Page 8 | Hit me with some hard truth

Newmama93 · 2022-04-23T08:34:21+00:00

https://herviewfromhome.com/motherhood-son-growing-up-slowest-breakup/ this article has me really depressed and feeling so miserable for a while now. Is this what it’s really like? I was so unprepared for the pain of this.

Butterfly44 · 23/04/2022 14:27

Omg. He's 1. He will be inseparable atm. Then he grows up and has friends and becomes independent. What you feel now will not be the same later.

Stylishkidintheriot · 23/04/2022 14:28

I adore my son. But my job is to get him ready for being a successful independent adult. he’s still 6, but still, encouraging him to join groups, do well at school and make friends, help with cooking etc

MissChanandlerBong80 · 23/04/2022 14:34

But all children, boys and girls, grow up don’t they? Of course there will be moments of pain and nostalgia as they grow apart from you but that’s parenting. And also the passage of time.

The alternative is that they don’t grow up. And I imagine that’s considerably more painful.

BoredZelda · 23/04/2022 14:36

@VladmirsPoutine

Ahh, the self censorship didn’t last long I see.

MurmuratingStarling · 23/04/2022 14:37

noirchatsdeux · 23/04/2022 11:35

Utter shite like this makes me even gladder I didn't have children.

It makes ME glad that I don't have boys. It seems to be mothers of sons who have the attitude that the OP has. Not ALL mothers of sons before anyone starts, but some. If there is going to be a mawkish, overly sentimental, clingy thread like this, it will almost certainly be started by a mother of sons.

I boaked slightly at 'I loveeeeee him so much!' 🤢

As a pp said further back, (some) mothers of sons are probably more like this, because the worry/belief that sons leave and never come back, but daughters stay close.

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 23/04/2022 14:43

Newmama93 · 23/04/2022 13:15

So many amazing comments. Thanks everyone. I cry as I hold my 1 year old in my arms, I love him so much as he is today, tiny teeth, cheeky grin and clumsy walking. I don’t ever miss the time that has passed as I love him so much as he is so hopefully I feel this way as he grows. I just feel it’s an adjustment to have this bond as we do, him being the centre of my world and vice versa to have to deal with me slowly becoming pushed away. Ahhh I’ll have to get a puppy

Are you OK?

Your child is supposed to grow up, and him having a life outside of you is totally normal.

Holding him and crying that one day you won't be the centre of his world is pretty worrying behaviour.

EvilPea · 23/04/2022 14:44

You love each child as they are, you miss aspects of them, but you get incredible new ones to embrace

so the baby years get replaced by toddler years, you might miss rocking them to sleep, but you love their little character developing, then toddlers replaced by small child. You miss watching them nap, but you love the fact they can engage more.
small child replaced by child, you miss the awe at everything, but love the fact they have their own passions.
etc etc

ive a teen and a preteen. I love sharing music, tv shows and a love of food.
each stage brings a new child to love, it’s incredible.

yes, I miss the peppa pig years, but I love that we can go to festivals, farmers markets together.

i don’t know who tomorrows child will be, but I know I will love them.

bringincrazyback · 23/04/2022 14:45

What a whiney article. People shouldn't have kids if they can't cope with the fact that they won't always be little.

ineedsun · 23/04/2022 14:47

MurmuratingStarling · 23/04/2022 14:37

It makes ME glad that I don't have boys. It seems to be mothers of sons who have the attitude that the OP has. Not ALL mothers of sons before anyone starts, but some. If there is going to be a mawkish, overly sentimental, clingy thread like this, it will almost certainly be started by a mother of sons.

I boaked slightly at 'I loveeeeee him so much!' 🤢

As a pp said further back, (some) mothers of sons are probably more like this, because the worry/belief that sons leave and never come back, but daughters stay close.

Show quote history

Nah, the ones I know who are like this are mothers of girls.

volezvoo · 23/04/2022 14:47

VladmirsPoutine · 23/04/2022 12:53

@volezvoo I'd say there's a huge element in truth to that. Let's remove the obvious going NC because mother / family was abusive and of course many families have relatives spread all over the globe. But in the most general sense I do think daughters 'stick around' or continue to have a certain bond with their mothers that son's generally don't. Even when I look at my own family in which there was no abuse and we all had a fairly great childhood my sisters and I are much more interactive with our mum than our brothers who will only really attend family gatherings if it's an occasion or something like that whereas the rest of us will call our mum to ask if she fancies going for lunch on the hoof iyswim?

Interesting as it’s not something I’ve observed in my extended family. There’s no ‘bad’ or ‘strained’ relationships but most of the girls have very much gone off to have their own lives, gone to universities hours away and stayed longterm etc. It doesn’t mean there isn’t that different ‘bond’ of course I just think nowadays plenty of women will go off and do their own thing, many not choose to have children/marriage as well.

JaneJeffer · 23/04/2022 14:57

It reminds me of that creepy poem:

"That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

JollyWilloughby · 23/04/2022 15:07

My son is nearly 13. I have enjoyed every single stage.

there’s a few mums on my FB who proclaim they want their kids to stay little forever. I find them irritating.

life changes, kids grow, we all evolve.

nurture the present and you won’t feel like this. I’m always just grateful I’m still here!

JollyWilloughby · 23/04/2022 15:12

if your son leaves the nest, finds a wife who he puts first (and should put first) that’s a job well done. I wish that for both of my sons. I do not wish to be number one forever.

it is my job to raise two boys who become self sufficient men.

Beelezebub · 23/04/2022 15:19

Nicely, get a grip. A good, firm grip.

They’re SUPPOSED to grow up. They’re supposed to grow away. That’s the complete and utter point. They are never ‘yours’ to start with. If you didn’t realise that before you had a child, then you had a child for the wrong reason and might have been better only getting a puppy.

grapewines · 23/04/2022 15:23

JaneJeffer · 23/04/2022 14:57

It reminds me of that creepy poem:

"That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

That's creepy as fuck!

knittingaddict · 23/04/2022 15:23

Newmama93 · 23/04/2022 09:59

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the honesty!

does it feel like this to some degree? I guess I’m feeling a little nervous on how I’ll handle the adjustment as my son and I are inseperable.

He's 1. Of course you're inseparable. Well sort of.

I certainly hope you won't be when he's older.

The best thing you can do for your children is to love them enough to ensure that they are capable, well rounded and independent human beings. It should be a proud day when you see them enter the adult world and make their own way in it.

I didn't bother to read the link because it sounds like utter twaddle.

MurmuratingStarling · 23/04/2022 15:39

JaneJeffer · 23/04/2022 14:57

It reminds me of that creepy poem:

"That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

I had to google this because I was sure this couldn't be real and you had just made it up! But it's actually real! It's horrifying!

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 23/04/2022 15:42

JaneJeffer · 23/04/2022 14:57

It reminds me of that creepy poem:

"That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."

Bloody hell, sounds like something that would get read out in court when he has applied for a restraining order.

Also how the fuck is anyone supposed to pick up a fully grown man.

I'm 5ft 5" ds is 6ft 3", I doubt I would even be able to pick up one of his arms and sing to it 😂all that climbing and crawling too, I'm knackered just reading it.

quiteathome · 23/04/2022 15:42

That poem is disturbing.

I do not miss Peppa pig now mine are older.

Wheniruletheworld · 23/04/2022 16:16

Newmama93 · 23/04/2022 09:59

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the honesty!

does it feel like this to some degree? I guess I’m feeling a little nervous on how I’ll handle the adjustment as my son and I are inseperable.

Well, being 'inseparable ' is not healthy for a start

JollyWilloughby · 23/04/2022 16:17

That poem is disturbing but also a little hilarious 😂😂😂

BikiniB0tt0m · 23/04/2022 16:21

Notimeforaname · 23/04/2022 09:52

Oh ffs

😂😂 my thoughts exactly!

KimWexlersPonyTail · 23/04/2022 16:43

This thread has just reminded me of a tv thriller with Diana Rigg, think it was called Mummy Dearest?

bringincrazyback · 23/04/2022 16:50

I'm reading this at the moment, and although I'm only part way through it so far, there's quite a bit of 'chime' between it and some of the sentiments I've read on this thread. But not in a good way. wry smile

www.amazon.co.uk/Marriage-absolutely-jaw-dropping-psychological-thriller-ebook/dp/B091Z1J5VQ

MurmuratingStarling · 23/04/2022 17:14

KimWexlersPonyTail · 23/04/2022 16:43

This thread has just reminded me of a tv thriller with Diana Rigg, think it was called Mummy Dearest?

Mother Love it was. Very good it was too. BBC drama from 1989 (I think it was 1989 anyway.)