take your word. But if I'm drunk I'll take you to court."

Friend had a third and started stumbling saying she was drunk. She kicked off and they voided the entire bill.

Why did she ask to stay with you?

Alright haggis

I don't know why I'm still protecting some of her personal information but it was so that she could tell a professional body she was staying here.

As she had displayed several instances of unpleasant and unreasonable behaviour ( she "argued with everyone") before staying with you, I'm not sure why you are surprised that it extended to you when she was in your home. People who are consistently aggressive in public are very unlikely to be better in private.

There are replies on here that really make me worry about humanity.

Just in case you’re unable to take someone’s word on it, the sensory issues that come with being autistic can include having an amazing sense of smell. It’s not my favourite super power. 😳

This is EXACTLY the kind of trouble that some autistic people get in to. Because they have don’t necessarily get social cues, they stick to a script of how the world works. One of these may be “I don’t’ know what happened so I will stay out of it” re: the arguments with others.

As @userxkkyrdhkhv said, often it’s only when you’re right in the middle of the disaster zone that you realise what you’re dealing with.

Even after the OP said that she is autistic and deals with OCD, you decide to be really obnoxious. Shame on you. Just because you don’t understand, doesn’t mean it’s not true, or that you should be allowed to be so unpleasant.

Please ignore these ignorant people, they have no idea what they’re talking about. Fortunately, plenty of others have been supportive and understanding.

Do take the advice to just ignore. I think that if you just leave it (please block her again), she will not pester you, just disappear, which is what you need.

She obviously has issues in her life, hence needing to stay with you, and her behaviours generally. Just because you both have extra challenges, doesn’t mean you need to prop her up!

If in doubt, just think in terms of self-preservation, and the impact she has had on you.

I too would like to know the answer to this. 3 protectors and 7 sheets?! What do you think is going to go from the mattress into just 1 mattress protector and 1 sheet? 😂

Block all contact but keep those texts, just incase she does something even bat shit crazier, then you have proof of some form of threat i.e financially.

In that case, omg, but if they say x why the extra attitude from your friend ?

people saying this is fantasy, I don’t know… I made the mistake of holidays v with a friend who behaved like this.

She picked fights with every waiter, ticket seller, driver, server omg it was terrible. She commented loudly and disparagingly about people sat nearby or passing. And towards the end of the (thankfully short) break, she turned on others in the house, her son’s girlfriend and then her son.
On the last day she got up at 6am and crashed around cleaning in a martyr-like fashion despite the fact we had agreed the night before to be up by 9am and who would clean what.

And when it came time to board the flight home, she disappeared. I continued boarding and her daughter approached me to tell me that she and her mother had paid to switch seats (away from me). Which was actually nice for me because I got 3 seats to myself 😂

She was so extraordinarily rude - to everyone who came within 4ft of her, it was bizarre.

Writing this down makes it seem more bizarre!!!

And yet once home, she resumed texting and invites as though nothing had happened. Bizarre.

It also seems she should stay off the weed too.

You only have to YouTube and some behaviours in stores ect omg

@userxkkyrdhkhv I
does your friend realise how she is or appears to others with her behaviour ?

That brought a tear to my eye.

Thank you so much. You explained things about mysekf that I didn't even know or understand.

I stupidly thought that her behaviour was as a result of her mental health. I also thought she wouldn't treat me in the same way as she did strangers as I'm her only friend, literally.

I'm still shocked and I'm almost grieving realising this person was here the other day and now they don't exist anymore. It's really weird. I'm still shocked.

I can only explain that I'm naive but it's like you said, I don't understand social cues and see the world through a "limited view"

Thank you again.

I can learn from this I hope. Stop viewing people as only good.

To be frank I think you’re both batshit.
and that’s offensive to bats.

Until we have spent a lot of time with someone it is easy to overlook these things. I have done it myself.

Its likely that if they receive a report then they will investigate then contact you if your are found to be doing anything wrong/illegal/fraud. To be honest you don't need to worry at all unless you are doing something wrong and given that your worried about it it kinda says that well... your likely doing something wrong otherwise you wouldn't be bothered at all about a report that is going to show absolutely nothing. When they investigate they can get access to your bank accounts etc so if for example someone said you were living with a partner they would check for joint bank accounts/money coming in from a partner into your bank account etc. People are interviewed (normally under caution) after the DWP have gathered evidence on them. They ain't gona give anyone a chance to hide evidence by notifying them first that there has been a report on them.

Everything else .. block, delete and never have any contact again.

and given that your worried about it it kinda says that well... your likely doing something wrong otherwise you wouldn't be bothered at all about a report that is going to show absolutely nothing.

Are you taking the piss?
I asked if they would contact me about it.
I have stated I have OCD, OCD is caused by anxiety. I'm sure even someone without diagnosed anxiety would feel concerned that someone may report them to someone. What a bizarre post.